Partner doesnt know what to say

I’m newly sober. We both work in the service industry. I admitted today that I had some drinks and he walked away annoyed. I understand his annoyance, but if he acts this why then why would I admit it next time?

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I was once called out in early recovery, by a guy who I liked and trusted (still do), for always looking for a pat on the back.

When you admitted you drank, were you looking for sympathy and someone to tell you it was okay? Maybe even that you aren’t really an alcoholic?

Our alcoholism affects those closest to us, usually in a negative way. Actions have consequences. You now have the opportunity to go to him and acknowledge that you hurt him and ask what you can do to make that right. That means you cannot argue with his feelings or justify your behavior. Are you ready? Will you do this knowing it could help you to stay sober?

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I knew I made a mistake and i wanted him to know. I was hoping he’d acknowledge how hard it was to vocalise it and tell me that no one is perfect, especially this early on

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It is hard to admit. Of course no one is perfect. And you probably did not anticipate how hurt he would be by your admission.

You can stay sober. When you are sober, you have a chance to correct any hurts to yourself or others that you have caused. Sober is better.

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First, welcome to the forum…this place saved my life. Being active here will help you with your journey.

Why? Because it is our secrets that keep us from being sober. “Normal” people cannot fully grasp how hard it is for us.

Why will there be a next time? Just a question for thought. You will find a lot of advice here. Reach out if you need help

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We ultimately do not control how others react to our successes or failures in sobriety. Have you vocalized that you want more support from him?

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Welcome to community :raising_hand_woman:

Just keep being truthfull, to yourself especially.
Hope you to see you around :slightly_smiling_face:

You will find alot of us check in daily here, feel free to join us when your comfortable :blush:

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I have not had to deal with this yet, but I know if I drank again my wife would be extremely disappointed and probably have a hard time processing it. The key thing for me is I talk about my sobriety with my wife. If I have a hard moment I tell her. As I have grown in sobriety the last four months I find I’m not tempted much anymore but as you work in the service industry that is obviously difficult. Each day of sobriety is like building a suit of armor (I use a lot of metaphors for sobriety lol). Every day you are sober you grow stronger over your addiction. This lapse isn’t the end of your journey, but it is a moment for reflection and learning. Be patient with your partner, like others have said your addiction affects them also. They only want what’s best for you and to have the best version of the person they love. My wife is a huge motivator for me, I imagine what my life would look like without her and that’s enough to terrify me from drinking again. I tell her often she saved my life the day we met because the last 5 years I’ve slowly emerged as a better person versus the POS I was when I drank and slept around thinking I didn’t have much to live for.

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