Hey everyone first time posting here. So I just want to share a little bit about my past 15 years briefly. When I was in 10th grade I stumbled upon pornography while on a gaming website. Usually when pop ups appear on my pc I immediately close out of them but for this one I didn’t. And ever since then it’s been a tough road with porn and masturbation. I use to watch it almost every week and would fantasize a lot making me have a poor view point toward women. Even my relationship with my best friend who was my girl friend ended a year ago because of this. Granted I told her about my struggles in 2013 and our relationship was not as stable. During then till 2016 it had been on and off with watching pornography, usually every 3 weeks I’d find myself back at my pc watching it. This past year however, it has gotten better with me watching porn and masturbating at least once a month. The most of the things that were triggers for me don’t work as much; however, I do want to start dating again and be in a relationship however I don’t want to carry this with me into the relationship. I’ve caused so much damage to my past girlfriend I’m kind of scared of starting a new relationship until I can overcome this.
This morning, I’ve fallen back into it after going a month in a half being clean. Porn is a powerful addiction that I think a lot of people don’t realize and it can be very destructive to those within a relationship, especially toward the person that’s not watching porn. I just wanted to confess this because I don’t want this strong hold over my life anymore. I’ve welcomed it into my life and now it’s destroyed a relationship that I once had. Thanks for taking the time to listen