Yo Larri, just said a prayer for you bud so some help is on the way. Hit me up if you need to talk to someone, I’m off heroin since nov 18 2016, sober since march 20th 18. The dope is tough to get off of, but will be so worth it. Hang in there brother!!
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As pathetic as this sounds, the thought of never being able to use almost feels like grieving. Something that I took to get me through the hard times is not an option anymore, and I don’t know if I will ever be able to feel that good on my own. I know this feeling passes, but when you feel like you got hit by train and can’t get comfortable for even a little bit, it’s hard to get depressed. Part of me doesn’t feel ready to give up dope and again is telling me to get clean long enough to have no tolerance to it so using will feel good again instead of just being maintenance. The 3rd day is usually the worst for me, it stays about the same for a couple of days, then gets easier, but the profuse sweating, hot-and-cold, and messed up sleep are always the last to go. Nothing helps with the sleep. Everyone says to try benzos, but those do nothing for me either. Was going outside helpful for you?
Hey Spunky,
Not in the condition to do much of anything, honestly. I’m mostly in bed with the TV on.
I’m proud of you for quitting. How do you cope with the anxiety?
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It’s hard to say when you feel awful overall, but it seemed like I felt a little worse after the kratom wore off. I would also take up to 8 capsules 3 times a day, which seems like a lot, but it’s the only way I felt ok. Kratom probably varies in quality depending on where you get it from. I say rip the band-aid off and go completely cold turkey if you can. Drink plenty of water even if you don’t feel like getting up for it. Get everything out of your system as quickly as possible. You can beat this.
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Thank you so much. It’s great that you’ve been able to stay away for that long. Don’t look back. How are you doing now? Do the cravings go away after that much clean time? I don’t think I’ve ever gone more than a month without using.
Nothing worked for me sleep aid wise either and i tried it all. My friend gave me a seroquil which gave me one night to sleep. It did help after 2 weeks to get out. The first week i hardly left the bed or bathroom. Then i slowly started getting out and doing things and going back to work. I probably couldnt have went to work the first week. This will get better i can promise you that. It all does stop and get better eventually you just have to be patient.
And thats not a pathetic thought as it was the same for me too. I didnt wanna totally give it up but i wanted to get thru the detox so i accepted that part. By the time i started to feel good i didnt miss it at all. I dont even hardly remember the rush from the needle anymore. I dont have much to FOMO about using now. Just get thru the wd for now and focus on that. Make sure you eat when u can or a vitamin supplement until you get a appetite so your body is getting something. You will start to gain alittle wieght after a month but it will balance out…
As pathetic as this sounds, the thought of never being able to use almost feels like grieving. Something that I took to get me through the hard times is not an option anymore, and I don’t know if I will ever be able to feel that good on my own.
This is so relatable. I think the problem is we have fucked up our brain so much from constantly flooding it with dopamine that it’s easy to feel like you won’t ever be happy again without it. But it’s taken years of abuse to get to that point and we just have to hang in and know that it’s going to take some time for chemical imbalances to level out.
How are you getting on today ?
Well… I still am trying to deal with it. But I just stay busy, and once I feel the anxiety really kicking in I just tell myself -this is still better then the outcome of using-
Maybe your doctor can help with anxiety.
How’s your journey this far?
Third day today…I feel absolutely disgusting but it’s been worse. I haven’t been using for too long before attempting to quit this time. Being home alone for too long drives me crazy too. Getting sober is always a bit of a shock…like “I’m clean, now what? What do I do from here?”. There’s definitely an adjustment period. I have drug dreams often if I’m lucky enough to fall asleep. How are you?
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You’re right. I’m not at the point where I’m able to even go outside yet. Mostly in bed all day and the minutes pass like hours. Got maybe 3 hours of sleep the entire day, dreamt about drugs. It’s frustrating.
What’s new with you?
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Bed time was the worst for me. Tossing and turning all fucking night. Then, if I looked at the clock I would get stressed out because I would have to be up in 2 hours. Maybe try melatonin. Not addictive and can buy anwhere, cheap. If your not leaving the house yet, then good ole amazon. Haha.
I’m doing doing alright. Cold as hell, had a big store snow storm and now it’s raining! HATE IT. I’m on the west coast. I’m not use to the snow. 
How long had you been using if you don’t mind me asking ?
Getting sober is always a bit of a shock…like “I’m clean, now what? What do I do from here?”.
I guess the answer is focus on everything that you have been neglecting because you’re too busy thinking about your next high. Where’s the money going to come from. Meeting your dealer. Withdrawals. Hiding your addiction. The list goes on and on. I never realized until this time around how much I actually hadn’t been living my life and thinking I was. It’s going to be so nice to be able to make plans and not have to worry about if I’ll have drugs so that I’m not sick when they come up.
I’m only on day 4 but for some reason this time around feels a lot different. I actually have some semblance of hope for myself. I think it’s the first time I haven’t made future plans to use for any reason (only on a holiday, just one weekend a month ect) The kratom helped a lot yesterday and the day before. I didn’t take any today and feel surprisingly ok. Anxious for the next week to pass and just keep trying to remind Myself I never have to feel like this again if I don’t want to.
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Man, I’m recovering from alcohol and benzos. Do not start benzos! I’m glad they don’t work for you, honestly. They worked so well for my anxiety and sleep problems, then my tolerance shot through the roof! I was using 5× what I was prescribed by the end. And I never took them to get high, but was inadvertently cutting off the morning after anxiety from drinking. They are more dangerous to detox from than anything else in this world, including alcohol.
Otherwise, how you doing today?
In total, I’ve been using for about 3 years. I managed to stop for a while and then I relapsed and used for about a month before this attempt to quit.
What I meant is that it’s a strange transition. Being high daily became my new normal, and now anything less than that feels like something is off. I hope that changes soon once my brain chemistry balances out.
Don’t make the plans, because there really is no moderation for most people. You’re using or you aren’t, and if you aren’t, better not to take the risk of trying. You’re doing good so far. The discomfort will pass and you’ll be in a much better state. Keep up the good work.
Yeah, I heard detox from benzos can be deadly. The only time I’ve ever had them was when they were prescribed to me to help ease withdrawals. It didn’t help and I never tried them again. It’s good to hear that you’re recovering. I hope you’re safe and quit for good.
I’m actually a better today. Could go outside for a very short distance, but I’m proud of that. I’ve made peace with the fact that I won’t be sleeping for a while though.
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They are prescribed for detox, which is generally an okay thing. Mostly for alcohol and (ironically) benzo detox. If they are prescribed as a taper for detox, well, that’s a much different story than just taking them on one’s own. If they help with detox, I’d never tell someone not to take them. It’s whatever it takes at this point.
I’m glad you have a strong resolve. Keep your head up and you will succeed!
They could also try another anti depression medication that is not a benzo. Usually they are SSRI meds and should also be used as directed and with caution as well. Sometimes it takes a few tries before we figure out whats best. The main thing is to never give up and there is plenty of testimony on this site to prove that this is possible when you dont give up. You yourself have walked the shadows of death like many of us here. Look where we are today living a future we never thought was possible in active addiction …
Yeah I dont blame you. Hot Turkey is much better…
… seriously though, good luck, after you get over the physical component it’s a mental fight, and I mean fight. Just hold on one second at a time and coming here helps. Be well, fight hard…
Wow thanks for the tips. I’m much better now with sleeping and staying sleep. Decided to exercise before going to bed so that I’m tired and stay sleep.
Just keeping focused on my goals and I consider myself lucky because I haven’t had a craving in days (knock on wood).