Thank you. Doing better today. Will be at Day 7 tomorrow. Just doing my chores around the house today and then hoping to get out for a nice evening stroll around the neighbourhood tonight.
How are you doing? Thanks
Thank you. Doing better today. Will be at Day 7 tomorrow. Just doing my chores around the house today and then hoping to get out for a nice evening stroll around the neighbourhood tonight.
How are you doing? Thanks
Hi, good to hear things are getting better. I’m back at work after summer holiday. I spent most of it visiting friends and family with Hubby. Almost 2000 km / 1200 mi in 2 weeks but it was lovely and blessed time.
Right now, I’m craving cheese
Always loved cheese.
Glad to hear that you had a great summer.
2000 km in 2 weeks. Sounds like you went to a lot places and that’s amazing. That’s what summer is all about.
We did about a 6 hour road trip with the family too. We all had a great time.
Have a nice week!
I’m sat in bed, winding down for the night, suddenly hear the neighbours having s*x.
Feels triggering as f*ck.
I shut my window and came here just to try and snap out of it.
What do I feel? Urges to open the window back up and have a good ol’ listen in, act out etc… Sadness that I don’t have someone who I can love and make love with. Probably a bit of jealousy creeping in there too.
I’m gonna have to open the window again at some point because it is absolutely roasting and I don’t want to sweat my nuts off, but hopefully the neighbours will be done by the time I go to sleep! ![]()
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I’m curious if you made it through that night?
I did
thanks for asking, how are u?
Hm I thought I replied to a post by rich 369
sorry I thought you were talking to me haha
I am sorry, it is a deeply ingrained addiction, you need some support, there is loads here. Do feel free to dm me ![]()
Hey there,
I’m sober for about a month, so now the real struggle begins, as my urges usually start about a month in. I had thoughts of watching some porn after I’ve had a fight with my wife a few days back, but thankfully I didn’t.
I want to wish everyone that’s on the same journey good luck, strength and hope because one day, we will be free!
Guys, i feel like i am back sliding a bit. I feel like i am abstaining for so long that i am getting comfortable and i am forgetting what it took to get here. Help me remember all the days i had to fight urges, days i had to just keep busy constantly, etc.
I’ve started looking on social media for women in skimpy clothing again
Help me realize that is just a step away from looking at actual porn. Help me realize doing this will lead me back to looking at porn.
Looking at women sexualizing themselves on social media is basically soft core porn.
It still activates those pathways. The seek and search ones. Seeking for the right woman to oogle. Even if you don’t MO to her. It’s still greasing the mental pathways that Porn wants you to activate.
maybe i just can’t be trusted to have the facebook app on my phone.
What’s makes matters worse is I think there is now facebook groups that are posting images and videos on A.I generated woman. So they look perfectly shaped, etc.
It’s fake. I need to remember pixels on a screen is fake attraction
it wires me to be attracted to pixels on a screen rather than be attracted to a real life woman.
and it can lead me to having p.i.e.d, which would be bad to have when i have a real woman in the future
I’m like a mouse falling for imitation cheese because it looks better then the actual cheese but them i get caught in a trap.
Time to take a step back. Taking an honest look into your life might help. Are you bored, stressed, anxious etc? Are you running away from something? What about your internal dialogue? Can you track back from your current thoughts, like “I can look a little”, “what harm would it do” or “I can handle myself”. These are little lies coming from a fortress of lies. Find your fortress.
Please never forget how your life was in active addiction. You were a slave to lust. You exploited the people you were lusting after. Porn industry relies on exploitation and sex trafficking. When we watch porn, we take part in it.
You’re more than your addiction. Your life is worth more. Please stay on the straight and narrow.
I’m day sober from masturbation, phone sexting, dating app I finally deleted my instagram account
I’ve learned something over the years. That it’s not what I do, but rather what goes on in my brain when I’m doing it. The truth is that I can turn a lot of things into porn. I can take a church filled with wives, and turn it into porn. Then one can lock me up in a dark closet blindfolded, and I can still take my fantasies and turn them into porn. While the hit may not be exactly the same intensity as viewing porn, I’m still getting that same hit. While porn clearly brings my brain’s toxicity level to 10. My fantasies and looks of lust can bring me all up to toxicity level 8. And that’s too hot for me.
I recognized that if I was ever going to beat this, it was not going to be enough for me to stop some behaviors. I was going to have to demonstrate sober of mind along with my behavior. Saying no to that first thought or first look seemed a daunting and impossible task for me.
Yet I finally chose an easier path. Which do you think is easier for me to do?
To give myself permission to check out all the church girls without lusting, or to simply not give myself permission to look altogether?
Is it easier for me to allow my eyes and mind to roam wherever I please without restraint raising my toxicity level so that I’m continually white knuckling myself to stay away from porn, or is it just easier for me not to give myself permission to have that first look or thought?
I’ve discovered that, for me, cleaning up my inside (lust and fantasy) so that my outside would be clean (porn and MB) was a whole lot easier than to clean up my outside hoping that some of that cleanliness might rub off on the inside.
This has taken a lot of practice and conditioning. I’m intrinsically motivated because of my desire to embrace a realistic paradigm and to heal from my unhealthy shame. Yet I don’t do this perfectly. But I believe that if I win more battles than I lose with lust, I will win this war. It’s when I lose battle after battle after battle with lust, that’s when I’ll lose the war.
This. This is the heart of our recovery. Without this understanding there is only white knuckling.
Thanks for sharing
I can relate to this very much. That’s been some of my experiences when actively lusting. Something as simple as a nice smelling perfume as a women walks by in public can be a trigger for me. It’s that intentional restraint not to give in that’s a difference maker for me.
I can relate to a lot of your story
Finally broke that addictive spell that makes me fall every three days
I’m day 3 sober from Masturbation, Dating Apps, Phone Sexting, Sexting, Social media
I’m day 6 sober from Porn.
I relapsed today to Porn. I looked at porn on youtube. Yes it can be on there if you turn off restricted mode. I tell myself it’s not as bad as going to a porn site because you usually don’t see vaginas or sex on there. It doesn’t make it okay to look on there because it doesn’t have sex on there.
It’s just so easy to turn off restricted mode. I use youtube all the time to watch other things so the thought of removing the app from my phone sounds tough.
i think i mostly use it to learn: about the world, life, etc.
i suppose i could probably only use it on my computer and maybe it would be harder to turn off restricted mode on their with all the filters i have set up.
i’m struggling to convince myself to not masturbate because i have this irrational thought that if i go so far to look at porn i might as well release and MO too, but i think not doing that keeps me keeping some discipline/integrity intact.
What should i do when i am left home alone?
It seems like i am most triggered lately when home alone.
What happened was i was watching TV with lunch and thought i am home alone i could see what naughty stuff is on youtube. It was like i was on auto pilot. Like a program was running in my mind. Situation A: Home alone happened, which triggered Situation B: look at naughty stuff.
maybe i could prepare to be more busy when i know i will be home alone. Or when i get triggered that i should stop and go for a walk or do some push ups.
Because doesn’t a trigger only last for like 6 mins or something.
Like i need just have to get through the thought that it is even an option to PMO.
Edit:
I MO’d later.
i guess i kind of felt too wired to not MO. Like we shouldn’t look at porn because it produces this high in us that feels like in the moment that it won’t go away unless with release it with MO. But in reality the high will go away if you give it time. You just have to be okay with being uncomfortably high/aroused for a bit before it goes away.