I have rarely gone out and drank non alcoholic drinks. I have finally come to the decision things need to change, i need to change. I’m on day 3 and coping kind of, but i know its early days and the weekend is not here yet, which will be my tough time…So tonight I was out to a restaurant for a meal with friends i drove so i couldn’t drink which I would never normally do. I couldn’t believe the price of a lime and soda £3.50!!! For water!!! That’s why i drink i refuse to pay that much for water, i’d rather waste money on alcohol than on water. Not helpful here i know but thays how my mind sees it. What a waste. I know i need to change my attitude as this is not helping but blimey… (i drank tap.water after that btw)
I always ask for tap water with ice and a slice looks kinda posh and its free lol soda water is rank to me yak
When I was at the airport, tea was $3 and drinks were $8+
When i was in nyc this past weekend i got an $11 juice. I commented to my friend that i would not bat an eye at an $11 alcoholic drink to be able to poison myself. These days i will happily drink an $11 juice or buy expensive tea. I’m still saving heaps of cash and my mental and physical health. Cheers!
I lived in Czech Republic for 5 years where beer is cheaper than water so people used to have this mentality of ‘Its cheaper than water, may aswell drink beer’. Why? If I wanted a water, why am I worried by how much it costs?
I recently saw a commercial for new Heineken 0.0 alcohol level beer. Its supposedly the only one with zero alcohol. The wife said she saw it at the store and was $10.00 for a six pack. Regular beer is only $5.00 a sixpack. I thought that was whacky. I dont plan on getting any as its not good for my kinda mind.
People drink beer for the taste?
How many lime and soda can you have for one evening? 2,maybe 3? When you had that first beer,how many do you end up having? I know i could stomach plenty!
Could you see the lime and soda as a luxury drink that you deserve for staying sober? Nomatter the price. On the other hand you dont deserve cheap beer that fucks up your brain,body and lime. Dont go cheap,treat yourself.
Is this what you really believe? I get that it is expensive but everything is expensive. The price of soda water is not likely the reason why you drink beer/wine/whatever.
I could care less about how much my non-alcoholic drinks cost. The price I pay when I drink is waaaay more costly.
Don’t forget the ancillary costs of booze. Bail $500. Liver transplant $10,000? New pair of jeans because you pissed yourself $40. DUI $5000. Rehab $20,000 Divorce $10000000000 (lawyers ain’t cheap). I’d pay a hell of a lot more for water because that shit ain’t gonna cost me down the line.
I’m out again tonight this time for a pub quiz, hoping the soda will be more reasonable tonight. The thing is i do lots of stuff socially meals, pubs quizzes, music gigs stuff like that and i don’t want to have to change the the way i live. I am more trying to change my mind from needing a drink to enjoy myself. I think ive got this. Wish me luck please
Lots of luck!!
Your gonna need more than luck if you continue on this same course my friend.
Hope you can do it. But what happens when someone asks if you’re having a drink. They catch you off guard. Speaking from personal experience here.
All the best.
In early sobriety I made a point to avoid temptation. I know you aren’t too keen on changing anything, but that’s not how sobriety works. If you don’t change anything then nothing will change. Sobriety isn’t a change, it’s a result of change. Fear not. If you get a sponsor and work the steps you will be able to exist in society without fear. I can do anything and go anywhere so long as my reason for being there is legit. I can only determine what is legit by having a program in my life. The 10th step promises are , but you need to the 9 steps before it first. I’m not going to wish you luck bc luck never got any one sober. Hard work and determination is what I wish for you because that’s what you are going to need.
Thanks and i do take your views definitely and i appreciate i need to change. I did manage tonight on soda which btw was only £1 tonight. It wasn’t as bad as i thought it might be being in the pub while others are drinking but again i know its not going to be easy to keep this up. I am dreading the weekend but planning to stay home this weeknd as i know it will be my worst time.
I know you don’t want to change your life but you really have to make some changes. For now it might be best to spend some time focused on sobriety. You can always go back out another time. Nothing has to be permanent.
Ah, but there’s a whole bunch of hidden costs and “small print” with alcohol, up to and including death. While I agree that seems excessive for non-alcoholic beverages, you must consider the long-term costs of drinking when doing a cost/benefit analysis. Failure to do so can give the addicted brain a justification to drink.
Another thing to consider is where they are charging exorbitant prices for N/A beverages. Are you going to clubs, pubs, and bars? As the old saying goes, “hang around in a barber shop, end up with a haircut”. Maybe look at your overall lifestyle. If you live a drinkers lifestyle, and only eliminate the alcohol, it’s just a dry-drunk life.
But I am me, and you are you. Your mileage may vary.
If not drinking is your top and non-negotiable priority, then it won’t matter even if alcohol is free, because you still wouldn’t choose it. The drink menu is just a blank board of numbers that only mean something to other people.
I get you on the feeling part though. I’m really sensitive to costs when eating out, and it’s really frustrating when something I had hoped would be pretty cheap is actually not. And I know that in my first days I was grumpy as all get out about not being able to drink, like, “why are you gouging me, way to encourage me on my sober journey, I’m sacrificing so much to stop drinking, and you’re making it harder by squeezing profit out of my sober choices”. The first weeks can be rough, and feeling irritable is a totally normal, really common part of this.
You are right that an attitude change will help this not get to you. I say that because it has been happening for me and that process is still going. In my case, it was maybe a couple months before I was ready for my attitudes to change though. For you, it may happen sooner, I don’t know. The healing process has had my emotions running hot, and it takes time for the lessons I learn to settle in deep enough to start improving my life. These days, I have a way easier time with things, and sobriety feels like a blessing and freedom now, instead of feeling like a restriction and a PITA. That has taken both a conscious effort to change, and time.
Being social, enjoying yourself without a drink, saying no to drinks… I promise you will have loads of opportunities to do all of these things without ever intentionally putting yourself around alcohol.
I get that you don’t want to change your lifestyle. It is ultimately your choice. I share the others’ views and hope you’ll consider making some changes. It’s not that I am evaluating you as incapable, it’s that early sobriety is already hard enough, and I want the odds stacked in your favour as much as they can be. From the way you talk about it, it sounds exhausting facing environments with alcohol, and more importantly it sounds like there’s still a bit of a question mark in the “coming home stone cold sober” tick box for going out to the pub.
I think that making changes is one of those things that’s easier to appreciate in retrospect than in the moment. I put my wallet in someone else’s safekeeping for my first two months, and it allowed me to focus my energy on myself and what I needed to grow, get better, adjust to sober life. During that time, I thought it was a bit extreme. Since then I haven’t really spent much time thinking about “extreme” or not, but I do think about how much easier it made things overall.
Only you know what you’re ready to do in the name of sobriety. Getting out of the social alcohol scene can be a big life adjustment, and 3 days is not a lot of time to digest that. If you’re not ready to make big changes, maybe take it one day at a time. Sounds like you can at least spend the weekend away at home, that’s a good start. Then on Monday, you may say something like “wanna grab coffee later/play boardgames at my place/have ice cream on the boardwalk” etc. or “I feel like staying home tonight”. Tuesday might call for Netflix and chill. And so on. It’s not my preferred way of looking at it, I like to commit to things en bloc, but I bring it up because that’s how some people arrive at making their changes. We all carry out our intended plans one day at a time, anyways.
Thanks for that i know what your saying and it makes sense. Yes maybe im just not ready for those big changes yet, i like my friends when i go out but yes im hoping that as i go thru this i may find they are not so 'real friends ’ and that will help me move away from that circle. Thanks for the supportive comments