How do you cope when everyone you looked up to as a kid is dying ppl you thought would always be there and seemed so strong almost as if they were bullet proof honestly I’m shattered rn but knowing my old way of coping won’t work anymore it’s so fucking hard to do what’s expected of me when my life is literally falling aprt
8 Likes
To cope reaching out here is one way. Accepting events especially loss is alway hard for most. Accepting and focusing on good memories is best course of action. Would returning to alcohol or drugs change anything? You will I promise feel so much better staying sober. Sending you love and positive thoughts!
8 Likes
Im so sorry @Daggy86 loss and grief is tricky but learn from those who have gone thru it before and stayed sober. Maybe you could share more here
3 Likes
1 death is fucking rough but 3 in almost a week is deadset unbearable
5 Likes
And I know it won’t change anything except my the way I feel but only for a second guessing this is what we slmeab when we say life on life’s terms
3 Likes
Sending thoughts to you. I cannot imagine what you must be going through, though I do understand the overwhelm of tremendous grief and the piling on of what felt like (in my own way, though not in such a rapid time frame) one hit after the other.
Drinking didnt help, it made things worse. But my head was underwater, a coil tightened so tight like I could explode and it was difficult to find people to talk to who I felt understood. Most people did not, though in the end I found specifically understanding what i had been through didnt matter as much as people understanding why it was hard to cope. So many people here can understand and relate to that, and relate to the feeling we have of wanting to drink or use when we cant cope.
Youre in the sharp phase of grief, and its going to be sharp around you as I imagine those around you too are also grieving. Give yourself some leeway in pther areas, just not drinking or using. If you have access to it, maybe try therapy or connecting with a peer group for loss grief (I believe the peer groups are generally free), connect here and hang on. Let yourself feel like hell, because thats okay. And then when its time, it will be time for life to start shaping around your new reality…but its not that time now. Just hang on.
Sendinf you so much love through this. Xo.
3 Likes
hugs to you.
2 Likes
Thanx everyone for the thoughts and kinds words as bad as it all seems now I will never go back to the old ways recovery sux so hard at times but the good times do outweigh the bad even if it doesn’t feel that way now
7 Likes
It’s a very rough road your on right now. Grief zaps the heart and soul like no other. I understand what you are going through, 2020 wasn’t the best year for me and it truly tested my sobriety. I was my dad’s caregiver for the last 6 years of his life, colon cancer and dementia, I lost him on the first of January, 2020 and then I lost my oldest son 9-16-20 
This place is great for support, we’re just a text message away 
prayers, hugs and love hun:pray:
6 Likes
The last 7 years lost my two older brothers and my identical twin brother my fav cousin and my dear old Aunt at 101 and 6months old plus a few close friends in AA sad times but life goes on still have the memories and went through a grieving prosses but i had to accept that these things happen and i knew there was help at hand in my home group and close friends and family .
2 Likes
Dad died last year ruined me he died fighting off the alcohol can’t lie and say I stayed sober I got fucked uo day he died but next day it still hurt liqour don’t fix it even on the juice I felt the same as sober sad , time heals untill you have some heal oknyou stay busy legos puzzles gym walks park anything chores whatever stay busy so you don’t have time to drink make yourself stay busy until your tired
3 Likes