So I’ve been 66 days sober. Everything seems to be going well the relationship with my wife seems to be working, hardly any arguments. No screaming or yelling over anything really. Mostly it seems like a normal life under normal conditions. I’ve been exposed to alcohol and have managed to stay clean. I am working hard going to meetings but yet I keep having these thoughts about drinking. Images come to mind about having just one beer or trying one of the brands I never had a chance to drink.
The times that I’ve been exposed over the last couple of months it felt so great to just say “ no I’m Ok” and drive home safely without thinking I had a cop behind me or thinking that I might get pulled over.
My anxiety seems to be thru the roof. I keep praying asking God to just let me stay strong and away from all temptations. Yet here I am feeling so vulnerable to this desease. My mind keeps playing tricks on me and the little devil on my left shoulder keeps telling me it’s ok to have one. I know where it leads I know it’s progressive. Why am I even thinking about it? I know I can’t stop drinking by drinking.
I am afraid to lose my family, wife and kids. It’s so overwhelming sometimes I just want to throw in the towel. It sucks to be in this situation. I must stay strong I must hold on. I keep as busy as possible and my God it’s so hard to get a good night sleep. Im eating as if it’s my last meal all the time obsessing over work. Thinking about reaching out to women that helped me live a double life with infidelity. I just want to be me without any substance. Why is this happening? I don’t want to fail me again.
I promise you my man sticking with it is gonna feel so much better in the long run.Your gonna be emotionally better and everything’s gonna work out.Stick in there brother !
Congratulations on your 66 days, your doing brilliant.
Meetings are a really good way to help yourself through these cravings and thoughts.
Face to face are brilliant but also online meetings on zoom are so powerfull too, listening o others stories.
Stay strong, you got this !!
This is a 24 hour meeting code for zoom. You can just join with audio and camera off and just listen in, you wont get called out unless you want to share your experience or how your feeling then you click the hand icon. Otherwise no one will even know you are there 
This is the code for zoom
2923712604
Maybe give it a try for 20 mins just listen in, and see if helps you.
From AA, l learned how to pray. And this from a guy who spent a college year in seminary!
Today I pray to be shown what to do and for the power to do it. I listen for how I might be of service to others. Taking the focus off myself and my complaints needs work, since I do care deeply about getting my needs met!
I got relief from obsessive and unwanted thoughts about alcohol by working on the steps of the AA program, particularly steps 3, 4 and 5. That’s what worked for me.
Alcohol and thoughts about drinking are living rent free in your head. The best way to deal with that, in my experience, is to fill your mind with other things. Don’t give the alcohol the space! This means doing things like listening to sobriety podcasts, calling in to zoom meetings or attending in person, reading books about recovery, or engaging in other passions and hobbies. Get excited about something in your life! There is a whole world of opportunity out there to get involved with. You have to fill the space that alcohol took up. Or it will just be lingering and plaguing you with the draw to numb out. This is what helped me, anyway. I also had to get out in nature and observe, notice all the beauty in the natural world, but that’s just me.
Keep going, no matter what. It’s worth it and you’re worth it.