The closest I can get to a higher power is what I like to call ‘The Clarity Concept’. I fall into the group of people who had ‘a moment’ - I was homeless, I’d just woken up and for the first time in forever I had a moment of clarity where everything just made sense. I dont search for these moments nor do I look to them for support or help but I do get them on a daily basis and they’re the moments I make the best calculated decisions based on reason, logic and evidence. And I often only realise it in hindsight, not so much in the moment.
It’s definitely a headfuck for an atheist to accept the idea of a ‘Higher Power’ because the term itself does stink of God. Im an atheist and I can’t accept the idea of a ‘God’ but I do accept that if I switch the word ‘power’ for ‘control’ it makes a lot more sense.
Can you honestly say that you have control over your addiction? I certainly can’t. I dont think theres anyone here who can. If you separate your addiction from yourself and personify it or give it a character, what would It look like? Mine would look a lot like those depictions of Satan in the goat form and absolutely huge - theres no way I could control it but if I’m stood in front of my Addiction-Satan-Goat, with a sober minded moment of clarity, I would be able to walk away from it knowing I can control myself.
I came in completely divorced from listening to anything but myself and finally ready to admit that was a big part of the problem. Weirdly I also knew that barrier of not feeling comfortable with anything else. I got the same suggestion as @MoCatt’s old sponsor.
This group of drunks. They got sober when i couldn’t, so they had something figured out I didn’t. A power greater than me.
Could I put my faith in them? Could I follow their example even (and especially) when I didn’t believe it at first or didn’t want to? That takes trust.
One upon a time I had been more spiritual than that, though always rather agnostic. That slowly came back as I went through the steps. Faith and trust in the motion of it all and others.
That HP is Life, the Universe and Everything. Lue is all around us, constantly moving. The common and immutable vastness of all that flows whether I’m with it or not, inviting me to join in.
When I hear “God” now it’s just short hand for whatever that thing is. Some mean the literal Christian God and that’s fine. Many call it something else.
I’m sure someone already said this, but I see the higher power as the conscious good of the herd. Particularly my friends and family, and our social bonds. I see it as the collective wants of my people.
After reading what everyone else wow I’m feeling even more confused, I guess.
I suppose I’m left wondering if I have a higher power at all. I do not in any way consider myself to be all powerful but I don’t think of there being any force of like greater good in the universe. I do not believe in an invisible, judgemental, man I’m the sky for sure. I believe in the mental-healing benefits of meditation and mantras but I’m not so sure I would go so far as to call that a higher power. That’s just using the mind to help rewire the synapse connections in the brain. I do feel a deep connection to nature when I’m sitting by a stream or waterfall. But I agree that that would be hard to call a higher power.
One reason I don’t go to most AA meetings is similar to a few of the responses I’ve seen in this thread. “I don’t believe in God but I’m religious and that’s fine for the people I talk to.” But I wouldn’t even consider myself even somewhat religious and that does run most people the wrong way. I believe in chaos and serenity, and finding a comfortable medium. I think that’s why I love waterfalls. The water had to have a lot of chaos, it gets a hard landing, but then it joins the stream and just goes with the flow.
I have often wondered if Science can be considered a higher power. I feel like there’s probably some definition of what a higher power is supposed to do for you according to AA that I haven’t read. But yeah someone pointed me in the direction of this thread so I figured I’d put my 2cents in.
I am the same as you when it comes to religion. I dont believe in any of it - no God, no afterlife, no anything. Just us on a rock spinning through space. I dont find it scary at all in the same way I dont find it scary when the sun sets. It’s just how it is.
But the reason I asked the question in the OP is because I feel like there might be something else I can consider my higher power and I think I’m starting to see there is, and that is science, in particular soft science.
I’m not a particularly scientifically minded person but I can get behind the idea that people do the the things they do because that is just how brains work. As much as I like to think I am a unique snowflake, my last few months in therapy have proven to me that what I thought were very personalised problems that only I had are common things that are so prevalent that entire branches of psychology exist to deal with it!
I am still formulating my ideas around this so it’s not water tight, but I’m starting to feel like my higher power might be the knowledge that no matter what dark place my brain takes me, any other people have gone through this exact thing too. I am not alone.
Not as catchy or clean as being able to pray to a God, but I’m starting to think it might work for me.
Thanks everyone who has answered in this thread for helping me start to work towards this idea.
Ive never been to an AA meeting but there have been times ive needed a higher power!! Higher power to me is faith. Not in god, but faith in the Universe, the air, the fact that so much ‘just happens’, and faith that every thing will be ok, no matter what does happen. Everything that needs to be dealt with, will be dealt with…We are our own masters, I have faith in myself (this is not a constant tho, I cannot lie) I think ‘higher power’ can mean ‘belief’ that what you want to be, not only will be, but actually is. You’re willingness to trust you are doing the right thing by becoming sober, that is your higher power!
I have no idea if that makes sense, I’m not very articulate
Good to see that this thread has helped you
The basic way I see it is that we haven’t been doing a great job on our own so we have to put our faith in something to guide us. Even if it is just the AA chip I carry in my pocket.
So you could, maybe, in a way describe your hp as a G roup O f D runks?
Over the months I’ve been on here this topic has come up so many times. Usually with the same point to be made " I don’t do AA because I don’t believe in God".
And so starts the whole conversation again.
You don’t need to believe in God.
You just need to have a desire to stop drinking.
I’m sure that we are all old enough to be able to let a little talk about a “fictitious being” not get in the way of helping us recover.
In my opinion too much time is wasted discussing this topic when all we have to do is have an open mind!
Be open minded towards anything that can help get us out of the mess WE have made of our lifes
All this talk of “I’m not doing this because of this” smacks of addict talk.
When I first started I was told that my life would change and to be open minded to try anything.
Anything.
So I was and I did.
Ultimately though these are all just tools to help, the main focus has to be down to us as individuals to change our life, our way of thinking, our mindset.
If you love something and it brings out the best in you or makes you calmer happier more helpful peaceful connected the list goes on… Then that is your GOD its no surprise to me that dog spelt backwards is God because my dogs thought me how to love how to connect with others how to connect with nature… All the things that I lost through active addiction. Hope this helps fellow traveler
It’s threads like these that make me thankful that I have faith and belief in God. I know God and Satan exist, for I have seen both of their works. I wasn’t a born believer. I am quite skeptical by nature. I grew to believe through personal experience and observation. I can see why others don’t believe, as we are to a large degree, the sum of our experiences. Different experiences yield different beliefs.
I hope the OP finds their higher power, that something larger than self. When I consider what my life would be without mine, I am ever more grateful. As always, your mileage may vary.
This sounds awesome. Also, you don’t need to have something “watertight”. My approach has evolved With time and continues to change. Relax and roll with it.
I love this topic! And I can’t give you a simple answer to that question. I don’t believe that there is a bearded guy sitting on a cloud who manages everything everywhere. I think it’s more some kind of energy.
When we pray, something awesome happens like @aircircle said right, it can be overwhelming.
I see and feel my HP in my intuition, in music, arts, dance, colours, love, nature, the universe…
Since I learned to listen and / or to see the signs (there are no coincidences) my life changed.
My first sponsor described God in this way. Something loving, caring and greater than yourself. I feel more comfortable in the traditional God sense myself (though I don’t prescribe to any organized religion) but the possibilities are literally endless when it comes to a higher power. My first rehab I picked a star that I would ‘pray’ to each night because it was something tangible that I could see with my own eye. It had it’s spot in the night sky so I knew where to find it each night. Though I did not stay sober after that rehab I often think of that star.
