RAGE! How do you calm down without a drink?

You have a lot of things going on for you. You may feel you don’t have anyone to turn to, I felt like that so many times and drill do occasionally, so I started seeing a psychologist I don’t feel ashamed about it. I think I am alive because of her. So if you can, maybe try and find one.
All the best.

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Wow, you really do live out in the woods eh?

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Thanks. Needed that right now. One of them days…

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@Gabe.G
Yes…I guess I am going to give this more attention. I got half way through that one today…found it very helpful so far. I’m thinking maybe like most things in life, gotta give it more time with AA and chances and take what helps me even if some parts don’t. I am a very spiriitual person but for various reasons that part of their program just isn’t for me and if something makes me uncomfortable I just pull away. Not saying it’s the wise thing to do but can only work on so many things at once…lol

@Jasoningram408
Just wanted to chime in that my brother Jason is the one attempting sobriety with me, in fact he started first, and he also has just lost his wife and kids due to drinking and his anger. He was never violent or abusive with them, but also has untreated bipolar 2 and would self medicate with alcohol and his unstable moods are certainly hard on the family. His wife really tried hard for years to get him to get help. They’ve been married 18 years and have 2 great young teens who are currently devastated to not have him home in their everyday life even though he still sees them a few times a week and talks to them several times a day. Their first child died at 7 weeks old from a heart defect and they even got through that together. But his wife’s demands on abstinence were nothing but a terrible trigger for him and it became toxic. She’s also one of those people who is in complete denial of her own issues and therefore in her mind…all their problems are from his drinking and that is all. He wasn’t out of the house a solid week and she was in the sack with her high school boyfriend…which devastated my brother and our entire family. It reminds of part of Jeff Foxworthy’s act when he says “if she says ‘maybe we should start seeing other people’…you can bet that even if she ain’t ridin him yet, she has definitely cut a pony from the herd!” Lol. Seems very sad , but true at least in this case.
But…even in the middle of all this…knowing his marriage is over and that his main goal is to live for his kids and what’s best for them, he is still trying to be sober. I’m hoping to convince him to come here at some point.
I think he’ll find it as positive as I have, especially seeing how many men are here supporting one another.

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@Benedictine
I want to thank you for that simsple question asking why exactly I was angry.
Looking back now, it got me to focus and type out that silly list of crap that was swirling around like a stinking hurricane in my head, and althoug it didn’t calm me down immediately, throughout the rest of the day as I thought of that list …and I guess how I listed the things out…it took away the power of it all.
If that makes any sense?
Any way…thanks :wink:

I game some sort of FPS or other pvp game, order I run to heavy metal music ooorrr I write down all the things that anger me from what angers me most to the least; then I cross them out while reading them aloud, then I crumple the paper and toss it in the trash. ヽ(´∀`)ノ

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Hi @Sobergal91
Yes…I do have a LCSW currently …she’s one of the best I’ve ever had…for me. Knows just how to deal with me and keep me focused and she;s direct and shoots from the hip with kindness and firmness which is the best for me.
It stinks cause I can only afford to go about twice a month for an hour with my insurance. It sucks that the best physical and mental /emotional healing therapies that actual work and help heal our ailments out there…are never paid for by insurance. So if you’re not’ independently wealthy…tough.
Thanks for chiming in…and listening …coming here today and pouring my heart out really did save me at least for today. Hope you’ve had a good one too? :heart:

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Hi @MissMetal
I LOVE that idea about writing them all down , read them aloud and tossing them out. Definitely doing that!
I actually did take the dog for a ride (too stinking cold and windy to walk even downtown , the only safe place to walk right now…ugh),and cranked my country music and sang…lol…me and my “Gingie” (golden retriever) had some girl time…she’s a good listener.
Gaming is something I’ve never been interested in but maybe I should give it a try till the weather clears up?
I don’t care for anything violent…can you make any suggestions?
Thanks :heart:

@Englishd
LOL…yes. It’s a small town in Maine. About 4 thousand year round residents…everyone knows everyone! That has it’s pros and cons…lol…but mostly pros. The population quadruples in the summer due to the lakes and mountains being the escape everyone south of us need for serenity and solitude. My husband…as I tease him regularly…has never lived outside this one zip code…lol. He’s a townie, local, redneck good o’l boy…a sweetheart…albeit a crazy man…and I couldn’t love him more. l came originally from Massachusetts with my late husband in 1999, and we had the chance in our time together to travel a few places on vacation and see things we wanted to see…i love that. Current hubby has only been outside of New England once in his life, to Boston twice, I think the only other times he’s been to Mass is with me 4 times in 5 years to visit my family…lol. He avoids going to “the city” Portland at all costs…an hour from here and usually has me drive…being a former Massachusetts driver he feels I’m qualified…LMAO…no joke. And the nearest Walmart…30 minutes away is somewhere he’ll go only if he can’t find what he needs here in our little town. He’s been a Logger his whole life…loves the outdoors, the woods obviously, and hunting and fishing, ect and is perfectly happy and comfortable here in our little town. It’s a struggle for me cause while I too love all those things? I still have wander lust …need that change of scenery but struggle to go by myself without him.
Boy…sorry…I really do go on and on. lol
Anyway…yes…quite remote in many ways…haha

@Chezie
thanks…I had to go on the errands but survived…lol and had him push the shopping cart in the store cause it was crowded and I didnt want to hurt anyone…lol…seriously!
Then this afternoon I remembered there is a small private gym in town and I got in touch to join for a month until this dam mud and snow hopefully clears up cause as so many here suggested it’s true…I need to get some kind of excersise not only to get my anger out but to help with this fibro and back pain which is only adding to my stress and making me more angry.
Gonna start on Monday morning right after my PT appointment…Sooo thank you for the push to do that!! :grinning:

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What would you be playing the game on? Then I can steer you in the right direction, or atleast try too. :slight_smile:

Aw! Goldens are the best, my pup is half.

You’re welcome! Yeah, writing them down helps. ヘ(^_^)ヘ

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Well I tried to answer everyone. Thank you all again. I am finally calmed down and the biggest success is it happened without a drink for which I am SO GRATEFUL to everyone here cause I promise you… I never would have made it.
Can’t remember who mentioned it but I did take the suggestion of taking 1/2 an Ativan to take the curse off…thank you for that. I also picked up some more Valerian capsules. I prefer the liquid but it’s not available in town and we’re having a terrible time getting mail delivered…especially Amazon pkgs…another long story…which I’m going to avoid lest I get wond up again! lol.
Took a fist full of valerian and yess , I think it has helped…thankfully they aren’t addictive! Suppertime…this place is wonderful…thanks again :heart:

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umm…idk…I have a laptop, tablet or phone? (android not apple)
lol…Im pretty illiterate with all of this.

Sounds pretty nice up there. I lived in Saranac Lake NY for a while. Similar in a lot of ways. If you think the need is out there you could start a meeting. I’m willing to help.

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I play alot of violent games, but what comes to mind as a recommendation would be, Hearthstone (free to play) card game, that you can play on all three…it’s a blizzard game, so they’re really good at managing their servers etc. You earn more cards, etc. as you go along. Another would be Minecraft, it’s a little silly, I would watch some YouTubes before you get that. Starcraft ll could be another one but it’s complicated, another blizzard game that’s an RTS or real time strategy game. MOBAs (multiplayer online battle arenas) like Dota 2 and Heroes of the Storm are also an option as well. Check out some YouTube’s for those too, the communities certain MOBAs can be toxic but you have an option (which I highly recommend at first) to play against AIs (Artificial intelligence), these allow you to understand map awareness and abilities, etc. :slight_smile:

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I’m addicted to a game called golfclash on my phone. Don’t like golf but love the game!

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I understand it can be expensive,
I also journal which helps when I really angry, also music, anything really that gets my mind off being angry. Goodluck I mean it. You got this.

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Whats Valerian please?

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@Englishd
I’ve heard of that area in NY but have never been. Sounds nice. I do love it here most of the year…all of it that isn’t winter…lol. Just reached that point in my life…and it’s too painful for me in too many ways. Id rather be in Arizona or Texas for the winter.
As far as starting a meeting? I’ll give it some thought. Actually had that on the brain for when I get to the Smart Recovery group…hopefully …next week. We’ll see…thanks again.

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