This one is extremely difficult for me too. This fine line where I am not drawn into the pits of anger or self-pity but at the same time don‘t turn away from all my feelings. I mean sometimes I just have to get away from my feelings and distract myself. 
Recently I‘ve been doing this daily mindfulness course on Insight Timer and one of the exercises there was to register all the experiences and feelings and name them when they come up. In the end they change with such a speed I barely get to name one and then the next one comes up.
So this experience that no matter what feeling, emotion, experience, thought, whatever might be bothering me, actually does fluctuate immensely and even disappears under all the other stuff even if it feels very solid, I found this direct experience of constant change very helpful. I use this technique when stuff feels overwhelming.
But you know, I think this is one of the ways of actually letting go! No? Different than avoidance, but more of a setting down whatever we’re ruminating on, even if just for a time. Not holding on to it. Nor saying eff it. Just setting down for a bit.
Heck, someone in my sangha recommended the rubix cube… 
I never thought of it that way, but it makes sense. Except the rubix cube…those are frustrating…lol
You are right, distraction is way better than useless ruminating.
100% understand why this is important. For mevl its extremly some times. For example, the issues I am having with the youngest…its just so darn hard to verbalize what I am actually feeling.
Tonight, we read from this part of the book. I could read it a hundred times and it wouldn’t get old… 
We start to recover when we let ourselves believe in and rediscover our pure, radiant, and courageous heart where we find our potential for awakening resides. Who were we before the world got to us? Who are we beyond the obsession of our conditioned minds? Who are we beneath all our walls and heartbreak? Despite the trauma, addiction, fear, and shame, there is a still and centered part of us that remains whole. There is a part of us that’s not traumatized, that’s not addicted, that’s not ruled by fear or shame. This is where wisdom comes from, and it’s the foundation of our recovery.
If you’re at the beginning of your recovery journey, it may seem impossible to access this part of you. But you’re here because you already have.
I love this and believe it wholeheartedly. 
I wish I would have started with Dharma. That reading is by far my favorite. We arent broken people, we are just people.
The part about every time your buttons get pushed. I read that passage when I started this path. I learned a lot about myself when my buttons got pushed.
Seeing the struggles I have had with the youngest and my “buttons”, I absolutely love that you posted this today. I needed it as a reminder.
I love this thread, thank you 
Seems one of us posts something that always helps one or more of us. That’s lovely and special.
I thinl this is where I am stuck with the youngest…if i react…it will be thevsimilar way I always do…and that just doesnt work.
I get a lot of practice with our grandson, sometimes I break the cycle, oftentimes, not so much…which I then regret. I appreciate how much more aware and thoughtful my daughter is at parenting than I ever was.
From the Pocket Thich Naht Hnh
One day a monk asked Chao-Chou to speak to him about Zen. Chao-Chou asked, “Have you finished your breakfast?” “Yes, master, I have eaten my breakfast.” “Then go and wash your bowl.” “Go and wash your bowl.” This is the same as saying, “Go and live a realized life.” Instead of giving the student some explanations about Zen, the master opened the door and invited the young man to enter the world of reality. “Go and wash your bowl.” These words contain no secret meaning to explore or explain. They are a simple, direct, and clear declaration. There is no enigma here, nor is this a symbol. It refers to a very concrete fact.
Alcohol prevented me from “washing my bowl”. Keeping with the metaphor, in early sobriety I was always washing the dishes.
I have no complaints about my life now. However, its become so full, I dont think that I wash my bowl every day…i need to work on this.
Today’s random opening page ;
(The highlight stickers I used when I first got this book. To highlight what stuck out to me at that time)
Take what is shown to you how you will 
Learning shame can be positive is a profound concept.
Ya know…i just read and caught up on the no sugar thread. Started thinking about leaving it and giving up trying to eliminate sugar. Why? Shame! I just cant seem to get a handle on it. I stopped, came here and re read what you posted.
Thank you, friend!
Learning shame, yes your right it can be a positive concept.
I think I carry Shame around and it causes me to avoid situations etc… anxious mind.
If I just see the positives in it life would be more calm and peaceful!
Easier said than done but always a work in progress