I am starting to create goals for myself like getting in shape, eating better, and learning german and new stuff
The planning part i am pretty good at, i suck at executing the plan 
I am working on the executing part and hopefully i will be able to achieve any of them, but i have to stay clean to keep a healthy brain that can achieve
hi its my first time joining in this group but thank you got sharing your thoughts about porn addiction
since in my country they normalize it but for me it was a big deal for me it steal my joy and gaves me so many negative sides than positive like withdrawal and lost of interest to woman in healthy attraction but more drawn to lust i was relapsing at 2nd week and now i cant pass day 1 but this gaves me a hope if anyone can do it i can do it also
Keep checking in and keep piling up the days.
Getting to 2 weeks is amazing and you can do it again.
The negative feelings and withdrawals that you feel, write them all down and come back to them every couple of days and read them so you know never to go back to this addiction.
The brain is plastic and with enough time away from this addiction, it will get better.
thank you can i ask something does streak days actually work? since if i count the days of i was clean and i relapse i felt really bad about it how to bounce back in a relapse?
i try easy peazy method it sinks in with me for 5 days but i go back to pmo i miss the lesson there that it needs consistency to fully solidify in my subconcious mind that pmo was harmful for me
Bouncing back after a relapse is to fill your time with other things. It doesn’t have to be stressful things. Just something to pass the time here and there.
Also remember it is okay to relax. You don’t always have to be doing something.
For me, when I get an urge, I find walking outdoors helps. By the time I’m done walking, the urge is gone.
Also for me personally, the first few days after a bad relapse are okay to stay away as I’m going through the negative feelings and withdrawals.
It’s when I pass a few weeks that I need to stay vigilant.
I have a strict routine that I try and abide by but I don’t follow it all the time. One is no phone in my bedroom when I’m coming to sleep.
I place it another room in the house and then come to my bedroom to sleep. I don’t always do this, but I try to when I can remember to.
Besides that I have a daily checklist. Morning prayer, morning walk (this can include walking to work), lunch time walk, online meeting (not daily but at least once a week or I make a call to my friend), night time prayer, mark my calendar with a happy face if it was a good day, or a sad face if it was a bad day of sorts.
That’s it, then sleep and repeat.
Remember also when your brain is telling you to watch pornography, it’s not actually the porn or whatever that you are actually after. Your brain just wants that dopamine hit. It’s all about the chemicals and dopamine. It comes in many forms, and our drug is lust. The less you give in, the more your brain will learn that it’s okay to be bored, or stressed, or anything without running to dopamine.
Keep it up.
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
Alhamdulillah, today marks Day 16 without porn or masturbation, and I’m genuinely grateful for the progress Allah has allowed me to make.
A few weeks ago, I opened up to my girlfriend about my addiction. I told her that I wanted to be completely transparent with her and that I did not want to hide things from her. I’m grateful that I’ve been able to keep that promise. Since then, I’ve noticed a real improvement in our communication, trust, and overall connection.
We have also started finding healthier ways to spend time together. Yesterday, for example, we had what we now call a “book night.” We called each other on WhatsApp, I shared my screen, and we read together before going to bed. Afterwards, we did some quizzes about love, communication, and trust, and discussed our answers. I also read some Qur’an to her. It was simple, but it was meaningful, and it reminded me that intimacy and connection can be built through many different things.
Something else I’ve been reflecting on is the difference between real intimacy and pornography. Spending genuine time with another person has made me realise that relationships require effort, patience, communication, vulnerability and energy. Real connection is work—but it is also beautiful and rewarding.
I’ve also learned something important about recovery: there are no shortcuts to growth.
Yesterday, I came across a passage that really stayed with me. It described someone who forgot to water a seed for three weeks. When he panicked, he tried to compensate by flooding the soil with water and adding a huge amount of fertiliser. He wanted to “cram” for the harvest as though growth were an exam. Instead, he drowned the plant and damaged its roots.
The lesson was simple:
You can cram for an exam, but you cannot cheat the soil. There are no shortcuts to harvest.
That really spoke to me about recovery.
We cannot neglect ourselves for weeks, months or years and then expect one massive burst of effort to repair everything immediately. Recovery is built through steady, daily acts of care.
You care for yourself daily.
You care for your relationships daily.
You care for your work and your responsibilities daily.
You care for your goals daily.
You keep showing up.
The same principle applies to recovery. We build our foundation one day at a time. We don’t bypass the rules of growth.
Sixteen days may not sound like a lifetime, but for me, it represents Sixteen days of choosing differently. Sixteen days of showing up. Sixteen days of learning. Sixteen days of being more honest with myself and with someone I love.
I’m grateful for every one of those days.
This morning, I’ve been working for several hours and I’m feeling tired, so I’m going to get some rest, even if it’s only for 30 minutes, and then continue with my day. I’ve read Qur’an, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to keep moving forward.
Alhamdulillah for Day 16.
I’m not trying to rush the harvest anymore.
I’m learning to water the seed every day.
One day at a time.
Bismillah…
Proud of you for finding your way.
