Reasons for fighting

Life in Recovery
164

The main reasons I’m fighting is as selfish as it sounds is 1 for myself if I don’t do it for myself then I’ll never make it and 2 for my wife and son who deserve a clean coherent husband and dad.

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165

Selfish reasons are reasons, so good as any in my book. :slight_smile:

166

  1. I’m almost to double digits

  2. I kind of fell out with some of my good habits, I need to be careful while I’m getting back in.

  3. It will never give me what it promises.

167

  1. Mom just did another round of chemo and I can tell she’s exhausted.

  2. I always get so scared from dreams of messing up, so clearly it’s a bad thing.

  3. I just joined an art challenge for a fandom, I want to see it end clean.

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168

  1. I’m healthier now than I’ve been probably… ever? This is the big thing bogging me down.

  2. I’m a friggin adult and I have no licence and so far I’ve taken every excuse not to work on it. I don’t need more.

  3. What my brain perceives as the freedom of “giving in” is the opposite and I’m sick of being a puppet.

169

  1. When I relapse, I feel like all my prospects have shrunken into a little stifling box. I’d like them to feel like an open horizon.

  2. I want to be someone who can grow and learn from their mistakes, because villains never do.

  3. In order to be in control I need to know myself. I am the only thing in my power and hiding away what I am only sends me further out of control.

170

  1. Tomorrow is my friend’s memorial service. I’m not sure if I’m going, I have a tough time with that stuff, but I’d like to be reverent all the same.

  2. There’s only so long I can fail to do something before I finally do it. Maybe this will be the time I succeed.

  3. I don’t like feeling helpless.

171

  1. I’ve been feeling really good lately and I don’t want to stop

  2. There are people who look at me and think I’m great. I’d like to agree with them for once.

  3. I’ll sleep better beyond this

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172

  1. This will not fulfill me. It won’t make any of the things hurting me feel better, it won’t help in any of the areas I want.

  2. I’m working on keeping my good habits that I’ve developed. That will be hard if I’m feeling lousy.

  3. I’d like to update my writing before the end of this year, which sounds like a long time but I have no time sense. It needs to be sooner or I’ll forget.

173
  1. I’d like to be able to serve the people who need it.
  2. I want to put this behind me.
  3. I don’t want this to be the darkness that follows me.
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174

  1. I don’t consider myself a very determined person. Whether or not that’s the case, fighting through this will help there.

  2. My uncle might be coming over soon, I’d like to be as far from this as I can be while he’s here.

  3. The better coping I have, the more stable and reliable I’ll be. That’s something I want.

175

  1. If you’ve ever seen something you regret seeing, and it rots your brain for the next week, that’s me rn. A relapse would definitely be what I don’t need.

  2. I’m planning on making sourdough waffles tomorrow. I’d like to not feel like trash.

  3. I want to feel closer to God. That’s always been a complicated thing.

176

I am the same Miss_B, I am on day 12. Good luck and keep going.

177

  1. I was anxious and overworked myself because coping. But now I feel accomplished and don’t want to ruin that.

  2. If my mom’s feeling well enough we’re planning to go to a garden show. I don’t want to take away any of the joy from that.

  3. I seem to be on a low self-esteem bend. Fun. Got to work through that one.

178

  1. I’m getting sick. I’d like to not be feeling worse.

  2. Everything I do on this path I’ll have to accept the consequences for at some point. I’d like to lessen them.

  3. Tomorrow’s Sunday. I’d like to keep it clean.

179

  1. I have goals again. For a long time I didn’t have anything besides just surviving, but lately I’ve been thinking about things in the future. Things I want. And now that I have goals I don’t want to ruin them.

  2. When I relapse I feel restricted, because I don’t want anything good to suffer from my choices so I avoid it.

  3. My dad is pretty stuck in his ways. His problems and feelings always seem to outweigh everyone else’s. My mom is always working to improve. She’s got every reason to complain but does her best to remember everyone else, even to the point where sometimes we have to step back to make sure she’s okay. Things my dad has said and done have left me resentful and hurt. My mom is my rock, and I can’t imagine life without her.

I know who I want to be like, and I know which direction following this addiction will take me.

180

1.) I want to feel better. I don’t want this guilt to haunt me the rest of my life.
2.) I want to be a true and supportive friend to those around me. I can’t do that if I’m a mess on the inside and out.
3.) I want that independent spirit. But I also want people to feel like they can trust and count on me. I’ve got God to take care of me now. I’m happy to have him on my side.

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181

  1. I’m so freaking sick and everything sucks, relapsing will make that even worse.

  2. I can’t freaking sleep as it is, don’t want to make it worse.

  3. Giving in won’t fix anything, won’t make it better or more manageable. It’ll just suck.

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182

  1. Because I value myself and my health. I want to live a long and happy life, free from the chains of addiction.:raised_hands:

  2. Because drinking only lowers me to a lesser version of myself, it does not add anything to my personality nor my experience :no_good_woman:

  3. Ain’t nobody got time fo that !!!Too much to do, too little time :tipping_hand_woman:

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183

  1. If I always give in to what I feel like, it will create a pattern.

  2. I don’t want to see myself as a weak person. I’ve always valued strength.

  3. If I keep breaking good things one day I won’t be able to fix any of it.

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