I’m not a drinker anymore because I really hated who I was becoming. I’m fortunate that it didn’t take a life threatening occurrence for me to realize alcohol is absolutely no help in my life.
In my 2 weeks of bone-dry sobriety I’ve realized how uncomfortable people get when you refuse to order a drink with them.
They question you; asking are you sure you
dont want just one glass. They tease or try to make light jokes - I’m sure in good nature.
I’m a young women and I’ve been asked repeatedly if I’m pregnant - no drinking is just not for me anymore, that’s really hard for them to understand! Lol
Anyway. I want to hear what reactions you’ve had when telling someone you’re not drinking? Or how do you refuse the offer or stay confident in saying no 2-3 times?
There were times in the beginning of my sobriety in which I felt I was the subject of an after school special on peer pressure. Drinkers like company — at least the people I used to drink with did. My old drinking buddies were the worst. I’ve shed most of them since I’ve been sober.
When asked why I was no longer drinking by acquaintances, i told them that i didn’t feel it was enhancing my quality of life. People let it drop. To my former drunk pals, I told them I didn’t want to wake up in my own vomit again — or similarly flowery image. They knew.
I had to remove myself from the bar scene for about six months to avoid all of that. My resolve in the beginning was like a new born baby— new and weak and unsure. Only after I got some time under my belt did I venture back into bars and by then I was solid in my resolve. And my real friends stopped asking. I also realized that spending a lot of time in bars was no longer fun so I stopped doing it.
My close friends and family don’t care - they don’t focus on the drink, just spending time with me! Those friends are so valuable - we all need more of them.
When people hear you aren’t drinking, it shines a light on their own consumption. They tend to get defensive, aggressive or pushy. A lot of times, they don’t realise they’re doing it.
I’m a 26 year old woman and so many people assume I’m pregnant occasionally, people say “go on, just one” which can be very annoying.
Saying no to the first drink is my tip. It gets easier after that - and setting a firm intention not to drink before going out. If I can’t be bothered to explain, I might say I’m not feeling well.
I used excuses for the first little while but it felt inauthentic and made me feel even more uncomfortable. I have had several situations where recently I just say “I can’t drink because I’m not a good person when I drink, so I’ve decided to become sober”… I’ve whipped out my AA chips for a few to see too so that they understand that I am dead serious. The only reactions I have gotten are: I’m so proud of you, wow I wish I could quit too, good for you that’s awesome… it’s actually only been 97 days for me but all of my family and friends now know that I consider myself a recovering alcoholic and that I go to AA. When you feel ready, the truth can truly set you free (sorry for the cliche lol)… I feel like I am in power now, alcohol isn’t forcing me to lie to loved ones… I’m confident now telling people that alcohol was nothing but trouble.
When i got sober in my early days i didnt go to pubs or clubs so i didnt have to say i dont drink , i used to go to meetings in the evenings ,