Ready to feel good about myself

I’ve done this a million times, but I had a reality check from a friend last night, and I just really want to make it go away. I don’t drink everyday, but when I do drink, they are binges and I get black out drunk. Not healthy for me or my family. I am getting ready to go back to being a stay at home mom in 30 days. So I am looking to kick this off today. Any advice or support on how to make it stick is appreciated. Thank you in advance!!

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Do it for your child/children. Draw from that everyday and when times get tough use it as fuel.

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Yes! Thank you. I was raised by addicts and alcoholics. I feel like I should know better…but here I am. :pensive:

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Day one is over. I made a plan, set some goals and began scheduling my days. I played with my kids, cleaned the house, did some laundry…all things I would have never done on a friday night. I am about to start my meditation practice and get some sleep. I’m heading to the beach with sime friends. I am equipped with a plan to navigate lunch amd bringing plenty of la Croix water with me. The sun and sand should do me some good.

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Find a support group if you don’t have one already. Online groups are great, but easier to ignore when the cravings hit.

Stay busy like you’ve been doing, great job!

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Ha it’s snowing like crazy here right now so the beach sounds amazing!
I am a stay at home mom and can say the transition was very difficult and ultimately one of the main reasons I relapsed. I was highly organized at work and had a very strict schedule and task list but once I was home the open and endless amount of time became overwhelming. I still struggle with it but highly suggest you have structure and schedules and get outside every day as well as schedule meet ups with friends and family as it can be very isolating.
You can do it! The best part is that no matter how hard it is the time at home raising kids is priceless and worth every sacrifice. Somedays it doesn’t feel like it but the good and especially sober/good moments outweigh the bad.
I can say you will have more energy and ability to be the parent you want to be when not dealing with hangovers.

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I am so glad to hear you want to be sober. Congratulations what a huge step. Please do this for your children. I am a stay at home mom as well. I use to drink around them hidden in a solo cup.Even though my son was 6 he could tell something was different about me he would even ask. But he didnt understand. Then I blacked out with him alone at age 7 this year after my Father passed away I started back drinking. He looked at me like I’d never seen before the next day
He said mama what was in those cups. You said mean things to me and told me to go to bed It was only 5. Lucky my husband comes home at 5:30. I remember telling him to go to bed idk why then I remember My husband coming home we fussed & he said I was yelling at our son for no reason. I don’t rem. Then I passed out. Point is what if he hadn’t of came home. When I fully black out I can talk for hours and never have a clue what was said. I get very aggressive to. After that day I never drank again. Please please from one mom to another don’t drink. No child should have to grow up with a parent who drinks all the time or even binge drinks ect. Do it for you child. Keep writing on here. AA meeting if you can. Stay busy and I mean stay busy. Find a hobby you like, reading is good too.Gardening, arts, etc… Get the kids involved with your hobby if you’d like. Stay strong. So proud to have you here and sober!

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@Stac and @StephN, thank you ladies. I definitely have a plan to stay really busy. I also have some irl support this time too. I’ll be helping my husband with his business as well, so that is huge motivation for me not to drink. Just planning each day, and thinking about triggers, and planning to get out of the house when they hit. We don’t keep booze around here and I can easily avoid my spots where I get my drinks, since it is by my soon to be former work place. I am really excited about this transition, and really am motivated to stay sober and be there for my kids.

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The first few weeks aren’t easy…I won’t sugar coat it. I am a binge drinker and I only drank once every month or 2 all my binges are blackouts. Once I got sober the whole knowing I couldn’t drink made it so hard. I was pretty short temperd for a while. But like I said I stayed so busy it made it so much bether. Glad to hear you have a plan in action already
Good for you for doing this not just for you but for your family. It is a very selfless thing to give up something to better you & your kids future. So proud you. If you ever need anything I’m here
We all are. Congratulations on a new and wonderful life. I will be 40 days sober in a few hours and let me tell you I have never been so happy. I don’t fear my future anymore. I am so excited about it.don’t get me wrong I still crave and have bad days. But don’t we all. I take my bad days and go do something for myself. Paint, plant flowers , etc. Good luck and stay with us!

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Wow! 40 days is huge! That is awesome!
I am really proud of myself today. We did a girl’s beach day and I didn’t even feel like drinking. A few of the others were, but the event was not centered around drinking, so that made it easier. Now that I’m home, I’m going to shower and drink my tea. Hang out with my kids. Day 2 success!!:hugs:

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Felt a bit antsy this evening, so I took the boy out to run a few errands with me and ended up getting some DQ. Yay for mini blizzards! It was very helpful for me to get out of my squirmy state and focus on getting aome things done. note the baby girl grabbing for my treat, I was a good mommy and shared*

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That is so wonderful! Lucky you a beach day! Congratulations on another day sober! You can do this!

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Yummy!! And awww… how cute! Us mama’s always share !

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Waking up sober to day 3. I was supposed to roll out of bed an hour ago, but my whole house is quiet, so I took the time to lay in bed and read stories here on the forums. I also got a pretty decent sunburn so moving around does not sound lile fun. So, I’ll share today’s plan till either my dog or my baby decide to wake up and need me. Lol.
We have a busy day today, we have blueberry picking with my coworkers at 9, hubs gets to skip that one, just me and the kids. Then we have some errands to run and then at 3 headed to another beach day, celebrating my gym’s anniversary. (I live in Florida, so you’ll hear about many beach days from me.) :bikini::dark_sunglasses:
Okay, apparently my pup can hear me think about her. So now, I’m out on the porch with her listening to roosters waiting for the sun to rise. That just seems like something a well-adjusted sober person might do. :wink:
A little bit more about my time yesterday…the beach day was a huge thing I organized a few weeks back, and I remember making sure I had a friend to drive me because of course I’d be getting drunk. Originally I had planned the whole event around drinking, so i almost cancelled yesterday so I could avoid it. Guess what, I was the only person who thought that way. One of the gals brought a rum punch, but didn’t drink it all, another brought only two beers, and the other only had one or two.Everyone else drank water with me. I wasn’t jealous that they could moderate like that, i was really just observing behaviors. It is just interesting to me that somehow I’m so broken that I have to be an all or nothing type of person. I know I can’t ever drink again and I’m okay with that today.

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Sunrise pic, I would have waited a bit longer, but the skeeters were still out and I was getting bit.

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@al2017 I love watching the sunrise…feel so blessed to have a new day!
I can relate to what you wrote about watching how others manage alcohol. I know for myself I have had those rare occasions when I drank in moderation and it was then like mind game for myself. I would tell myself, see you can do this moderation thing. But i know that is not true. I can’t. You said it perfectly, I can’t ever drink again and I am ok with that! I am giving myself a life!! Thank you for sharing !

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Thank you @justbreathe77! It was nice to be up early and clear headed before the kids woke up.
Another success today! My afternoon party had a bunch of drinks floating around and I was even offered one, but I just said “no thanks”…and nothing exploded, nobody died, and my kids and I had such a fun and lovely time with our friends.
That’s the kicker for me. I spent an entire weekend not drinking and I had a blast! I think I was way more fun sober and I actually made memories that I won’t mind people retelling later.
I know my first boring weekend will be rough, but I was pretty worried about these events and I rocked it. I can’t help but to be proud. It wasn’t easy, I definitely have a headache and ate a boat load of junk food to compensate for the sugar loss. Also, I am crazy emotional, I was watching my kids play today and I basically had a meltdown, I was so overcome with emotion. :cry::joy:

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Starting of Day 4 with a bang…mondays is deadlift day in my new programming. :drooling_face: woke up pretty easily at 430 and headed out. I have a gym set up on my covered patio, so it’s really nice. Worked my way to a heavy 5 reps and did some accessory work to round it out. I had just taken two weeks off to run a half marathon, so it feels good to weight train again. And I now have a project for the weekend coming up, my gym is nasty and really needs a deep clean. Today is work, and soccer mom duties, then by the time we get home it’s dinner, baths, and bed. Mondays aren’t a trigger day for me, so i am confident about today. It’s thursdays and Fridays that get me though. So I am planning chores and dinners on those days and friday evening I’ll take the kids to the park after dinner.

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I had to really use my inner zen yesterday, I know I said I wasn’t worried anout Monday, but Monday was ready to show me who’s boss. I’m still the boss, but it wasn’t easy. Work was awful, I am leaving soon, so i guess now is the time to nitpick me on every little thing. Kids were just unhappy the whole evening, the baby cried the entire time we were in the car. Got home and hubs had been drinking and not in a nice mood. He’s not mean, just snarky and likes to place the blame on me for everything. I fought the good fight against the ants, finished dinner and laundry and then fell over in a heap. I still have so much to do, so I woke up early to accomplish some computer work, and starting day 5 super stressed. I can do this. I don’t feel like drinking, but I do feel like sleeping and crying. Off to work, and will work on adjusting my attitude!

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Today, I gained perspective. I stopped to really make some goals and really prepare for this transition. I feel like I’m taking on a lot at once, but the hustle is definitely lighting a fire under me. I killed day 5, just ate a ton of sugar though. I know better than to try to kick sugar right now, so I’ll take a bit of pudge in exchange for a clear, motivated brain.

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