Opiates suck

Whenever I was younger, I was a “wild child”. I did any drug or alcohol I could get my hands on. So I can’t get too upset whenever I think about the position I am in and the life I created for myself. I dropped out of college and recently lost my job. Losing my job was the last straw and now here I am.
I’m almost to day 6, which is a huge accomplishment for myself. I usually relapse by now. Right now, I’m kicking opiates. Specially oxycodone, which makes me feel out of place since many people on here seem to be kicking alcohol or smoking. I’ve been on oxycodone for 3 years, but I’ve been taking suboxone the past few days which has helped with the pain. The physical pain is the worst part. I couldn’t deal with the pain and trying to get my next fix. It was an endless cycle that had to come to a final end.
Most of my family is supportive, but they all say, “I’ll believe it when I see it.” This honestly makes it harder to quit even though I should want to do it to prove to them, but it just seems they don’t care much and expect me to relapse. I need their suport, especially when I can barely support myself. Being sober just seems so boring.

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I felt exactly like you when I created an account here. I’ve been sober from opiates for 50 days today and for the last 3.5 years I was using them heavily. Reading thus really reminds me of myself. I was 9-12 years old snorting oxycottin. Statistically I should be a peice of shit. But I chose to be a funtioning addict. Ive quit in the past and used suboxone. My only advice to you is do not use it long. I thankfully didn’t use it at all this time around. But if you need someone to talk to or emotional support shoot me a message. You can and will get through this you just want to have to really want it for yourself. No one else. Congrats on six days!

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Thank you! I really appreciate you. Congrats I’m your 50 days too!
I havent taken suboxone in a day, hoping the pain would have subsided but it hasn’t. I could barely sleep last night. The restless legs were unbearable. I was heavily smoking oxys for 3 years. Mt lungs hurt So bad from the foil. It was awful.

Good keep going! The withdraws I had from suboxone were far worse than pills. So I refused to take it after I got it out of my system. It took me about 7-10 days to really not hurt anymore. But that’s without anything. Suboxone still tricks your body into thinking its high. I never got into smoking them thankfully. I snorted them but I was getting to the point where I was gonna need to start smoking them to get a high and not get sick from taking so many pain pills. It’s so hard to kick but once you do you will feel so much better! My boyfriend still uses and using suboxone which has been very difficult but he finally wants to taper of subs and be sober again. It’s gotta be hard not having emotional support from your family. My mom has accused me of having a problem but I never told her I actually did and don’t think I ever will. I hope I’d get support from her but I know she would look at me differently. So I don’t go that route. Just keep your head up and stay busy! I reward myself once a week every week I’m sober. With things I never got for myself before because getting high was more important. It’s helped me a lot. I’m also reading the book Guts. It’s about an alcohoic/opioid addict she tells her story and i really recommend getting it

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I didn’t know that about suboxone but that definitely makes sense. I would mainly smoke, sometimes snort. With smoking, it hurts your lungs so bad. The first pill you have to choke down and then you can finally enjoy it. I got tired of that, finally.
I don’t know how you do it with your boyfriend still doing it, props to you girl. It takes a lot to be strong like that.
I honestly wish I wouldn’t of told my mom. She does look at me different and I hate it. It makes me feel worse about myself than I already do because my mom is my world, she’s the only one who has ever been there for me. My dad left so it was just me and my mom.
That’s a great idea. I don’t even want to know how much I’ve spent on pills. It’s waaay too much money.
And I’m going to look into that. I used to love reading so it’d be something to keep me busy

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It is so hard. He doesn’t do them a lot thankfully since I’m not doing them anymore. But it’s still hard when he does. It definitely has caused a lot of problems for us. He said he wants to quit so I’m hoping he will. And that’s why I never told my mom. I was her pride and joy and for her to find out her pride and joy was a addicted to drugs would probably make her lose it. And probably put blame on her because she has given me pain pills in the past. My dad hasn’t been in my life since I was about 10. He calls when he’s drunk and wants to do the poor me thing. I really could care less if he supported me or not. One thing that helps me when I’m having a rough time is saying to myself “I’m not going to use today.” and you tell yourself that every time eventually it gets easier. I’ve got faith in you!

Girl, I literally feel like you are telling my life right now. I couldn’t relate more.
I relapsed after a week, but have now been clean almost 4 days. I’m hoping the temptation won’t be as bad this time. I had such easy access to them a week ago and couldnt help myself

Hey there! I’m 19, hopped on the oxy train at 14 after becoming dependant on Xanax. I snorted to keep the withdrawals at bay and smoked them off foil to get the high. Those pills are the absolutely devil as you know but I was on suboxone at 15, I traded my addiction to Oxys (they ran out of them and all my friends switched to dope) for suboxone which I instantly got hooked too for 4 years. When I got off the suboxone finally 40days ago along with Xanax and Kpins. The withdrawals from suboxone are DEVASTATING. They are about a 7-10 compared to the oxy withdrawal but oxy withdrawal lasts about two weeks TOPS. The suboxone had me feeling like I literally had clouds in my head and couldn’t remember anything, was depressed, craving, that seriously lasted for 4 weeks until the physical pain subsided but then the mental clouds still affect me to this day. I much rather would have vomited my guts out for 7 days off Oxy. Do yourself a favor and don’t take more then 2mg of suboxone at once and use it every other day for no more then a week or two. I swear it will jack you up.

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Thank you for telling me that, I’ve had a few people say that. That’s something I never knew, but totally makes sense. Before when i tried to quit and took suboxone, the craving wasn’t so bad. But this time, the craving is awful. I just had someone hit me up with cheap oxys too and its really hard to not want to go meet them

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I think getting on suboxone until you can complete a treatment program whether it be impatient or outpatient is okay. I mean some people stay on that their whole lives but it’s definitely not for everyone! It is great for people who can’t afford to be using though so maybe look into It? Just don’t get on such a high dose! Trust me when they try to seem you off you’ll regret the hell out of It! I mean suboxone saved my life technically but I got just as addicted

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It’s hard. I relapsed several times before I got to where I am. I use the opportunity of getting cheap pills as a way to make money. See what I used to spend on something so stupid and come up from it. The last week week and a half have been hard but I wont let anyone control me. So I can’t let a pill do it. My boyfriend unfortunately isn’t ready to quit. He tried then relapsed on my birthday so he didn’t feel like shit. Sucks so bad

I know how it feels. Expecially when other people hit you up, you have the money and it seems so easy. Sometimes you can even convince yourself that since you haven’t had any in a while you can have some as a “victory” but that neve works of course. I’ve “quit” more times than I can count that way. I think the biggest thing for me this time is having my boyfriend to help me when I need to say no but want to say yes

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I was on opiates for 35 years. I know it’s a hard journey, the road is real. it is paved with black tar and Stone. No one knows better than I, how bad the scars are!
How deep the wounds can be! But they are all healable and will all go away in time! You have to keep your hands busy, And your mind will follow. It is possible to leave the pills behind with all the scares, you cannot let the pill beat you into the ground! You cannot let it take your mind! With it this battle between your brain and this drug has to come to an end, you cannot let the drug win! You are stronger than a pill. Something that man has manufactured with his own will, you have to take back your power with all your skill and beat this pill. You have the power to do this you are strong. God has given you everything you need stand up and do this each and everyone of you. You can do it you have the skills and the will, there are so many worse things out there, to come if you don’t break this hold this pill has on you. Don’t you feel it? don’t you see it? when you look in the mirror in your eyes?I’ve been there! and it makes me cry when I think of you guys. out there day after day week after week five, six, seven, time I pray for you, each and every day. Every one of you that God will give you each, power and the will to walk away​:cry::cry:

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kratom will cure you of all your addictions.

Hope all is well!