I have been thinking a lot about prayer lately - it’s been on my mind for about 6 months and arose through my engagement with Al-Anon and now with AA. I was raised in an anti-religious family - we never went to church and I never learned how to pray. I was trying to make sense of it earlier this year, as I really didn’t understand the purpose or the benefit. But I was trying to understand, so I started doing research and talking to people. The thing that caused it to click into place for me was a quote by Søren Kierkegaard:
“The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.”
For the first time in my life, I started to understand. So I am trying to learn, which involves putting things together in a way that is meaningful for me.Currently, when I am or others are struggling, I ask my higher power (also an elusive concept that is not a traditional “god”, but I’m learning to roll with it) for courage, strength and wisdom for myself and/or others. I would like, in time when I am ready, to develop this a little further.
So, I am curious. For those that do pray, what does prayer mean to you? What do you pray for and how do you do it? Is it ad hoc or daily?
I look forward to hearing about others’ experiences and thoughts
I pray sometimes. I’m agnostic, raised by Christian hippies. I don’t believe in the Christian God, but rather a shared connection at some quantum level. To me, prayer is a means to tap into that energy that binds us, to draw strength from.
Prayer is a daily part of my life. It is usually the last thing I do before sleeping, and is the first thing I do upon rising.
I’ve come to believe that my Lord knows what I need, before I need it, and will likely provide it without me asking. He wants to hear from me, because it shows that I know from where these blessings flow. He wants me to unburden myself of my fears, and worries, and doubts. He wants to hear me thank Him, to demonstrate a grateful heart.
Thanks so much for sharing. As any kind of engagement with spirituality is so new to me, I appreciate hearing about others’ experiences and approaches, as I have almost no pre-existing framework. But I like learning and finally feel like I’ve opened my mind to new possibilities.
I lost all of my annotated philosophy books in an accident. I hate that I don’t have them to refer to anymore.
I find Kierkegaard to be quite helpful and analogous to the thought process within AA. I also believe that all of that work, reading, meditating, and writing on Kierkegaard all those years ago allowed me to be more open to AA and the concept of a higher power b/c that work allowed me to separate the God of Christendom (of which I have issues with) from a personal relationship with God/HP.
Once I get some free time, I need to dig back into Sickness unto Death, particularly the sickness of spirit. There are a number of similarities that I recall from the descriptions of the alcoholic…“A despairing man is in despair over something.”
I was raised in a Catholic household, but have never really been tremendously religious. Frankly I don’t know what I believe in. I think it’s OK to be undecided, and I have no issue with those who are believers, nor do I take issue with those who are outright non-believers. To each their own.
That said, I have been meaning to try prayer – simply because it verbalizes my thoughts, concerns, and problems – thus offering some relief in that regard. Additionally, what’s the harm in me trying? If it works for me, it works for me. If it doesn’t work for me, no harm done.
I guess I’m in the same boat in that I just don’t really know where to start. I’m just open to possibilities and things I can try to do to bring some peace to my mind and stay aboard the sober train.
Listening for me comes at the times during what I would call my meditation practice, in meetings (a form of meditation to a degree), or when all else fails, when HP decides to hit me upside the head with it b/c I won’t flipping listen.
Honestly, I find formal prayer difficult in that it feels inauthentic and therefore dishonest. Not sure why and haven’t had the time to work through it. Although, many may say that many times my meditations are a sort of freeflowing active prayer. IDK
I pray for fellow addicts when I don’t see them in group. I pray for their safety and sobriety. I pray for my soberiety and I thank God every night before bed for my sobriety. I wasn’t raised around religion either. Both my parents were meth addicts. Since treatment I’ve come to accept Christ and the sacrifices he made for us. I pray for world peace💛
My story is very similar. No one ever taught me how to pray. And I had huge worth issues. All my life I was afraid of God. Afraid because in my mind, I didn’t meet the requirements for membership. Lol. But that’s really what I thought.
So early on, after a meeting I was talking to this dude. I was telling him my fears of God. I told Home that I didn’t know how to talk to God. The dude just said," He is listening to you right now".
Right then it was like a switch went off inside me. I got it. I finally got it. A few minutes later that dude and I were on our knees saying the Third Step Prayer. There were defo tears. Tears because I felt something I had never felt before. Tears because I had just prayed for the first time in my life.
That night I got home and prayed again. I still didn’t know what the crap I was doing. I just closed my eyes and put my hands together and started talking to the empty room. I talked and talked. I didn’t hold back. I didn’t watch my language. I said it all. I said things that I had never told another soul. And afterwards, I felt relief. So much relief.
That’s basically how I started praying. I say that I “faked it till I maked it”. I realized that there are no rules. I can pray however and to whatever I want. all that matters is that I feel relief afterwards.
I constantly wish people well, when they are on my mind (except my MIL… lol jk ) and put out positive vibes. My form of prayer I guess and it happens often. Don’t know what I believe in yet, but I see amazing things happen everyday.
Wow everyone, I’m loving reading these poignant and interesting descriptions of your experiences. It is so helpful to me to hear about this because it’s not something that I’ve ever heard people talk about until recently. I haven’t had any spiritual role models in my life, so I really appreciate everyone’s openness and honesty and sharing . Love to you all. Xx
So I am a simple person (or I pretend to be, haha) so I like to just keep it simple.
Each morning and night - when I wake up and when I go to bed - I fold my arms, and kneel on the ground; I start with telling him things I am thankful for (like a good day or a good event in the day) and then add some things I with to see happen (things like asking for a family I see struggling to receive help, and how I might could help them). After I get all done, I close prayer (I am a Christian, so I do so in the name of Jesus Christ, trying to remember how he would serve and bless others), and then carry forward with whatever I am doing.
Sometimes I forget, so I just say quick prayers when I am driving to work, haha. I think the part of prayer that works for me is trying to be sincere and giving time to listen to my feelings. Sometimes I feel like I need to help out in some way, and other times I feel I should act (or not act) in curtain ways. I usually pray about big decisions, and try to follow these feelings so I can feel peace in the stressful decisions.
Prayer is actually the reason I came to this forum. I prayed for what I could do to break addiction, and felt like I should talk with others who might be like me. I liked technology, and felt that was the way to go. I found this app, watched for a few days, and after praying again I felt it was a good thing to join. I haven’t looked back
Songs are prayers. Poetry is a prayer. Prayer is my time on my knees just listening. Prayer is the action of meditation. Prayer is running with no headphones, listening to the wind and my heartbeat. Prayer is rising in the night to respond to a small child’s cry. Prayer is gratitude for a meal or a coffee with a friend. Prayer is intimacy with my partner. Prayer was holding my mother’s hand when she was dying. Prayer is an AA meeting.
Prayer is not part of my life, no more than spirituality is part of my life. I am convinced we are all spirit expressed in flesh. Every time I step out of ego, I return to the spirit life. Every time I cover my self in ego, I descend into madness.
It’s all prayer, because we are all made of the same stuff as the stars. Prayer is connecting to that truth. And I still cry a little with gratitude each time I think of my Mom who has transformed.
I am still working on prayer - it isn’t second nature yet, but I find it works it’s way into my life in important ways and at important times. It is still developing. Sometimes I feel better if I can write it out.
This morning I pray for one of our friends who at 10am this morning reports to state custody. I pray for his physical and psychological safety. I pray for him to find courage and strength. I pray that he is able to find an inner peace and comfort that comes with connecting with and trusting his HP. I pray that he knows that there are many people that care about him and are pulling for him.
When I drive my daughter to and from school, we often have some deep conversations. She tells me what’s troubling her, or what’s got her excited. I’ll generally ask a question or make a small comment to keep her thinking and talking through.
I imagine my HP sitting in the driver’s seat, doing the same thing with me. “You keep thinking and talking this through, Steve. I’ll make sure you end up where you need to be.”
) and put out positive vibes. My form of prayer I guess and it happens often. Don’t know what I believe in yet, but I see amazing things happen everyday.
