I thought of you when I read this quote from “The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics)” by Pema Chödrön -
“It might feel like stretching into make-believe to say, “May this person who is driving me crazy enjoy happiness and be free of suffering.” Probably what we genuinely feel is anger. This practice is like a workout that stretches the heart beyond its current capabilities. We can expect to encounter resistance. We discover that we have our limits: we can stay open to some people, but we remain closed to others. We see both our clarity and our confusion. We are learning firsthand what everyone who has ever set out on this path has learned: we are all a paradoxical bundle of rich potential that consists of both neurosis and wisdom.”
from “The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics)” by Pema Chödrön -
“Aspiration practice is different from making affirmations. Affirmations are like telling yourself that you are compassionate and brave in order to hide the fact that secretly you feel like a loser. In practicing the four limitless qualities, we aren’t trying to convince ourselves of anything, nor are we trying to hide our true feelings. We are expressing our willingness to open our hearts and move closer to our fears. Aspiration practice helps us to do this in increasingly difficult relationships”
from “The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics)” by Pema Chödrön -
“In cultivating loving-kindness, we train first to be honest, loving, and compassionate toward ourselves. Rather than nurturing self-denigration, we begin to cultivate a clear-seeing kindness. Sometimes we feel good and strong. Sometimes we feel inadequate and weak. But like mother love, maitri is unconditional. No matter how we feel, we can aspire to be happy.”
When I got sober, I realized I needed to start loving myself. For the most part I do. There are days that I get stuck in my head and lov8ng myself stops. It is a vicious circle of events when that happens.
Unconditional friendliness. Gotta love it Scott, Ty. And especially thx dear Ani Pema!
May I use my loving parent voice when shame arises.
Being sober does a tonne of good for my mental health
Thank you Almighty Father for your loving presense and guidance
I just read one of your threads and thought maybe another option to help your journey might be useful. Take a look, maybe you find something that will help.
from “The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics)” by Pema Chödrön -
“That we close down is not a problem. In fact, to become aware of when we do so is an important part of the training. The first step in cultivating loving-kindness is to see when we are erecting barriers between ourselves and others”
I really love the quotes you share here. They always give me food for thought.
I also have now established a bit of a routine of joining Recovery Dharma online meetings several days a week. I always opt for an evening meeting, the ones that are at 8pm/9pm in my time zone. I feel this is a great day to wind down. I get to be in a welcoming environment with caring people who are all involved in recovery somehow. The meditation always gets me to come back to the present moment and focus on my needs for the evening. The reading relaxes me. The shares fill me with compassion and gratitude. After that I always feel at peace and relaxed.
Just wanted to share this and encouraged everyone who may be considering to join an online meeting.
I’m really into my mantras these days. It seems all Indian and Hinduism to me and I’m very fascinated by it all. I’m also finding it overwhelming. Like where to begin? What to read? Do I want to begin?
I’m going to book mark your thread and read a little of it each day. See what I can find.
Is there an easy read for a beginner. I say easy read because I don’t learn good from reading I learn very well from doing though.
Anyway. I’m glad this thread got bumped up today and I saw it. Looking forward to reading what y’all are doing or learning. And how you be an.
Oh I betcha Scott’s got a ton o’ great refs! and welcome here, friend. This is my other home thread, and the dharma path made something click for me. My sobriety became recovery, and my path of recovery and my life’s path one. I think this is prob how all programs work? Good thing there are different ones, so we can each find what works for us.
Here’s a link to the book. Very readable. Maybe a good place to start?
And a long overdue thank you to @SassyRocks for the words from Sharon Salzburg! In one sense, it’s an immense relief to always be at the beginning, to learn to see things that way, to be so open
Hey Eric,
if you are more of a doing-type-of-person and don’t get much out of reading texts by yourself I can wholeheartedly recommend trying out a meeting, even an online one.
You get to be with likeminded people, practice meditation (THE core buddhist practice), a portion of the book will be read aloud and then shares. The way the meeting is structured, often the shares will be somewhat related to either the meditation or the reading.
This way you get to experience a communal and experience based approach to the practice and the principles behind it.
Can’t recommend it enough.
Pay close attention to the experience of heavy handedness or light touch in the way you go about your life. In the cultivation of loving kind-ness, it can be a struggle to try to do the right thing—is it possible to discover a glimpse of spaciousness within that struggle?
From working with the Slogans of Atisha. A practical guide to leading a compassionate life by Judith L. Lief
I learn very well from doing though.
