Hi @acromouse
Thank you so much for this advice. I tried a meeting yesterday, but they started off with required introductions, and i panic-left. I’ll try another meeting today. I couldn’t explain to myself afterwards why it would have been a problem to introduce myself. I really do want to give RD a chance, i think it sounds like a great program. I probably need to be braver. I really appreciate all the information.
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hows that work with stopping alcohol completely 
. 
I can relate a whole lot to this - I’ve still to go to an in-person meeting and only lurk in the big 24 hour AA zoom
Recently learned about RD tho and it does appeal a lot more than the more Christian and Alcohol centred AA culture I’ve found so far - hoping there’s something at my local recovery centre gonna try to be brave a go there tomorrow - probably not make a meeting but honestly just crossing the threshold will be a big step in the right direction
Also just wanna follow this thread to learn more about RD tbh - Christians make me nervous tbh lol
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I totally get the panic-left thing. If this were my first meeting, I would have left as well.
There are some affinity meetings I know of that will require visual identifikation.
Just try a few meetings until you find one that works for you. The courage will come over time.
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Probably would require work with subconscious mind, to program one’s body into alcohol not bringing effects that it does 
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My counsellor told me about Plum Village yesterday. Very intriguing and interesting. I was raised in a Catholic home but have had no interest in it for many years but always wanted to learn more about Buddhism. This seems a perfect introduction.
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Went to one of their retreats a few years ago and really enjoyed it.
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Hey @Bekah212
Did you find a RD meeting? I still haven’t. This week was crazy just with life, but I still intend to follow up and try another virtual one.
I did virtual AA meetings for a long time, and i could never fully buy into the program because of the higher power and christian focused rhetoric. It made me nervous too. I grew up super catholic but i am notttt that anymore. I think its cool that there are so many other programs out there to check out. I wish I’d found them sooner.
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Thank you so much, i will!
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Hey Madds, I’m a former altar boy, and a former seminarian. My mother’s twin sister is a teaching nun, and we had a priest who was in grad school move in with us for a few months. So yeah, pretty catholic. And I got kicked out of seminary for lousy grades, drinking, and having a girlfriend. By 10 years after that, I was making my first attempt to get sober and leaving the church because I was divorced and felt abandoned and lied to by the church generally and specificially.
I got sober some years later in AA. It’s pretty fascinating for me to see all the interpretations of higher power that there are, religious ones, spiritual ones, humanistic ones, and it all comes down to what can help me get and stay sober. My first higher power in sobriety was the Department of Corrections - they directed my actions and they really did want me to stay sober and out of trouble. They had my best interest at heart.
When it comes to spirituality and higher power definitions, I’ve been spoiled by where I got sober, in Vermont. The state has a majority of unaffiliated or non-religious people, and a sizable population of the lefty churches, Universal Unitarian, Quaker and the like, and strong Buddhist, Muslim, and Jewish communities. And we all get along. It’s been my experience that this core principle of AA, that our dilemma is lack of power, gets interpreted through local custom. But I also think that we do a pretty good job, in AA, of practicing tolerance - though at times we do have to seek it out.
The essentials of the AA program, to me, are connection to something larger (humanity as a whole, Divinity, whatever) and changes in our attitudes, thoughts and actions regarding alcohol and our insufficient coping mechanisms that alcohol subverted.
I hope you find your home in the recovery world, I know for me that Talking Sober is a big part of it.
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I didn’t, there’s a recovery centre near me that all kind of different groups use that I tried to go to the other day but ended up having a panic attack 
maybe next time I’ll try going on a quieter day ig
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I use the chat for that I’ll just be like I’m me from here and just listening. They’ll read it at the end of intros. Quite a few do that.
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I never thought about it but the department of corrections was my first higher power also years ago before I had one or new of AA !! Never heard that before but it’s the truth for me and I’m sure a lot of people. Even though my higher power is currently the universe or Mother Nature I would say the department of corrections is my other higher power considering the felony probation I’m on at the moment
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That’s smart, thanks so much! If i get in that pickle again I’ll give it a try
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Thank you for relating and for explaining a bit of how AA could work in a different context of understanding. I appreciate you taking the time to reply.
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I have terrible social anxiety and hide a lot of my recovery so I make do to make the most of what I can do comfortably. The RDO meetings are my favorite. They have many kinds of special types of meetings like woman only, verse (poetry and one of my favorites) along with general all throughout the day. If you search RDO (online & online I do to have zoom only). I hope this helps. 
"Safeguarding intelligence from corruption by lower desires
Our intelligence is designed to counter our lower desires, not to serve them. However, we all have desires that can bring out the worst in us. These desires often arise due to external triggers but eventually lead to internal turmoil, as seen in the case of addictions.
Intelligence helps us recognize the consequences of indulgence and protect ourselves. Unfortunately, when these desires grow strong enough, they can corrupt intelligence itself. The Bhagavad-Gita (3.40) warns that lower desires can infiltrate not just the senses and mind but also intelligence.
For example, an alcoholic with sound intelligence might avoid situations that trigger drinking, but one whose intelligence is corrupted may use it to conceal their indulgence, such as limiting consumption to avoid detection or using substances to mask the effects of alcohol. This corruption can be exploited commercially through products designed to conceal indulgence.
When intelligence is corrupted, it stops acting as a protector and becomes an enabler for indulgence. If we notice our intelligence justifying or hiding indulgence, it’s crucial to seek intellectual cleansing. Immersion in wisdom texts like the Bhagavad-Gita can help us refocus and counter the corruption of intelligence.
Summary:
Intelligence is meant to counter lower desires, but strong desires can corrupt it, turning it into an enabler.
Corrupted intelligence often focuses on concealing indulgence rather than preventing it.
Intellectual cleansing through wisdom texts can help restore intelligence to its protective role.
Think it over:
Recall an instance when your intelligence protected you from lower desires.
Reflect on a time when your intelligence was focused on concealing signs of indulgence.
Identify sources of intellectual cleansing, such as specific books or practices, that you can keep accessible for yourself.
03.40 The senses, the mind and the intelligence are the sitting places of this lust. Through them lust covers the real knowledge of the living entity and bewilders him"
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