How ya doing @RANDOM? Just checking in on ya!
Yup first shot at it! Hoping I can just stubbornly hang on until a time comes when itās not the first thing I think about. I just keep looking at that money counter for inspiration!
Pills. For the last 8 or so years. Started small at first, a little reward at the end of the day. Then of course it became a daily habit and the doses had to get bigger and bigger to keep up. You know how it goes.
Today Iāve run errands and worked a little and I have to say it is testing me. How do people get through the tedium of life sober?!
Good for you for getting off it while the gettinā good. I know it was a deep deep rabbit hole I went down. And I know Iām not gonna get all the crap outta my system and learn how to operate without it over night. But goddamn I donāt see how people do it. Iām at the point where every time I get the urge I say to myself maybe this weekend and then by the weekend maybe I can say maybe later this week. And just keep pushing it back and back and back until it never happens.
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Keep at it guys. Iām on day 30, feeling better but still not right. Sleep is hit and miss, enegry levels are way down but life is great again. I got my life back
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Good to know thereās at least a little light at the end of the tunnel!
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Itās not a little light, itās a bright light. I know what youāre going through itās fucking miserable. But it will end
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Love your motto. Youāre definitely a hero.
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Nothing yet.
Hopefuly in time your body bad brain can heal,reset, and calm.
It takes a good dam while for that to happen.
My freind Bob said his doctorās told him two years minimum to get his biochemistry back in balance, and Iāve never ever seen Bob look as good as he does now!
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I feel 90% better, just a few things are still not right but Iāll deal with them. The mental struggle is the bitch
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Shouting down the junkie brain.
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Two years! Goddamnit Bob aināt nobody got time for that!
Isnāt there a magic potion of vitamins and essential oils and hippy shit thatāll cut that in half?
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You play, you pay
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For fucks sake DO NOT DO A CLEANSING DIET.
Your body wants to and can take care of itself in that regard.
Take up a clean hobby, like writing angry letters to the editor,collecting Hummel figurines,
Go to a high hill top and scream at clouds, become a fashion punk,just getting dressed will be an adventure!
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Maybe Iām already a letter writing cloud screaming fashion punk. You donāt know me! 
Iām kidding. Iām picking up what youāre putting down. Though Iām not sure i know what a Hummel figurine is. Lol
Sorry Iām in a weird mood. Iāve been reading too much Shakespeare. (Iām an English nerd, well was, when I could remember things and retain information. And good ol Shakes was always my fav so Iām rereading stuff and trying to exercise that part of my brain I guess. So if anyone needs a book report done, twenty bucks I got you)
ANYWAY tl;dr=wierd mood reading weird things but made it through the day without caving to craving. And now Iām gonna steam in the shower for a while and then hit the hay.
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Dan Iāve died,and Iāve come through.
In a coma for a month, my autistic son had to be asked whether to take me off life support, he gave power of attorney to his grandma,and every day i felt guilt.
Four years later Iām still in constant pain still hurt,I still do drugs at times Iām still an addict,I never gave up because THEY never gave up, and no one here is ready to give up on you.
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Things will. Stay strong. Youāre not alone! Every decision is just one moment in time. A single moment. Whether itās using or a suicidal thought or just eating one more cookie. Itās just a single tiny moment. And moments pass quickly. But keep stringing them into minutes and hours and days one moment at a time? Now weāre getting somewhere. And now I want a cookie. Yesterday was hard for me mentally but I made it through with this forumand music and just texting nonsense with friends. And my dog is pretty cool, he helps. Stay with us! You know that this too shall pass!
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Dammit now I want a cookie,stop It!
I ate so healthy at breakfast I thought I was going to die in the bathroom like Elvis did.
Being healthy is its own struggle. 