I really want to drink today, thought about hurting myself. A lot of tough stuff is happening in my family, how I usually cope is to drink. I am a month sober…but I feel so weak today 
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I’m so sorry to hear that Krystina. It’s so hard when things are rough at home - you feel alone.
One thing you know for sure is drinking will not make it better - and it will make a lot of things worse.
One thing I like to do when life’s got me down is just try to accept it, not try to bury it. I spent so many years of my life running from “down” feelings. I forgot that I can ride them like a wave - and eventually they pass. “This too shall pass”.
I’m sorry you’re feeling down. I know it’s hard.
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I like that you came here and reached out. You knew you were feeling weak and so you came to a place where you could get support. That is really good. It is really really good.
I don’t know what is happening in your family, but I can tell you that my approach to difficult events in my life has been to look at what is happening and figure out if my response has been the best one. Could I do better? Could I be better? If I feel wronged, how did my actions contribute to the situation? Answer honestly, accept it, then think of how you could do better the next time. Maybe you decide you did nothing to contribute to a situation. Still, how could you do it better? Always looking at how you can do better.
Maybe there is sickness and death in your family, I don’t know. I have had a family member die recently and three are hospitalized. It’s easy to beat yourself up and think you should have spent more time with them, but that’s not useful. Who is there now and how will you make the time with them mean the most?
The key here is that the only thing you truly have control over is you and what you will do now, and right now you can control what you take into yourself and how you choose to respond to what is happening around you. If you really think about it, that is very liberating. You might not have control over anything else that is happening right now, but you have control over how you will respond.
I hope everything works out for you. But you are not weak. You are here. You are strong.
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You are a lot stronger than you realize. You came here, you’re reaching out. That requires strength and courage.
Early on, stress, frustration, worry, anger, etc were all triggers for me and coping was not easy, but it is possible. What helped was:
- Meditation
- Going for a walk
- Working out
- Cuppa tea in a quiet place
- Journaling
These things won’t make your problems go away, but it does help recenter yourself so that you can handle it, which you and I both know that drinking won’t do that.
Good luck!
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AA meetings have pulled me up out of low spots. I find fuel there to keep going when I know on my own I cannot take another step.
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Hi @Kpekala I hope you’re feeling a bit better today and things are OK. Sorry to hear you’re going through a bad time.