Been a few days. Picked up the book and read. Been crazy with work and at home projects
“No matter how skillfully we act, the external world—people, places, and things—might not give us what we want. This does not mean we have “bad karma,” or that we’ve failed. It just means that we’re not in control of everything and everyone. The point is that, regardless of what the outside world throws at us, we’re responsible for how we respond to it and how we tend to our internal world. At the end of the day, we have the choice whether we go to bed as somebody who acted wisely and compassionately, or as somebody who didn’t.”
In Zen Shorts the story was that the woman being carried was ungrateful not that they were forbidden from touching women and that version resonated with me more. If you have kids who like picture books (or are an adult kid who likes picture books) it is a good purchase.
I will take a look at it. I am slowly getting back into reading. When I got sober I read anything I got my hands on. As time went on, I filled my life with so many things…books took a back seek
So far my journey has been wonderful, and I am truly blessed that I have changed paths in sobriety. Seems like whether its reading or meetings or feeble attempts at meditation…I gain insight into myself at a level I haven’t had before.
This tidbit has resonated with me tonigh
From Recovery Dharma
“Compassion rests on the renunciation of harming living beings and is not only the wish, but also the intention to put an end to their suffering. We need to open our hearts—not just our minds—to all the suffering that is here, that is experienced in the world. Compassion is not only a feeling: it is an action.”
Action sticks out…ensuring our actions dont hurt others is compassion.
from “The Pocket Pema Chodron (Shambhala Pocket Classics)” by Pema Chödrön -
“ON a very basic level all beings think that they should be happy. When life becomes difficult or painful, we feel that something has gone wrong. According to the Buddhist teachings, difficulty is inevitable in human life. For one thing, we cannot escape the reality”
“WHEN we cling to thoughts and memories, we are clinging to what cannot be grasped. When we touch these phantoms and let them”
Part of why we relapse or think we can moderate…we cling to the “glory days”…an edited version of our past…like all history…written about the good stuff…
from “The Pocket Pema Chodron (Shambhala Pocket Classics)” by Pema Chödrön -
“Everybody knows the pain of getting what we don’t want: saints, sinners, winners, losers. I feel gratitude that someone saw the truth and pointed out that we don’t suffer this kind of pain because of our personal inability to get things right.”
Today was total dog shit. Work since the pandemic hasnt been easy, every day brings a new struggle.
This passage stuck out…life sometimes sucks because it’s just life. Kill myself working wont change that.
from “The Pocket Pema Chodron (Shambhala Pocket Classics)” by Pema Chödrön -
“We have two alternatives: either we question our beliefs—or we don’t. Either we accept our fixed versions of reality—or we begin to challenge them. In Buddha’s opinion, to train in staying open and curious—to train in dissolving our assumptions and beliefs—is the best use of our human lives.”
In today’s world this is more important than ever. This is why I am on this path, to challenge my beliefs…to be open and curious.
from “The Pocket Pema Chodron (Shambhala Pocket Classics)” by Pema Chödrön -
“WE can learn to rejoice in even the smallest blessings our life holds. It is easy to miss our own good fortune; often happiness comes in ways we don’t even notice.”
As a drunk, I could never find happiness. Life was a bitch, everyone would fuck up my life…and it pissed me off.
I got sober
I noticed happiness was all around me, I was just to drunk, to self centered to notice. Even on life’s dark days, there are things that we can be happy about.
from “The Pocket Pema Chodron (Shambhala Pocket Classics)” by Pema Chödrön -
"Have no expectations, just be kind
A MEDITATION student I was working with, whom I’ll call Dan, had a serious alcohol and drug problem. He was really making great strides, and then he went on a binge. On the day I found out about it I happened to have an opportunity to see my teacher Trungpa Rinpoche. I blurted out to him how upset I was that Dan had gone on a binge. I was so disappointed. Rinpoche got really angry; it completely stopped my heart and mind. He said that being upset about Dan’s binge was my problem. “You should never have expectations for other people. Just be kind to them,” he told me. In terms of Dan, I should just help him keep walking forward inch by inch and be kind to him—invite him for dinner, give him little gifts, and do anything to bring some happiness to his life—instead of having these big goals for him. He said that setting goals for others can be aggressive—really wanting a success story for ourselves. When we do this to others, we are asking them to live up to our ideals. Instead, we should just be kind."
Something for me to be mindful when helping others.
“IN one of the first teachings I ever heard, the teacher said, “I don’t know why you came here, but I want to tell you right now that the basis of this whole teaching is that you’re never going to get it all together.” I felt a little like he had just slapped me in the face or thrown cold water over my head, but I’ve always remembered it. There isn’t going to be some precious future time when all the loose ends will be tied up. Even though it was shocking to me, it rang true. One of the things that keeps us unhappy is this continual searching for pleasure or security, searching for a little more comfortable situation, either at the domestic level or at the spiritual level or at the level of mental peace.”
Life is life, no way to protect ourselves from the bad days.
from “The Pocket Pema Chodron (Shambhala Pocket Classics)” by Pema Chödrön -
“LIFE is glorious, but life is also wretched. It is both. Appreciating the gloriousness inspires us, encourages us, cheers us up, gives us a bigger perspective, energizes us. We feel connected. But if that’s all that’s happening, we get arrogant and start to look down on others, and there is a sense of making ourselves a big deal and being really serious about it, wanting it to be like that forever. The gloriousness becomes tinged by craving and addiction.”
If I translate this passage into simple redneck…this is what I get: life is good, life is bad. Be careful when life is good…you can get full of yourself and complacent.
from “The Pocket Pema Chodron (Shambhala Pocket Classics)” by Pema Chödrön -
“but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.”
Sobriety doesnt promise a perfect life…it gives us the room
“WHEN we think that something is going to bring us pleasure, we don’t know what’s really going to happen. When we think something is going to give us misery, we don’t know. Letting there be room for not knowing is the most important thing of all. We try to do what we think is going to help. But we don’t know. We never know if we’re going to fall flat or sit up tall. When there’s a big disappointment, we don’t know if that’s the end of the story. It may be just the beginning of a great adventure.”
One of the many blessings of sobriety…I no longer feel I have to control my world. Trying to control my world always sent me right back to the bottle. I just didnt realize that life was unpredictable, could change direction, and just be unexplainable…the ego and arrogance that has to be present to believe you can control that is staggering.
Nothing has equipped me for this camping trip more than Recovey Dharma. I think I could, justifiably by law, throat punch an old man. Everything is wrong, he is an expert on everything, a gazillion ideas on how everything should be done.
And I used it to teach me. Patience, kindness, tolerance, self-peace. Every situation can teach us about ourselves.
from “The Pocket Pema Chodron (Shambhala Pocket Classics)” by Pema Chödrön -
“what we habitually regard as obstacles are not really our enemies, but rather our friends. What we call obstacles are really the way the world and our entire experience teach us where we’re stuck. What may appear to be an arrow or a sword we can actually experience as a flower. Whether we experience what happens to us as obstacle and enemy or as teacher and friend depends entirely on our perception of reality. It depends on our relationship with ourselves.”
knowing ourselves, where we are, where we are present
perspective…even life’s crap, what we can perceive as crap…can always be a life lesson and make us better…is it really crap, or is it not the expectation of what we have in life.
