I have ‘the’ big annual red carpet function coming up this weekend. I’m at day 21 right now. It’s basically a big ball with champagne and wine galore for a bunch of locals in their 40’s. Ubers are even provided to guests. My husband and friends have been talking about it nonstop. I offered to be the designated driver and was met with how ridiculous that we would pay so much money to attend and not drink. Why drive when you can ride with us! We have champs in the limo. Grrrr…we don’t go out much at all (ever) so this is a real treat for us. Husband is expecting that I’ll take a one day break to ‘enjoy’ the evening.
I’ve debated how to navigate the social scene and pressure…pretend to drink, just have a few (as if), be stern, fake illness, etc. I haven’t announced a new lifestyle yet bc no one knows that I have a problem as I would just enjoy my wine quietly at home every night. Any tips? Trying to keep a handy list in case of emergency.
21 days just doesn’t feel quite long enough to reap the benefits of being sober and truly understanding what it feels like to be me yet. I JUST got over the exhaustion stage and am starting to perk up with lots of coffee. Baristas know my name and order. All my money goes to Starbucks now. Will deal with that another time!
Opal is right! I have to deal with with my husband’s friends and “social standing” for events like this. I used to make the excuses “I’m on antibiotica, my tummy is bothering me” etc. And now I don’t bother. I have gone along and said that 1) I just don’t feel like drinking or 2) I’ll have a drink when I get there and NEVER DO because everybody is already drunk when they get there and guess what? The don’t care. They’re only worried about their own buzz. I get a mocktal, drink water, enjoy the great food and feel great when I hit the pillow that night. I know it seems like a huge deal at the moment. I wish I could make that frustration go away for you, but just know that in reality, not many people are even going to notice. Hang in there!
If you decide to go, tell them whatever you feel works best for you. I like @me_me_me suggestion saying to them that you’ll have a drink when you get there. Maybe bring a clear spakling drink with you to pour in your champagne for a toasting glass for the limo ride there? Ha, toast with them to your sobriety in your heart and enjoy the evening.
Sounds like a real honest talk might be in order with your husband about your goal, which sounds like it is sobriety? Perhaps if he knew it meant a lot to you he would not be quite so lackadaisical about having a few. I know for me, once I let folks know that I would not be drinking they backed off. I don’t care how fancy an event is, my sobriety, health, self respect and emotional well being are WAY more important than 1 night at a ball. I would hate to see you fall down that slippery slope of ‘rewarding’ yourself by drinking…it is NOT a treat…far from it. Stick up for yourself and enjoy some sparkling water, good food and dancing…sober…you won’t regret how good you feel in the morning.
