I really need your help and prayers. I really need gods grace and mercy in my marriage with my wife. Need prayer for God’s guidance and wisdom in what to do for the next step. It hurts me so much to see pain in my wife because of my relapse with Porn (Instagram of heavy inappropriate content). I really want to see my wife being really happy and satisfied thru the power of blessings thru the Lord. I really want to save our marriage and make it work especially with our own businesses. If u can share your experience on how u overcame Porn addiction then please do that and tell me how u overcame it with long years of soberity. Thanks!!!
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My heart breaks for you, I personally do not struggle with this type of addiction but for my addiction, anytime I have a thought, craving or urge (whatever you call it) I acknowledge it, ponder on it, process it and then move on, focusing my time on a different, healthy and positive activity. (Basically using different coping mechanisms) another thing that really helped was self reflection, meditation, and journaling on my current thoughts and feelings as well as past thoughts and feelings, meaning looking within myself to try to understand how the addiction started, how it continued to live, and what made me stop, how am I recovering now, why did I relapse, etc.
What is neurologically and physiological going on currently in my brain? What is going on psychology? What is going on with me psychically? So maybe it would help to break your addiction down, try to understand, comphrend and learn, then try coping mechanism as well as techniques to over come, get support and seek help, pray to the Lord, and lastly most important talk to your wife. Be open, truth, honest and especially vunerable. And as always, all of us are here for you! Post anytime you need too on the forum! God Bless, saying prayers for you and asking the Lord to give you strength, provide you with wisdom and guide you on the road to recovery. 
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Welcome to the forum! Despite your circumstances, there is hope. As the saying goes, faith without works is dead, and for me, that was true.
I just celebrated 7 years free of compulsive sex, love, and pornography addiction on February 13th. I struggled for many years, but I didn’t get better until I gave recovery my highest priority. No matter how badly I needed it, I didn’t get better until I wanted a new life and better way and was willing to do whatever it took.
Here are some resources to get started. I wish you well!
LifeStar: lifestarnetwork.com
Sexaholics Anonymous: sa.org
Sex Addicts Anonymous: saa-recovery.org
Sexual Compulsives Anonymous: sca-recovery.org
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous: slaafws.org
Sex and Porn Addicts Anonymous: spaa-recovery.org
Sexual Compulsives Anonymous: sca-recovery.org
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Hey @Maikerufokasu1sorry to hear about your relapse. Do you have accountability software?
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I sought counselling at a sex addiction recovery clinic, and attend a recovery group (see @NealRecoveryCA’s list, above). The group support has been very significant. I also got rid of my personal smart phone & replaced it with a flip phone (no videos). I still have a work smart phone, but my company monitors it so I don’t have a temptation there.
Others on here (for example @KevinesKay) have had success with programs like Covenant Eyes, and enlisting lots and lots of support from the people they love. I think with this addiction particularly, it’s important to humbly ask for support, and really work on being self-aware, find out what you’re running from, and try to care for that, communicate that, and build a network of support to help you work through your weaknesses.
Lots of good advice on here for you. You are not alone. You are a good person, a worthy person. With effort, humility and persistence you will become the man you want to be. 
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Hey friend. You came to the right place. I hope you take advantage of this forum and find it as valuable as I have. Don’t lose faith.
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No experience with your addiction but addiction is addiction and I can hear the pain in your post. Sending prayers to you and your wife for God to heal you and your marriage.
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With me it was finding a program (or creating a program) that worked and sticking to it. I wholeheartedly agree with @NealRecoveryCA. Faith without works is dead. I like the saying, pray like it all depends on God, but work like it all depends on you.
I’m absolutely not free from pornography addiction. I suppose I never will. But, I wont give up and I will constantly/daily work a program to protect myself from relapse.
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This is a supremely important concept. I believe God doesn’t heal directly and instantaneously because he wants to see an expression of faith. He does heal though!
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Welcome back, Michael.
I post on TS everyday. I go to a weekly CR meeting. I go to church. I use Covenant Eyes on my phone. And I’m working on myself everyday. For me, I’ve had to make some serious life changes. And I’ve had to get a lot of help. And I’m still struggling. @NealRecoveryCA makes a good point of putting his recovery first before everything.
You know what it’s like to put everything you’ve got for future award. You’re a champion speedskater. And I think recovery calls for the same amount of determination, in addition to reaching out for help and support because we can’t do this alone.
Personally, I think sobriety is a much greater reward than any such trophy, and the time that I devote to it demonstrates that.
It’s not just about stopping the porn and MB. It’s also going to include repairing your relationship with God, with yourself, and with your wife and family. Get some help. And if you’re already getting help, get some more. You’re going to need all the help you can get.
And never give up, … never!
Lord, please guide Micheal to where you want him to be in this life. Please give him the strength to take those necessary steps to get help. Direct him in a path where he can start restoring the relationship with his wife that has become strained due to his addiction. And help him to not lose hope. There’s always hope. We pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen.
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The concept applies to everyone. Faith in the process yields results whether you are a Christian or not.
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Key word - do whatever it takes, to make it work.
That’s the way, my brother 
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I’m stealing this. Thanks!
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Also, here are some resources for your wife, as I’m sure she could use some support.
Co-Sex and Love Addicts Anon: http://coslaa.org/
Co-dependents of Sex Addicts: http://www.cosa-recovery.org/
Recovering Couples Anon: https://recovering-couples.org/
S-Anon: https://sanon.org
I’ll add these to my other resources list post.
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Dude that’s awesome! I’ve been wondering where I might be able to find that kind of help for my wife! Thanks for sharing that!
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By all means!
Thanks for The tag @RBG!
Michael, I can definitely relate to you right now.
Those feelings of deep desperation to just stop causing our wife so much pain because of this addiction, to be free from it, and instead, see her deepest wounds healed by God. Not only the ones we’ve caused recently but also the wounds she’s had before us, that we may have opened back up because of this addiction. I too, share that want for my wife to be completely healed and free.
And that is a very powerful reason to quit pmo.
But we can’t let it be our soul reason, or even our main reason to quit. Our reason for quitting has to be, #1 God, #2 ourself, and #3 our wife or family or job or any other good reasons.
Unfortunately I know by experience that my wife won’t always be a good enough reason to stay free… I went 90 days free one time, and then messed up because I started thinking she didn’t even care that I was doing better, and she was the main reason I was trying.
Its also Obvious to me that I’m not a good enough reason, alone, to be free from it. And some would say that, that’s the problem, that I need to see myself as a good enough reason to be free. And in part they’d be right, I need to see myself in a better way. But then again if I do it mainly for me, well I have the tendency to be selfish, which usually leads me straight back into my mess.
But if my main reason is for God, than He’s not only the
Ultimate GOOD reason, but He’s also the one who gives me the ability to see myself in a better way, to love myself enough to stay free and yet not get selfish and end up back in my mess. He’s the one who will help me to keep my wife as a good reason to stay free, even in those times that she doesn’t seem to care.
So Michael, have faith that God is healing your wife, He is blessing your business, and He is freeing you from your addiction! And hold on to that faith, because, it’s like @RBG said, it’s not all instantaneous, but God does heal.
You’ve done a very good thing in reaching out and asking for prayer! Prayer is powerful!
When my wife and I got married we planned on having kids around 5 years or so into our marriage. Then I started hurting her so badly inside, because of this addiction, that her want for kids, quickly turned into a hatred of kids, and she told me she’d never want to have kids, and if she ever did have kids, it would never be with me. I learned to deal with that, but I’ve always hoped she would change her mind back again. Now 5 years later, after lots of prayer, and even a couple posts on this app that look very similar to yours, my wife has all the sudden, in the past few months, started talking about having kids again! She’s apologized for what she used to say, she’s started telling me I’m the only man she’d ever want to have children with, and she’s thought up names. Now we’re just waiting on the right timing.
So you can be sure that God hears your prayers and that He is working in your life.
Just take @KevinesKay 's advice, and keep using every tool you have at your disposal. And you will get through this!
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I, too, am addicted to porn and masterbation. I’m in recovery, but I wouldn’t say I’m recovered. It’s taken years with a great therapist and opening my heart and soul to my Recovery Dharma group to get to this point in my life.
So much of my recovery has been accepting myself. Not accepting the addiction, but understanding that I’m not perfect and I am not my addiction. Compassion is necessary for yourself as well those around you. Give yourself that compassion.
Then take action if you haven’t already. Seek counseling for your addiction. Understanding the root cause of your problem gives the advantage needed to succeed.
Find a group that works for you. The Buddhist oriented group I attend taught me that a human being with a good heart was still inside me. All I had to do was begin digging through the years of neglect. Uncover the person I want to be.
Mistakes will happen. Recovery means getting up again. Not giving up.
Best wishes to you.
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