We read lots of advice So I thought a short form thread for instant motivation might be useful to newcomers. Quick and simple 3 Do’s and 3 Don’ts, what worked for you,
Don’t think you are the only person who feels how you do now,
Don’t sit alone in your own head when there are people here or in your life who want to help you,
Don’t react to every thought about picking up, wait 10 minutes, then wait another 10 minutes.
Do help other people, it will distract you from yourself and save two lives in one day,
Do cry and scream, it’s OK.
Do write a daily gratitude list, even on your worst days you can always find a positive.
Do seek communion with others, sober addicts or non addicts, any meaningful connection is nourishment for the soul.
Don’t let other people’s expectations, real or imagined, dictate your behaviour.
Be kind to yourself. No one ever shamed themselves better.
Don’t believe your own bullshit. We addicts are all sweettalkers and can make ourselves believe anything - work hard to believe in what’s right and act accordingly.
Seek silence, presence, nature, acceptance of what is. It is good.
Don’t be afraid to change and transform anything about you and your life, good habits need healthy, fresh soil to take root.
They may have been said but they need repeating, it took me years to actual listen to what everyone was saying - One day at a time, take it easy, progress not perfection etc etc etc - Clichés in recovery are not clichés they are facts and the fact everyone kept saying the same thing is bc it works if you work it
Do - take it one day at a time. Don’t worry about tomorrow, just focus on today! Today, you can choose to be sober if you set that intention. Tell yourself you WILL go to bed sober tonight and do it. Imagine how strong and proud you’ll wake up feeling.
Do - say NO to the drink that matters: the first drink! Then there won’t be a second or third.
Do - recognise your own courage and bravery, to be here and to be choosing to change your life for the better and love yourself.
Do - talk to someone about what you’re going through. Be vulnerable and brave. You are loved. Come here and share on the forum if you need to. You deserve to be happy and sober. But happiness is an inside job.
Don’t - lose hope. It’s hard, but all things are hard before they’re easy. You’re worthy of the life you want! Take it.
Don’t - make excuses. That’s the enemy speaking; your inner critic who would have you believe all sorts of BS. Do what you say you’re going to do. Recover and help another.
Don’t - give up on yourself. And that means don’t pick up that drink. You’re a happy non-drinker now, you won’t drink because you don’t drink. Identify as a non-drinker. Tell people. You’ll get used to it and it will become your truth and the norm
Find your sober network. This forum is a great start for that. This will be your rock & your motivation.
Prepare to accept new facts and ideas. E.g. the person responsible for your problems is yourself or you most likely won’t be able.to drink again, or everyone’s favorite, who you thought were your friends really aren’t.
Understand that everything you’re going through, most of us already went through it, so when you ask for advice, take it!
Don’t:
Compare your bottom with others. There will always be people with a lower bottom than you, that doesn’t mean “you got time”. Our bottom ends when we decide to stop digging.
Forget to live life: Enjoy the little things. Go for a walk, sip coffee a little slower, enjoy your own company, stare at the sun, treat your self, celebrate your wins.
Finally, don’t sweat it. If you put yourself on the path of success, then you will succeed. Don’t allow stress to get in your way. Don’t worry about th future, enjoy the now.
Whoever is reading this - Go back and read Don’ts 2 and 3 on the above post, then read it again These could well be the most important lessons you need to know today. Thank you @SinceIAwoke
Thank you for this!!! I especially need to utilize your advice about not giving into every thought about picking up, wait 10 minutes, then wait another 10 more! Sometimes I am on this site multiple times an hour, hungry for knowledge, advice and insight!
Thank you for sharing this with us newcomers! I know that I needed to hear it!!
shall we go home now our work here is done.
These could well be the most important lessons you need to know today. Thank you 