When I first met the man I am now engaged to, I had alot of issues and demons in my life. He stepped in as a friend to me but was still unaware of my addiction. He was just getting out of a terrible marriage and was recently divorced and had the most precious 4 year old daughter. I fell in love with her immediately. I was struggling with addiction to opiates and needed help. In order to keep the job I had at the time I went to a detox center and got clean. I was finally free of all toxic things in my life. 3 months later I relapsed because I started hanging out with my ex again. I have a child by him and it was very hard for me not to have contact with him at the time. I was still fresh into recovery and had a lapse in judgment. Several months later I got arrested and ended up in a rehab facility for 5 months… since I have been home, with now 4 children and sober, I have found myself to be very moody and emotional. His daughter is very high strong and has behavioral problems and it is very hard for us to get along anymore. She is now 6, going on 7 in a few months and she acts out at home, acts out in school and we have her full time because her mother ran off across country and left her. That’s completely fine because I really do love this child and I want what is best for her but most days I get to the point where I cant even stand to be around her. She doesnt mind or listen half the time and it sometimes has me second guessing my sobriety. I am over 18 months clean today. Does anyone still suffer from mood swings and the inability to control emotion at this stage in recovery? I really think I need to speak to a therapist or psychiatrist because my mother was manic depressive and bipolar and I also think I may have inherited that if at all possible. Suggestions?
My other kids all mind and listen and are the sweetest kids ever. They dont try to act grown and they aren’t constantly in someone’s business. I’m struggling really hard with this. Help!!
I think it is normal to have mood swings and get frustrated when kids are acting up. Being a parent is the hardest job in the world in my opinion. It can wear on you. I remember spending the weekend with my sister. She has a 1 year old and a 3 year old and she is 100% sober. I remember thinking she needed like 12 hours of sleep and a day at the spa because she was a total bitch. Haha. But damn did I envy her because she was sober and she was setting such a good example to those kids. She was a bitch because she was being a parent and she was tired and frustrated. Its normal to feel negative emotions. They are a part of life. Instead of numbing them like we used to we have to figure out how to cope with them. For me, I try to take really deep breaths and cardio helps a lot too. Im sure others have better advice. Great job on staying sober!! I know it can be difficult at times but its always worth it.
I’d suggest getting the little girl a therapist as well. Her bio mother abandoned her and her acting out behavior could very well be because of that. She’s probably acting grown and being flippant towards you out of resentment and sadness of not seeing her mom. Just a thought. I’ve worked with children with abandonment issues and that behavior sounds familiar.
Thank you!! I really enjoyed your comment.
That’s what we have all discussed. She has all the signs of abandonment issues. She tells me sometimes that she is going to hit me or kick me in the face or hurt me and I just have to love her through it. It’s hard but if i was that child, i would want someone to love me through it. Everyone needs a little help sometimes. Thank you for your advice!