At one month again. Struggling a bit with my mental health. Feeling better everyday but I’ve been here before, I’m currently seeking help regarding a bipolar diagnosis, and I’m scared because I have relapsed a whole bunch. I know how great it feels to be sober, I know how bad it feels to fall off the wagon, drink, have my meds stop working and start all over again. It’s like alcohol is so ingrained in who I am, that I feel like a boring imposter without it. Like I won’t be able to live a full exciting happy life without it. But with it, I know I won’t either. Just having a hard day today.
I’m diagnosed bipolar and what a fucking difference it’s been not drinking on top of the meds. They actually work, who knew.
My mental health is always fluctuating, but alcohol is a depressant, and especially detrimental in conjunction with bipolar. It’s definitely been more manageable off the booze, even though I have a lot of the same fears of not being social enough or dull. I have to remind myself that my mental sanity is most important and while I thought the drinking “helped”, it actually contributed dramatically to my mental decline.
One month is great. You’re doing amazing. Just take one day at a time. You can do this.
Hang in there alycia, Thinking of you and sending positive vibes your way…