I have come to a point where the tip toeing around me could kill me sobriety. I also not care for the praise for deciding to what I should have done years ago.
Just treat me normal!
There’s a convenient stores and liquor stores within walking distance in every direction. If I wanted to drink, I’d drink.
Sweet guy I just organically met is nervous he’ll tempt me when he takes me out. Don’t offer me a beer, but understand if I did take a drink at any point in the future it was my decision, not anything any one did or said.
My choice to stop was to find some normalcy in my life.
Please let me try to be normal…
100 days fell on the hardest day of the week!
Milestones come with reflection, reflection comes with gratitude and some more grief to detox.
How does an alcoholic tell people who are not alcoholics how bad they just want to be normal?
While I get your overall point Christine - and yes it’s annoying and exhausting and disturbing or worse to feel different and feel others don’t get it or whatever - nothing but you can kill your sobriety. What others do doesn’t matter. You even say so yourself, later down in your post.
My advice would be get some mental distance between you, your sobriety and how you think others perceive you and how they think about you.
Maybe a mild case of the milestone malady, my lady? I get those. Take a breath. You’re doing awesome. I remember my 100th day and so will you for the rest of your life if you keep on doing what you’re doing. Rock on, lady. And perhaps take it easy today.
Yeah I feel this for sure. I reckon its one of those things where the longer we keep at being sober and become confident in our sobriety, the less of a thing it will be because it stops being so defining for us.
I’m only on day 41 so I’ve been dealing with this for the first time recently. First it was with a very close friend, the other was my folks. In both cases they planned on abstaining themselves. Both times I immediately put a stop to that and proudly proclaimed, “this is my problem, not yours. Don’t change who you are just because I’m here.” I quickly found out that my friends and family simply didn’t know how to act. It’s just as new to them as it for me and I can’t blame them. Things quickly went back to normal after I gave them the green light to do what they always do.
This is exactly what I told the guy I have a date with. I said, “please just be yourself. If you want a beer, have a beer. It doesn’t bother me.” I really like the guy. I worry he’s going to be so uncomfortable that the possibility of a relationship will not happen. I know, if it doesn’t it’s probably for the best.
Try a little humor. If he opens a beer clutch your pearls and do declare you just got tipsy from the whiff lol then laugh and then ask "Is that what you were afraid would happen? Something new. It’s Not a big deal to you so let him see it go girl.
For me it was real apparent I had a problem to everyone around me lol from my friends to my coworkers! I started drinking at work! In the mornings when I would go out I was already smashed so then I was obnoxious and embarrassed myself and my hubby! I was not a pretty or fun drunk at the end of my drinking days! But now I feel I’m an inspiration to those of my friends who are thinking wow if Missy could stop drinking maybe there’s hope for them! The only ones who tipped toed around me at the beginning where my kids and that was out of respect! All I can say to you is keep on keeping on and do it happy joyous and free
My mom was that way about pills with me like if I knew she had them then I’d want them too. Yes, the old me did but now I strive to stay sober and refuse to take anything other then Tylenol or Ibuprofen. You should tell him how you feel maybe that would make him feel more comfortable.
I just let folks act how they’re gonna act. Can’t say I blame them.
Meanwhile, I just don’t drink and hope time takes care of the rest.
My own best normie friend didn’t drink around me a little while at first. Now he’s more at ease and might have a beer like he used to. Thoughtful? Totally.
I’ll take that over the friends who tried telling me I didn’t have a problem and needed to drink with them. The friends I no longer hang out with!
I can see the view of this post but I have talked about this with friends and what I’ve noticed for me atleast, is people are trying to just be considerate. When we make a decision to sober up we change as a person and as everyone know those first couple months we tend to have short fuses. So I think people don’t want to do anything to set you off, they just don’t know how to act around us because we could be the first person they’ve encountered who is trying to stay sober.
It was a great date. He had a few beers, I drank water the entire time. I was overly nervous, and thankfully it subsided with time. There’s so much to learn while navigating a new and improved lifestyle, but so damn worth the work. Lately I can’t stop thinking about how I wish I’d done this so long ago. But, I keep moving forward because I’m so in love with who I’m becoming. I couldn’t and wouldn’t be where I am today without this group!! Thank you’ll!
I get those. Take a breath. You’re doing awesome. I remember my 100th day and so will you for the rest of your life if you keep on doing what you’re doing. Rock on, lady. And perhaps take it easy today.
go girl.