My name is Sam and I am an alcoholic. Raised around it, have drank since the age of 14. Being the life of the party is all I have really ever known. When I joined the Marine Corp I thought it would be better getting far away from my family. Man I was in for a rude awakening after boot camp, I drank more. A case a day was nothing for me to handle and function. So I continued to drink and be the life of the party. Many blackouts later I found myself discharged and heading back home. I will fast forward 20 years now, still drinking, married, 2 kids, great job and more alone then ever. My last drink was 11/26/2016 when I woke up in a hotel 45 minutes from home and didn’t remember driving there or parting for another 6 hours once I got there. The first 12 days was pure hell. Insomnia, sweats, tears, anger, shame and disgusted. I didn’t give up though. I found this app and I have been reading and reading afraid to reach out. Today though I am reaching out for help from you all amazing people that understand my story. I can’t promise what tomorrow has in store for me but TODAY I AM STILL SOBER. Thanks for letting me share.
Keep up the fight! As a blackout drinker myself, I can relate to all the feelings that come with it. Thanks for sharing your story! 
Blackout drinker also. 30 days sober today and not going back.
Surrender. Then put it in God’s hands and trust Him. It works. And remember there is no ViCTORY in easy.
Keep it up @Sam !!! In the last year I have had too many blackouts that I care to remember.
Congrats Sam! I can tell you how many things in my life I have done because “this will force me to not drink as much”. Never worked. So I’m on day 11. Other than occasional sweats for no reason most of the withdrawals are over. I notice my face a little flush for no reason at times. Anyone had that?
Thank you everyone! My post sounded like I am not grateful for my sobriety but I truly am! I have found myself. I have found I am strong. I love to breathe fresh air. Since they fog in my brain has lifted everything is so bright around me. Life is amazing and I can’t wait to see where it takes me.
Congrats and thanks for sharing your story!
Congratulations. I always admire people who can stop on their own without going through a detox at a hospital. I was never strong enough to just stop after I realized I was getting that bad. Goodluck to you thanks for sharing 
I think in the short five days of reading and three days of being sober I can say I’m in awe of the strength of humans and their spirit. You have conquered quite a lot so far…
The tenacity of spirit of the people on here is amazing and inspiring. Keep going, waking up afraid and without knowledge of what or why is the scariest moments I have experienced. I am reading that you understand that feeling. Just keep going.
@ImJustMe congratulations on 9 days! Blackouts are the scariest, at least for me. I have done so many hurtful crazy things in my blackouts that people would want apologies for but I do you apologize for something you can’t remember. I lost so many people in my life by not remembering what I would say or do. But thankfully like you we are on our to be better people and being sober I am finding such a blessing!