It takes time and it takes outside help.
I went through the same thing for years. Porn use isn’t really a coping method for anything; it’s media that takes your normal human instincts to connect and be intimate, and it makes them into something where it’s just an orgasm and a screen, no connection at all. Porn is hollow and it leaves you hollow.
The hollowness is the missing intimacy.
The trick is that intimacy is never physical. The physical stuff is like fruit on a tree. If the tree isn’t healthy - if you’ve been neglecting the emotion work that goes into a marriage; the emotion work is the trunk and the roots of the tree - then the fruit won’t grow.
My wife and I contacted a relationship counsellor early in my sobriety, starting about three years ago. We’ve been through several counsellors, some ok and some really good (the one we have now is really good; the really good ones, we stick with them). All of them have helped us understand emotion communication and healthy, intimacy-building relationship work. We’ve learned skills and we’re still learning (and yes, our sex has improved, and she’s feeling better).
Also, I encouraged her to join a group for partners of porn and sec addicts. She joined the group at the clinic I was attending for my recovery. Her group was all women whose husbands had sex and porn addictions. It was enormously helpful for her to find that support from other people who were in her shoes. It made her feel less alone.
Feeling alone. Your partner, she feels alone, I guarantee it. Finding a way to connect with other people (not you) who can validate her experience and help her find a path forward, is helpful.
There’s a good set of links here. There are links that will help you, and her. The links for groups like “S-Anon” are groups specifically for partners of sex addicts. Those groups are where she can find a sense of empathy and understanding.
I would encourage you guys to get a counsellor to help you work through this. Be sure the counsellor is familiar with sex addiction and its impact on relationships. It is important the counsellor understands.