Questioning Soberity

Going thru divorce, has anyone had their spouse buy alcohol and then take screen shots and send it to family members and friends telling them that they know their soon to be ex is drinking again?

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Fuck that and fuck her. She’s trying to get in your head. What she’s saying is that you are a better person when you’re sober and she can’t compete with you when you are at your best.

You are in control of your actions, no one else, so be your best. Be sober.

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What a bitter thing to do on her part. If that were me I would be using that as fuel.
At the end of the day we’re all responsible for our own sobriety no matter what life throws at us on a daily basis. You have our support here, keep coming back.

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Gosh, that is sad. I have never been divorced, but I have been through some painful breakups in my years. I know for myself it was so much easier and less painful to focus on the other and all they were doing…than really feel my own sadness and pain and anger. That is what it sounds like your ex partner is doing. Stirring the pot cuz chaos loves company. Keep doing YOU and focus on your new healthy life and sobriety. Move forward in health and healing …physically mentally spiritually…you won’t regret it. Stay strong :muscle:!!

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It is a horribly sad and desperate action that was taken. The best revenge is to live your best sober life. People will see that, and nothing more needs to be said.

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Unfortantly when your doing your best sometimes it not woeeth it… People use different meathods to cause a desired reaction… And the petty person in me would react to you situation… With having alcohol flow intake peaks and screen proofing them… I’d grab the bottle and hand it to a friend or family with a off the cuff comment of no idea why shes brought it but here…
Or do nothing… I don’t know how triggering a bottle so close in your presents will effect you…
Don’t let someone elses destruction enable you x

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I have almost 15 months under my belt, this is the 3rd time she had questioned my soberity, I haven’t shown any emotion at this point but I just wanted to share with you all how low someone you think you know could go so low, (22yrs. Marriage)

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Well done on 15 months. I think that maybe she sees your sobriety as a threat. She obviously thinks that this is the only way to get a reaction (attention) from you. If anything this would make me even more resolute in my sobriety. I’m sorry that your marriage broke down, 22 years is a long time. :pensive:…You are now on a different path and I wish you all the best. Don’t give her the satisfaction of a reaction. Let them think what they want to think, you know the truth. :ok_hand:

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Wow. I’m speechless, that’s such a horrible thing for someone to do to you. I’m sorry you have to deal with such a negative and spiteful person.

I hope the divorce goes quickly for you and you can move on to live a sober and peaceful life without such negativity.

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My ex used to tell lies to my family about my drinking and had friends write down every mishap i had with booze she was going to use it to get me sectioned as she wanted to move her boyfriend in lots of different things happened during my last few months there but i left and a couple weeks later i stopped drinking her boy friend moved in 13 year marriage was finished but im still sober ,happy days

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Misery loves company, dont let it bring you down. Great job on 15months of sobriety keep it up! Sounds like typical co-dependent behavior sometimes the best reaction is no action, water under the bridge. I had a friend who had his divorce finalized yesterday and he said im doing good not going to drink over it, he let all the feelings he had just go, i thought wow thats a major feet to just feel those emotions and process them out pretty amazing what being sober does for a person really brings some peace to the chaos that we use to thrive on. Take it easy just 1day at a time.:grinning::+1:

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Hi John, my name is Liza I’ve been clean for 5 years, I’ve done a lot of crazy things, that not only hurt other people on purpose that I am not proud of but I’ve had to go back and apologize for, during the 50yrs? of my active addiction. I did things that hurt myself physically/ medical that I’m not proud of that I cannot repair. Believing I was in the right to do so, things that were not in my best interest, things that I am far from being proud of now that I am clean.

Obviously this is a petty thing for her to do to you to make her look goodand you look bad. And you for sure know that tit for tat does not work in sobriety the only thing it does is make things worse. The best thing you can do is ignore her! Get away from her stay away from her

Unfortunately you will have to explain to your family/friends that she is just trying to be spiteful For what are to you unknown reasons.
We all know that it is not easy to make excuses for someone else. When you yourself are trying to stay clean and mentally focused and it’s best not to because your focus needs to be on you. That’s the only way to keep yourself clean an on track in the beginning the first year to 18mths that not that far. Don’t worry about her questioning your sobriety That’s between you and your higher power.

I have been married for 40 years so I know this has to be tough to be with someone for 22 years and then have to go through this on top of sobriety. Just remember you’re in a good place here there are a lot of good people here that will listen and give good advice if you ask. So please remember you are welcome to come and talk to somebody here if you need and want. There is someone here 24/7 that is willing to listen and give advice if you want.

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Wow, thank you so much, I have been ignoring her, I just come here to vent and get it off my mind, a friend told me to be a duck, as in stay calm on top of the water, but padding like he’ll underneath.

Well that’s not good for your sobriety, and staying sober, specially if it’s not your personality, Besides adults with their minds on straight don’t react they respond in an adult way when possible. And if you have children and or grandchildren after 22 yrs. It’s hard to stay away from her because of family event…
So you just keep the distance whenever possible and when that doesn’t work, never think twice to call for help “dial 911” . Because she always has the upper hand in the face of the law… Most of the time… not that it right, it’s just what it is. And if she’s angry enough and there’s substance involved she’s dangerous, she knows you better than you know you after 22 yrs. Just please be careful.:four_leaf_clover: