So, there’s been a lot of hurt feelings on here lately. I was really thinking about it a lot today. I had a boss one time that sat me down and asked me to define why I became a Chiropractor. He kept pushing me until I figured it out. I went into healthcare because of my testimony of Christ.
This is not a religious post, btw. Christ heals people of their hurts. I became a doctor so that I can vicariously stand in the place of Christ to relieve suffering. That’s one of the reasons I was drawn to this forum. It’s a place of healing.
We are all broken people. There are lots of backgrounds, but all of them have one thing in common, we were in chains. And we couldn’t break them on our own. We required support. That’s what makes this place so amazing.
I believe that one of the reasons that we as humans have survived amongst each other without going extinct like the dodos, is because of Hope. No, not @Hope0110, I mean the desire for something good to come out of your life and those around you.
Humanity’s hope has driven us to succeed. We are all here because we needed help. I’m here because I needed help. I was about to lose my wife and children. I appreciate everything that I’ve received here. I’m so glad that I am able to help with that.
We’re all trying to help. Some may not be able to express themselves the right way. Some are just broken people frustrated with life, the world, addiction, etc. Let’s be empathetic towards each other. We can offer support. Sometimes that support can be tough love. But, that doesnt need to be us hurting feelings. What’s the scripture say? Reproving betimes, but then showing an increase in love.
My final thoughts, let’s listen to the wise words of Rob Thomas.
Thank you for this my friend.
United we stand. Divided we fall…
I liken us to a box of matches. I give you 1 you can break it. 2 ,3, maybe 5.
I give you 50 no way. I know no one who can break 50 at once.
If we pull together. Our disease can not break us.
But we must be United. We can express opinions. Feelings, etc. But we can’t fight or bicker We fall apart. We become divided. We are then broken…
I arrived broken I have no desire to go back there.
Your Friend in sobriety John
I love you and your tremendous heart, Rob.
Thanks! I was listening to the song and just thinking of how we could get it back to good. We are all to blame he said, and it’s true. We are all sucky addicts that have caused untold devastation in our lives. But, it doesnt have to be that way.
Faith, Hope, Charity, and Love. That’s what we all need right now. A little of that will change TS into an incredible force for good.
Yes. Thank you! I have also been doing some introspection and looking at some of the things I have been saying and deciding if they have been helpful or hurtful. It was something that @anon46927530 said that really stuck with me and I’ve decided to err on the side of compassion and love rather than sarcasm and bashing. Peace, friend.
Yeah, I’ve decided that literally anything we say can be said from a place of compassion. Even if its telling someone to cut the s*** and shape up. You can express your hope for them and desire to see them succeed.
You know how to do it with tact. Yours comes from a place of compassion not arrogance. I respect that
I couldn’t agree more. Compassion and empathy are so important for all of us in all aspects of our life. The latest threads on bashing, etc showcase again the need for compassion and tolerance…something that comes up consistently on here. Sarcasm and banter are often used as coping mechanisms when we are unable to access our feelings…something to consider.
I would love to see people open their hearts a little bit more. I believe we are all doing the best we can where we are at, right now. Compassion raises all of us higher.
Ram Dass said it well, “We are all just walking eachother home.”
MB20? Wise Words? IDK Doc. IDK.
Hahahaha. No love for matchbox.
I get that. One of the reasons that many of my friends are jumping on these people is because of the traumas they’ve experienced in the past. They have had friends die because of addiction. It’s a time being of the essence situation. We cant predict when the next drink with get you into a wreck that kills a family, when the next hit will be an OD, or when your family will finally have enough of your s*** and drop you.
I happen to love MB20! Rob Thomas is the man, and this song applied perfectly to the situation!
Indeed, but many of us have lost family and friends to addiction and are still compassionate to others.
We deal with our traumas differently. All I can say is that we need to be compassionate and understanding to everyone. Even the people who are getting in fights
Tough love came about academically roughly around 1967. If i was home i could get you the man and the book. It was a theory on how to deal with the “hard ones”. Addicts, unruly childeren, the fringe that just wouldn’t listen. It was almost an opposite reaction to the “softening of society” at the time. It was a term, and a therapy that was latched onto by the “hardline” side of society. It flourished, a term we still use today. Early on it showed promising results and an effective tool. What we have found, true tough love was never, statistically a stand alone treatement. Those that it “helped” usually, come to find out had a network that used other methods. Pyschologists, both that swayed liberally or conservatively eventually found it had detrimental effects.
What we have found that works is the basic truth, not coated with sugar, told in a factual, clinical type fashion. Followed by and with a compasion for actually helping the individual on the level that they are currently at. Are there those that true tough love in its earliest meaning still works, of course. However, its a narrow part of society at large.