I live with my sister and she’s throwing a party this weekend for her birthday at our house. I can’t miss it and can’t avoid it. There’s gonna be a lot of alcohol available and I worried that I might get tempted. What do you guys do when when your in a social situation like that to keep from drinking? I’d like to be in there to celebrate with her and our friends but it’s gonna be a real test for my sobriety.
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You don’t have to be there. I know if feels like you do, but what is more important, your sobriety or your sister’s feelings?
Edit: I am putting money where my mouth is. I am currently in Las Vegas, my wife is at a party RIGHT NOW at “On the Record” (a music themed club I’dlove nothing more than to go), she invited me to go, but I don’t want to risk my sobriety, so I am hanging out in the room, alone.
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if your relationship with your sister is good enough that you live with her i am sure you can make it up to her that you can’t be at a party
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You have choices and you can choose to put your sobriety first. Make plans to go out by yourself for the evening. Go to a movie or something else to keep busy so you don’t get FOMO.
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What an awesome example! 
I’ve been to Vegas sober. I wasn’t comfortable in the casinos with them handing out free drinks. It worked out well. I didn’t lose any money. There is so much to do there besides drink and gamble. I had a great time.
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Not to derail, but yeah! Food, shows, roller coasters, museums!! There’s so much to do!! Tomorrow I’m getting a massage, then checking out Meow Wolf and then dinner at Spago. Good sober fun!
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Good of you Dan! 
And what a magnificient view you have! 
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I would skip that party 
Explain it to your sister and she would understand. There will be plenty of other parties to go to when you have more sober time. For now it’s better to guard your sobriaty strongly.
Maybe stay with a friend for a few days?
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If you’re feeling it’s not a good idea then you shouldn’t go. Your sister should also be supportive of your choices of wanting to avoid temptation. You can always do a separate bday outing for her that doesn’t involve alcohol. Best of luck
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I went to my first party that I felt I couldn’t miss at 1.5 months sober. It was a party to celebrate the life of one of my friends after his death, with his family and our group of friends from school. It wasn’t at my house but I helped organise it and it meant a lot to me to be there.
The things I remember helping me most were buying fancy mocktail ingredients so I had nice drinks, going with a friend who is a light drinker who agreed to be my sober buddy, and having a good reason to get up early in the morning hangover free. At that point I’d also done many, many, many hours of reading through the forum and felt like I had a good handle on my relationship with alcohol and my reasons for staying sober.
Of course everyone who’s already commented is absolutely correct, we do feel like we have to go to these things, but we really don’t! I am glad I went to that party because I did feel ready, but I was also nervous about what to say to people and how it would go. But that’s your choice to make on whether you feel the same. If you are really worried that you will drink, and you really don’t want to drink, finding somewhere else to be for the evening is absolutely a reasonable option.
Some observations I have gathered over the last few years of going to parties sober:
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Lots of people drink a lot less than I used to. I knew I drank a lot, but I kind of assumed everyone did. Nope! Some people actually drink slowly, just have a couple, and stop before they get sloppy.
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Quite a few people stay for an hour or two and then leave. They have shit to do the next day. They aren’t big drinkers. They aren’t having as much fun as they thought they might. Whatever. They just leave! It’s fine, no one minds. When I was drinking, I never really noticed this. Maybe I made some noise about it when people left early but I soon forgot all about it and just carried on with the people who were still there.
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Drunk people can be fun at first but can also get pretty boring pretty quick. You know the stories that aren’t really that funny the first time. Wait til you’ve heard them three or four times
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Some people just bring so much drama when they are drunk. Situations can blow up over nothing. I know I used to get in the middle of those situations and probably often made them worse.
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If I am going to have fun at a party, I don’t need alcohol to do it. If I am not having fun, it’s not for me. It’s definitely an adjustment to make and FOMO is a hard thing to deal with. But being sober has made me more comfortable with being who I am and doing what I want.
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If I need alcohol to make people seem interesting, then they probably aren’t my people. Again an adjustment and can be sad letting some friendships go. But on the other hand I have learned who my real friends are and get to properly enjoy spending time with them. And making memories that I actually remember! No relying on blurry photographs and phone history to piece together what might have happened.
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I am yet to attend a party where my presence or absence is the crucial factor that will determine whether it’s a success or not. I have missed important occasions due to schedule clashes, sickness, etc. It’s a shame, but it’s not the end of the world. Just make it up another time, send a gift or card, etc. So why do we feel like we can’t make the choice to avoid an event to protect our sobriety, which after all is protecting our health and our sanity! Our friends and family might be disappointed, but if they care for us they will understand
I could go on, but I think that’s more than enough 
Welcome to the forum!
Lots more helpful info and links here:
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