Hi, does anyone else feel like it makes it significantly harder to control their porn addiction, when females so often tend to dress very sexy. As I am attracted to females, that’s so for me. If you’re attracted to males, I’m sure it can be a problem too. But yeah, I mean women very often tend to have tight clothing, and also clothing that shows much skin. Both very much on social media, advertising and in real life also. But especially in social media, it sucks that there’s this pressure (especially for women) that one should be so sexy. I mean going on Instagram can be sort of dangerous and a big risk for me. I mean it’s not unsual for girls to post sexy pictures. I do not follow pages that are created for just that purpose tho. I only follow friends, celebrities and other pages I think are interesting or funny. But I’ve limited myself to not following pages with just sexy girls or similar.
But yeah, does anyone feel like this also?
@Liam8 I try to think of the women as children of God, then think how their “dad” would react if he knew I was thinking of His daughters like that.
I would recommend you not follow anything on social media that could even lead to a trigger like celebrities. But know that people can dress how they want, it’s up to us to look beyond the skin and see the person but if we can’t do that then limit your looking to 3 seconds or less.
yeah, great thoughts. Yeah no I don’t follow anyone on instagram just for their body or looks. I only follow people if I by some means like their personality, that includes celebrities. I do not follow a single celebrity because of their looks, only becuse I like their personality or the thing that their doing, for exemple if I like their music. And I actually just like 5 minutes ago unfollowed a page, because it posted a shoutout for a fitness page or something. and the videos that were in that shoutout were just… I don’t know how to describe it. It was just no, if that makes sense? the first video was totally unrelated to fitness, it was just a woman with a stereotypically very sexy body, that just did sexy poses and turned around there. Well, yeah, that caused me to unfollow. And yeah I have unfollowed other accounts also that has posted content that might trigger my urge.
That’s got to be very challenging, good for you facing it head on. @Liam8, I know some people on the forum go so far as dropping all their social media accounts, and then the temptations there are never an issue. Something to think about.
For years I was frustrated that women would dress provocatively and I was somehow expected not to objectify them. But as time has passed I finally understand that I can’t blame the victims of my lust. They have a right to express themselves how they want, it’s up to me to manage my thoughts and reactions.
Agreed. I cant control others. Only the way I perceive the world and those in it.
I tried to focused my sight in the face, specially between the eyes when I speak with an attractive woman. And I try to think: Lord help me to see a person and not allow me to lust.
Yeah that’s a thing I also do. Even if I’m not talking to them, just keep my eyes of their body and concentrate on other things. And if I’m talking to them, then it’s their face that I’m looking at.
Yeah dude, it is frustrating to me sometimes how women seem to be showing more of their bodies when there is more pressure on us to stop objectifying and really see what’s on the inside. Everybody knows that sex sells which is why women are used in ads that have very little to do with women.
Personally, I deleted Facebook, Pinterest, Snapchat and never had an insta because I know me and I know how cunning the addict is. I don’t have cable or watch commercial TV
When I see an attractive woman and I start to fantasize about her body, I remember something my sponsor told me:
If I don’t know anything about her but her body and all I’m thinking about is sex, then she might as well be a blow-up doll.
That usually snaps me out of it and reminds me that she’s a human being and doesn’t need me ogling her.
I can’t change the world or control what people wear. I can change me.
7 days without porn and musterbation…after a long time…looking forward to making it into double digits…
My ex is a sex, porn and addicted to masturbation. For me, the sex addict was the biggest problem I had more than anything. There was sex with women he would find on Craigslist, other online sites and if he couldn’t get it for free then would result to paying for sex. I just want to commend you and others that are seeking help for this. It’s difficult for anyone who has issues with addiction to admit and seek help. My ex has yet to change and I’m not going to waste any energy on that however things could get very messy and possibly dangerous if he doesn’t watch it. He doesn’t have a set religion but is spiritual. I just want to say that God will help you but you have to learn to help yourself. Keep up the good work. If it feels good to say you are a day free from this addiction or a week, imagine how great it will feel to say you are 6 months or a year. I’m 6 months sober from alcohol and have been going strong from myself and son. I want him to know his mommy is strong, courageous and admires me for doing this for us
You can do it, but only one day at a time!
Hello everyone,
I’m having a tough time falling asleep tonight. Too much weighing on my mind. I’m here reading some posts to get my mind off of the to-do list that is running through my mind after recently purchasing a home.
I wanted to attach myself to this thread because I too am a porn addict. I’m 11.5 days clean at the moment. I recognize how bad it is for me but I am powerless to help myself. I’m working on connecting with others more to help combat my boyhood pleasure-seeking ways with more joyful and meaningful experiences. There’s a finite amount of time for me here on earth and I need to do better about using that time wisely and constructively.
I’ve been rereading Breaking the Cycle by George Collins again to help get back to finding a routine that led to some success with sobriety a couple years ago. I would highly recommend it to anyone with sex-based addictions.
I might use this as a space to check in every now and then if that’s cool with everyone.
Hope you’re all still fighting, it’s a noble goal to fight for.
My last relapse was rough. I woke up several times that night and binged. I was so frustrated, exhausted and angry. It’s been 161 days since then. Go to sleep, stay in bed. Put your phone away. Turn it off even.
I’m checking in. 13 days free from porn. Work has been crawling by and I think that’s the addict crying out in boredom as a way to justify an internet browser session for things that will elevate my pulse.
My productivity has been lacking. I have deleted Instagram from my phone. I’m not sure if I’ll go back, there’s just too much of an emphasis on unrealistic eye candy.
I’m sore. I hit the gym again the past couple of days. It was hard getting up the motivation to go by I’m trying to get back into a routine so that I’m prepared for the health challenge my wife and I signed up for. It’s focused on mindful eating habits and exercise with weekly reporting to keep us motivated and accountable. I am a little apprehensive about it all. Again, I think that’s the addict calling it “a lame waste of time. It doesn’t allow you to do anything fun.” The truth is, I need to reevaluate my definition of fun.
Fun means doing things that fulfill us and inspire us and give us affirmations of our value as humans within our communities. The dopamine rush from masturbation or simple carbs or whatever your DOC is, all wears off. We will never get enough of something that doesn’t really satisfy us. We will never look back at those memories of those experiences and smile with pride. Looking back at those experiences are typically shameful. That shame is a tool the addict uses to try to prove that we are hopeless cases. It’s just another turn in the cycle and I’m tired of being trapped in that cycle.
I need to stop putting a bandaid on the problems that I’m trying to ignore and make a habit of seeking practical solutions. The addict has prescribed porn for all of thise problems and it hasn’t worked once. It’s just isolated me. I have made the mistake of believing that avoiding pain means that I’m living a good life. Pain will find me eventually and I need to be prepared when it does. I also need to be prepared to handle the painful issues I’ve been hiding from. The only way to do that is to continue striving for a sober life. One day at a time.
Thanks for reading.
Social Media was a major problem for me in the thrall of addiction. I had enough sense to not use my browser on sites that were not on my open tabs, but on social media I’d get drawn down a rabbit hole. I deleted Twitter and Pinterest. I’ve walked away from Instagram multiple times. Now I just use it to post, and not search.
Theres a lot of good stuff on Social Media, but it’s definitely used for I’ll purposes by bad companies as well.
You are not alone man. I have been struggling with this for quite some time. It’s very difficult to maintain yet so easy to go back. I’m heading into my day 6 in recovery. What really helped me was this book called “Your brain on porn” it breaks down everything even to early teen year’s. Good luck and know you are not alone brother.
You’re right Newpath, rebootnation.org and a lot of those online publications and videos really helped me to understand what was going in with me and some of the basic neuroscience behind it all. I’ve had a thread on there for a while and still do check in on occasion but I had problems with some of the reasons that some people were seeking to avoid porn. It seemed more ego driven, like they needed to do nofap to become some sort of sexual superhero. Or they were dealing with inadequacy issues that made them feel they needed to do exercises to modify their bodies to be more appealing to their potential partners. That’s not to discredit all the wonderful people with the best of intentions. It’s because of them that I am here.
But I need a collective community striving for sobriety from our various of choice for the right reasons. I believe that I am in need of physical group meetings but live in such a rural area that I’m nervous about how my addiction would be viewed and the problem of anonymity in a tiny community. I’ve already felt a little persecuted by the substance addicts even here. I suppose I’m afraid of being vulnerable and admitting that I need the help of other individuals.
I really appreciate the support guys! Thanks!
If you have the means to see a therapist/counselor who specializes in sex issues, that could be an option. They would be legally required to keep your problem confidential and it would give you some in-person accountability.
I saw a therapist about twice a month this year until my recent move, it did a lot for me. They guided me through a lot of the garbage in my past and helped me make sense of things.
@Pujaantarbangsa, this is one of the main threads we talk about our lust in. Give it a read and feel free to contribute with your own struggles!
Hi Everyone,
In a few minutes I’ll be 8 days sober from Porn. I am 1 day sober from Masturbation. M is harder to break with since it is such an ingrained bad habit!
I am taking things really seriously regarding access. I leave my personal laptop shut away at work so on weekends and evenings I don’t have a laptop. I am open with my youth leader at my Church and signed a contract that if I ever look at porn I have to tell him about it and then we go for coffee somewhere and talk about the triggers and make a strategy. Since I have made it so serious for myself I am doing much better.
I also started reading the You Version Bible. Its has some Bible reading plans for men and women who have a problem in this area. I highlight the verses and started the day in prayer on my knees and read verses. I was actually being tempted to view something sexy on youtube a few minutes ago but I am resisting the devil and fleeing the temptation by writing to you!
The Bible is a powerful weapon against giving in to my lusts. Prayer is also great and then being aware of my own weaknesses and making a strategy.
I recently downloaded the Audiobook from Audible called the Miracle Morning for Addicts. If I can beat this addiction in the morning and get in the right state of mind when I wake up then it is much easier to beat this addiction during the day and at night. I also installed Boomerang
on my phone and it locks down apps I could use to access porn between 18:00 and 7:30am on weekdays and 18:00 and 9:00am on weekends.
This means I can only use the internet on my phone when I am in a sober state of mind and not over tired as far as possible. I used to find all the loopholes on Boomerang until we locked down everything even Telegram and Whatsapp and Google Maps during these times. I now don’t have any access to porn on my phone during times where I’d be especially tired.
Please keep me in your thoughts and I will also pray for all of u who are in the same fight. We can beat porn and get it out of our lives if we stay Sober and do whatever it takes to beat it. For each one, that “whatever it takes” may be different. I know I have to be extreme and radical. All the other times I tried to beat this addiction whilst leaving some loopholes open and doors unlocked to the enemy, I failed!
We have to kill porn in our lives or it kills us!
Destroy it or it destroys you!
This is what helps me.
Have a great day guys and remember you are not alone and there are other guys dealing with this too! I’m 33, single, never had a girlfriend and maybe one day I will get married. This is why it is all SO VITAL to keep my heart with all diligence for out of it spring the issues of life.
Proverbs 4:23 (NKJV) Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.
Wives are so crushed when their husbands cheat on them by looking at porn. I don’t wanna be like that if I ever get married!
I’ll leave u guys and ladies with some videos that helped me get serious. Good luck to you and know that if I can beat this then ANYONE and I mean, ANYONE CAN!