Hi Fellow Recovery Heroes,
A year ago my life was out of control. You might know the alcoholism analogy of being in a barrel going slowly over the edge of a hill, picking up speed and then racing down a precipice towards a jagged rock-face where you get shattered and destroyed. Well, I was nearing that end and my drinking was out of control. I was suicidal, depressed and I couldn’t see a way out. I was somehow lucky to scrape myself together and book myself into rehab for a month last year November.
Not going into detail about my experience there I stepped out with a much clearer mind and renewed hope I might be ‘cured’, but within 2 weeks I relapsed for about a month, got kicked out of AA aftercare because of it and suddenly I was at exactly the same place I were before stepping into recovery. With the realization that all the recovery work was concluding to nothing I pulled myself together and stopped drinking on my own. Two weeks later I relapsed again, then sobered up for a while, relapsed again and then got so sick I felt I was dying. Shaking, heart palpitating I read up that I had revolving door syndrome.
So a month ago I switched my mind into a different gear and although it is still early days I recognize when my thoughts turn to alcohol and I can snap out of it quicker than before. I still feel my body trying to recover from years and years of abuse - even now a month later. Although I slept most of the weekend I don’t feel bad at all - I am allowed to feel tired.
At least I do not have a massive hangover like most Mondays in the past, and that feels great.
Let’s soldier on - just one day at a time…
Have a super sober week Heroes in Sobriety!