Tonight at our SA Meeting we read from the 12 & 12. The general topic was on working Step 4. However, what got me was a sentence with the words “vengeful resentments, self-pity and unwarranted pride.” OMG this describes how I’ve lived my life for most of my 45 years on this Earth. I have fed and nourished the resentment and unforgiveness for so long. It’s like a huge tumor growing on me. Before starting the 12 Steps I don’t think I could have ever acknowledged this reality about myself. I was too busy justifying my “right” to be hurt and wounded and the victim of a raw deal in life. I don’t want to be that person anymore. Just like I don’t want to numb out on porn and sex anymore. I don’t want to be this miserable, resentful unforgiving soul. I surrender it to God and ask for his forgiveness.
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