Pride and guilt

Still early days of sobriety but already seeing difference in my kids. It’s like their alert level has gone down a notch, they aren’t worried about me and can relax and be kids. My adhd son in particular is kicking off far less. And that is bringing up mixed emotions. Of course pride they are doing better, but awful guilt at how I have held them back. I am also sort of doing the steps (the free Russell Brand one), and thinking about the resentments I have for my mother, and what they will have for me is heartbreaking. But that is more self-indulgence on my part.

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Our kids know more than we give them credit for. My daughter noticed within the 1st couple weeks and made comments about how nicer and patient I’ve become. It made me feel so guilty, knowing I robbed her of this better version of myself for years. We can’t change the past but this definitely helps for the future. I now think of her and the comments when I’m having a bad day, it stops me from picking up that drink or drug.

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Kids really do notice. A lot of people have noticed this on here.
Yes the guilt is there but don’t let it rule you.
Accept where you are today and move forward with the knowledge that you are not going to be like that again.
Use it to motivate yourself.

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