After many years of alcoholism, I made it to a full year sober!! Woo Hoo! I did not think I would ever make it this far! There is so much I have learned and so so much to still learn.
I could not have done this without my TS family and my Zoom TS family. I had tried to abstain so many times in the past. I had even checked myself into rehab and that lasted a whole three months. What was the difference this time? Support, accountability, and a total different mind-set and I have everyone here to thank for that!
What have I gained in this last year?
The new relationship that I’m developing with my baby girl. I always saw myself as a good mother, but did not realize how absent emotionally and mentally I was. It wasn’t until I stopped drinking that I noticed her coming around me more. We now laugh together more. We dance together more. We watch movies under covers with popcorn. This is priceless and I will never go back. The years lost can never be replaced but I can make darn sure that I will never let a precious moment go by with her.
I have my life back! Every waking moment it was about needing that alcohol. When? Where? How? What time? Just because I work and make a good living, and all the material things that come with it, I thought that I was doing okay. It fed into this terrible denial on my part. How could I be an alcoholic if all those roles, which were laid out to me by family and society, fulfilled? Oh how we functioning alcoholics lie to ourselves.
I can drive again!!! You don’t know how much freedom is lost in your life until you can’t drive anymore!! My drinking had caused vertigo and the world spun around ALL THE TIME. There were times that I could not even walk straight. What a way to live.
And I’ve gained a new family. One that understands and is there for me whenever I need them. Thank you all… every one of you 
Thank you for being there since day 1!
feels amazing huh?
