I have 3 beautiful children. 2 of my children we born during my active addiction/sickness. Long story short, all three children have different father’s. My oldest daughter father is dead from drug overdose, my son’s father is very mentally crippled from PTSD and untreated alcoholism. My youngest has a strong amazing father who loves my other two as his own. He is very supportive of my growth and sobriety and has stood by my side for the last 4 years, through my rock bottom and my rise to have 2 years and almost 8 months of sobriety.
My son’s father gets off on putting me down and throwing my past in my face. I have gone through court multiple times for custody arrangements and trying to do what’s best for my son. It’s exhausting. Being a mother in a custody battle is hard enough bit trying get to do it sober when you were a horrible monster while drinking is harder.
I feel like I could snap. All the old icky from my past is heavy on my shoulders today.