Pressure release valve

I’m just so frustrated and exhausted right now. I’ve spent all day fighting tooth and nail to keep my emotions reined in. It’s the kind of day where the reality is “You make damn sure you don’t loosen your grip and get lost in this fog unless you’re prepared to have psychiatric care pull you out of it again”. The only thing I’ve been able to accomplish today is getting a meal into myself and not do anything overtly dangerous.

Makes me feel pathetic and inadequate to have this degree of emotional dysregulation, when it seems like a normal person can also have a difficult day but deal with it without things getting out of hand. It really shouldn’t be difficult to stay safe.

Last night I went for coffee with my mom, after a highly productive day, we had a great conversation about music, writing, history, and culture, and she commented on how well I’ve been doing recently. This morning, in contrast, my mood set the tone for the day shuddering like a seismograph during a Richter 8 event, and I was completely non-functional. Nothing of note happened in between.

The absurdity is getting so old now that it’s a real grind to try to fight it.

I want to stay level headed and calm to enjoy this game of life, but damn it’s mind numbingly frustrating to do when the pieces slide everywhere. Anyone got glue?


I’m only 4 days in, this time, and I cannot control my rage. I literally just smashed a computer and went into a profanity laced tirade right in front of my 11 year old daughter. Alcohol has been my release valve. All that remains now is rage, anger and frustration. So maybe someone can give me some advice as well. I’m as miserable as they come…I can’t breathe.

I hope you can find ways to be kind to yourself. You may not have been as productive today as you wanted, but you made it through. That is a win no matter what.

Comparing yourself to others is a dangerous game. Especially since you don’t always know the struggles others are facing in their own lives. Sometimes it just looks like they are holding it together easily. They may look at you and think the same some days.

I’m glad you made it through the day today, any way you could. I hope tomorrow is better for you.

I suggest AA and some anger management classes.

Just tell yourself no to the first drink. Actually think of your past experiences while drinking and how you felt the next day. It’s taken me a long time to think about what I’ve done and how I dont want to go down that road again. I just cant. Neither should you.