Not as dark as my last one (Can’t believe that was three years ago)
So I’m here again, I did come back.
Just like the tides, I’m easy to track.
This time I won’t believe my own lies.
That I can have just one, cause I got wise.
At least I like to think so, back again so here we go, next time I’ll definitely say No.
Rub a dub dub I’m no longer a drunk
The first sip feels like a dream
That soft burn in my throat
I know what this means
Soon, the glass will be empty
The glass will be filed again
With this beautiful red dress
Tasting the wine
I feel more like myself than ever
Free
My thoughts stop racing
The chains holding me back
Fall
So do I
Into the euphoria
Of having another sip
Just a bit more
Then I’ll stop
I promise
It’s the last time
Tomorrow, I will hate myself
And swear to never drink so much alone again
Tomorrow
I will do it again
Because wine is my weakness
This makeshift life
Whispers of inevitability.
Errant choices made
With evangelical zeal,
Soundtracked by gasps
from the dreary eyed crowd.
Thank you. Writing is my release anymore. It’s been my go to since I was a teenager
I was thinking about how addiction takes us away from the ones we love, whether that is another person or our own true selves and came up with this:
I sit, bewitched, as time trickles by.
And there is You, always you.
You,
Barely seem to notice me, anymore,
But before, oh, before…
In the before times, our minds would collide
In cold light
Through hemispheres and burst
Into the infantisimal beauty of the heavens beyond.
We are gone.
Flying above all that haunts us below
We go slow.
Take our time and explore
Every echelon of the ever after, our laughter,
Was a salve.
In the before times.
Now,
We are blind to each other.
Fumbling in formless corners.
A world apart.
Teetering on opposite sides of the abyss that this, this thing.
This thing that cannot be named has brought us to, me and you.
And I sit here, bewitched.
And there is you, always you.
And I…miss you.
Thank you 
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I can’t make poems,
But I love all of you
Patience
I got told to be patient
While a soul is in my body
I just want to feel weightless
There’s nobody out there to stop me
The house will be empty
Just me, two dogs and one chicken
I’m not suicidal, just messed up mentally
I’m the one who stops the gun from clicking
Do you feel my pain?
You can’t see my scars
No we’re not the same
I wear them on my heart
Is it me who messed up?
Why is my mind like a minefield?
Depression really sucks
Welcome to my mind that’s ill
Suicidal ideations confront me lately
No I don’t want to die
I’ll suffer until it’s my time
No way I’m leaving my kids with my ex wife
Or taking away moments from my wife
Letting my stepdaughter down
Paint my face every single day
Boy don’t I feel like a damn clown