Rape or not


Hey all…

I just wanted to know.
I had my first black out drunk from alcohol.
(Maybe more but I’m sort of convinced that’s only alcohol)

I had a distance relationship. I felt the moon and back for him. Never ever wanted to cheated on him or so. (4 years)
But in the presence there was always my neighbor, when he got issues in the past I was always there for him. When he got divorced by a borderline girl and got worse I always picked up the kids and so on. Our relationship was never ever more then that.
We had some conversation that he likes me and I always turned him down. He als did some moves and I was always able to kick him off me.

My friend said I was naive and had to charge him for thing but I was like nahhh he was I a bad mood and I got that. I’m better that that and I always said if he was the last man then still don’t

I also told the close people around me and my bf at that time.

That day I went for dinner with kids with my formal partner and said to him I just wanted more from our relationship. And to be more colse.

I know I drunk 4 wine and we went back home and I had a agreement with my neighbor Bc his lawsuit. We celebrated the victory. And it was a drink that a lot above my head normal I only drunk wine but now some kind of drink 50% .

I had the picture of the drunk and that’s it. Next time I woke up was with a headache (sleeping clothes on and nothing that make sense to any kind of things)
and one single picture of him in a way that I was thinking was it a dread or….

I know my neighbor is a guy who picks out girls from internet and so on but I had a weird feeling.

Checked my body nothing special. Or weird.

The next day I confronted him and asked what happens. He said he didn’t know much, but we had sex.
The day after I told my (ex) bf what he said.
He walked away and I think my neighbor finds out I didn’t know any of it.

Long story short the week later

I asked him again and he said alllll the things that happens I did. I pulls him on top of me and so on.
Normally when both have sex do it together but his story was I did this I did this

But my question is……

Is that even possible…

Can drunk cost you that?

Police said yeah his story Against yours and all the people around said yeah typically

But i search so much and can’t find a clue.

In my heart I never ever betrayed my ex.
But is it possible

Oh and not drinking again.

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Sounds like he slipped you something in your drink. Stay away from him, please…!

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I didn’t want to read this and not reply. I don’t know the answer to your question I’m afraid, but it seems entirely possible that it happened. This happened to me when I was drunk, and unfortunately I remember it and saying no.

I would say though that whatever happened, it is obviously upsetting you deeply and you need to talk to someone about it. I am not sure you will get the answers to your questions but you will hopefully be able to process it. I drank my way through it and was lucky to escape even more vulnerable situations (my warped theory was the worst has happened so what does it matter now). Be kind to yourself, stay here and try and work through it. Well done on not drinking as that definitely makes it worse.


Hi. Thanks for you’re answering. Hope you are ok with it now. Seems like hard times.
My neighbor tried it couple times before and I was back then strong enough.
I can’t find any clue for the alcohol. Normally I never blacked out of something like that.

Yes I’m working on a new house now. I never trust him again.
But can this happen so bad from alcohol that black out and not knowing

I do think it’s absolutely possible.



Unfortunately when drunk, the heart isn’t speaking anymore…

Rape ? Personally I wouldn’t consider or call it rape. But I dó consider it abuse when someone is clearly under the influence and unable to make just decisions.

Talk about it, process it. Take care :purple_heart:


That was what I also guessed. Thanks :pray:

Thanks for you’re words. And yes I go to a psychiatrist. This is the worst feeling ever. :purple_heart:

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Glad to hear you can talk about it. Yes, regardless what did or didn’t happen, it still feels like a loss of integrity of our body.

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I agree with @BrOKenWolf here.
Something not too dissimilar has happened to me when I was drunk and I think it’s important to remember that being drunk makes you vulnerable not responsible. Certainly, I know that if I hadn’t been drunk I would know for certain that I had been drugged.
Best case scenario is that he is lying about it but that tells me he’s not someone you should be hanging out with or discussing things with. I bumped into my attacker a few weeks later and he gave me his phone number so that he could explain why he’d done what he had, but to my mind that was just a continuation of the abuse.
I wish you well x


Thanks for you’re words.
It’s horrible to believe Bc all the things he said I was surprised that I would do that.
And I already reported him. Also made warning where I rent my house.

Omg that’s also horrible.
Do you know anything about it? Or also just only his words?

I definitely stay away from him!

Also take care :purple_heart:

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I just have some very hazy memories.
I do know that I’ve learned to be careful who I discuss it with. One boyfriend said I couldn’t have been pushed into the bedroom where it happened, I must have gone in of my own accord. Another female friend thought I had a duty to report it and tried to make me feel bad for deciding not to.

I have also been in a similar situation. I do not know what happened. And I have to make peace with I will never know. And the police would never get involved in such a vague situation. You have to process it and heal yourself. Pm me if you want to talk further.


First off I want to welcome you to The Forum!!

This is a wonderful place full of caring people who are all struggling with addiction from all over the world. the only true Common Thread is the desire to be sober and the reduction of suffering in our lives that our behaviors and substances continuously plague us with.

I don’t know how it works if both parties are intoxicated for neither can give consent and idk how one would know the other is legally drunk without blood/breathalyzer, but as it’s been said in other parts of this thread; regardless of the word we use or the legal ramifications the main point is that you feel violated and that trauma needs to be processed. I am glad you reported it to those who manage your house as well as the police and I’m glad you are distancing yourself from this seemingly dangerous person.

If you don’t mind me asking…

Are you still drinking?
do you do other drugs?
what kind of program are you in if any?

I hope you take time, look around and read on this forum. Its filled with compassionate people that have been through many similar situations and life Choices so you can be sure that you are not alone.

I wish you well, take care.

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Drunk doesnt equal consent!!! Ive had something similar happen a few months ago, im so sorry that happened to you, its not your fault at all & if youre too drunk, you are too drunk to consent. I hate that some men take being drunk as an open opportunity to do things like this to women

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That’s shit.
Yeah I find out if you talk to male the conversation is more different. So that’s why I only discuss it where I feel kind of save.

For me it’s they took the body but not the :heart:

Thanks for welcoming! I found out there are more nice people here then in my real live.

And yes that’s true. I don’t need a word for it it was only my first time ever that I don’t know nothing at all.

And I don’t mind telling u

I quit drinking for a while, then I have a lot of issues and not the help that I needed and drink some time a glass of wine.

Tomorrow starts my first session with a psychiatrist.
August 6th is also a program that helps me with addiction for alcohol, trauma and idk what. But it’s a whole thing.

Thanks for the kind words!

Good luck with it all. Wishing you lots of strength :revolving_hearts:

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