I’m new here and I find this a nice way to share our experiences with addiction, so here’s mine.
I’m addicted to sex and yeah it’s a thing. It’s not like being horny all the time, it’s not about having sex regularly…is about a thirst that never goes away, all day, every day. Makes me go crazy. it has been creating critical problems in my relationships, in my health, both physically and mentally. I just cannot stop having sex, to the point I don’t feel any pleasure nor satisfaction at all. Today is the first day of truly recognizing the problem and making a true commitment. I will not be addicted to sex anymore.
Welcome. I’m relatively new here too. I am also a sex addict and have found this community of people very kind and understanding. Addiction is addiction. We all have that in common. Feel free to message me, I know of many great groups on zoom for SA and SAA. You’re not alone
Hey Francis, glad you found your way here. Admitting the problem is a great first step, recognizing we can’t do it on our own is even better.
If you can say this sentence and hold true to it, then I would say you might not be a sex addict. All my wishing and pleading and vow-making ended with a relapse that was worse than the one before.
On top of that, I came to recognize that the acting out sexually was just a symptom of all the other conditions that I medicated by blissing out with whatever drug I chose that day. Those conditions lead me back to acting out no matter how much I swore I could get clean through sheer willpower.
If you can, then you’re not the hopeless variety like me. I wish you well.
I am a sex addict. I lost a marriage and my children to it, and had severe legal consequences. I strongly recommend SAA. It saved my life and I am gratefully sober today.
Thank you all for sharing. I feel unexperienced in front of you people. I’m experimenting with an understanding “let’s see how much time I can go without sex”
13 hrs now and counting…already feeling the need, but I’m keeping my focus on studying. let’s see where I fall, tomorrow I’ll fall an inch farther.
Hi @Francis, @Azila, @BryanC, so nice to meet you all! Yes Francis sex addiction is a thing. (There’s a whole discussion about inclusion and terminology in diagnostic manuals but that’s largely irrelevant here; if there’s a problem, there’s a problem - and decades of experience with SA, SAA, SLAA, and other programs has shown that addiction recovery programs work for this problem.)
And if there’s an addiction, there’s a pathway to recovery.
Patrick Carnes opens his book “Facing the Shadow” by saying that addiction is escape. Whether it’s drugs, love, or sex, whatever we’re chasing is an escape. So - what we need is to work on whatever’s making us run.
That takes a lot of forms but for most people it involves some kind of systematic look at their addiction, their self, their emotions, and their history. It involves unpacking a lot of personal experience.
@Francis do you have a program you’re using to walk through your recovery?