Reasons for fighting


#222
  1. I’d like to believe that all my struggles have given me something, but the only way to gain is to triumph.

  2. I want to be the one in control of me.

  3. I feel more out of the fog the longer I’m free of the addiction.


#223
  1. It’s not the way to feel alive. It only kills me inside more. Feeling alive is the opposite route.

  2. I’ve almost reached a month.

  3. There are things I can’t do until I get past this addiction.


#224
  1. I don’t like the way it makes me distrust myself.

  2. I don’t want to wonder about it every time something related comes up.

  3. I do have the potential for a good future, I just need to believe it and act accordingly.


#225

Relapse after almost a month. Was spiralling long enough that I saw it coming. So now I’ve just got more reasons.

  1. I don’t feel like writing after relapsing.

  2. It didn’t fix anything, I’ve just been set back farther.

  3. I dislike getting angry, so I generally don’t. But I was in a terrible mood after relapsing so I was snappish to people who didn’t deserve it.


#226
  1. This takes a toll on my self esteem

  2. I’m not available for things I need to be

  3. I can’t connect to people when I’m so deeply entrenched this this self focus.


#227
  1. When the going gets tough I don’t want who I am to get going as well.

  2. I’m worth more than this.

  3. As long as I continue to hide behind my issues I’ll never move forward.


#228
  1. It’s hard to feel motivated when I feel worthless.

  2. This could take me into dangerous paths

  3. This isn’t how I want to be associated


#229
  1. My kids
  2. My Mom
  3. God

#230

I’d suggest putting you on that list, sobriety is a selfish game. When we use, we’re the only person that really matters, same goes for sobriety. Has to be us first.

Helping and caring for others is a tool we can use to achieve and maintain sobriety for ourselves.


#231

Agreed. when I stopped getting clean for my son or for my wife or for this or that and started do it for me, I started to become much more successful at staying clean. As one guy told me getting clean is easy its staying clean that’s the hard part.


#232

I like that thought. I never thought about it that way before


#233

Amazingly when we put ourselves first, get sober, everything else seems to fall in line. Family relations become easier to repair, our health takes a turn for the better, finances improve. It all starts with us, we are the eye of the storm whirling a destructive path.


#234

That is very true. Ultimately we need to do this for us and in most cases in our time and in our own way. We can say today is the day but not feel that commitment and if that commitment isn’t there then your just stuck in the same rut.


#235

1038400726%

We can even truly meam it, in all honesty when we say it, then fall flat on our face. I advocate working a program like Smart, AA or IOP for this very reason.


#236
  1. I want to stop having to “make up” for screw ups

  2. Life seems to have a pattern of making things especially rough for me. If I can kill this trial I can tackle the next ones.

  3. I’d like to stop feeling guilty and down.


#237
  1. I’m … really down right now. I’d like to cap off my descent into darkness and start moving up.

  2. I’ll surely worsen my pathetic wrists with my carelessness.

  3. I miss wanting to write. I’m not motivated for anything now.


#238
  1. I need to work on connecting emotionally to people. This addiction attacks that.

  2. I can’t become comfortable with my bad distortions and defenses. I don’t want to hurt people the way I have been.

  3. I want to be worthy of the challenge my goals are. I know I can be.


#239
  1. I don’t want to quit. Rule 1 of survival is don’t quit. You can take breaks and cry and scream at the heavens but you can’t quit.

  2. I’ve got to teach myself what’s healthy and right because no one else is going to. This isn’t either.

  3. If my head’s at peace I can start going new routes and challenging myself instead of being in survival mode.


#240
  1. I’m disappointed with what I have been

  2. If I feel capable I won’t be so anxious

  3. Grandparents coming over. No suspicious behavior.


#241
  1. I want to be able to return the kindness other’s give me

  2. I don’t want to keep feeling empty, but at some point I’ve got to decide emptiness is better than these temporary highs

  3. I deserve respect. So I need to treat myself that way.