Hi fam. New here I’m coming from n.a./a.a. work the n.a. program. I’m a habitual relapser trying to get clean not sober for over 2 1/2 years. Practicing complete abstinence the past month. It’s day one for me after relapsing with 39 days clean & sober. 18 years of chaos and I finally found a sliver of serenity these days. This relapse is different I got a taste of what the fellowships have blessed me with in my life and I want that over this post relapse more than anything. There’s no self pity, no wish I woulda, only get off my ass reflect, stay honest, get to work one day at a time and take this gift free for the taking so that I can share my experience strength and hope to the next person so they can experience this freedom. I’ve never felt free short of a 24 hr relapse everyones road is different I’m grateful for mine sincerely. We do recover one day at a time fam I love you all
Welcome! I can relate to ur post. I am proud of you for keeping at it! I too was a chronic relapser. For 22 years I have been struggling trying to gain real decent recovery time. I did have 3 years once. I was clean and sober but not recovering (if that makes sense). I was white knuckling my recovery and not working the program to my fullest (na and aa were my go to also for 12 step mtgs). I now have 104 days of complete abstinence and really working hard at my recovery. I’m grateful for ur post 
Glad ur here and I hope u keep posting!
That’s right sister absolutely understand you nd can relate to the white knuckling it. I’m so proud of you for you’re accomplishents in you’re recovery I hope ur enjoying it like I am. BY GOLLY WE DO RECOVER LOL. love you butterfly moon as long as we practice these principals we have nothing to fear Just For Today! Stay blessed🙏
Welcome fellow traveler, glad you’re here.
I’m an alcoholic, AA goer and believer. Had my share of relapses like everyone has.
I feel ya on the no self pity, shoulda woulda couldas… an established member at my homegroup said to me “it’s hard to get a good drunk after you’ve already had a belly full of AA” and I came to understand what he meant. When you go and start buying into the program and to yourself, you start feeling that “silver lining” as you call it, that life you want to have and live, that “this is how it could be” feeling and for me drinking lost a lot of power and pull. I was able to start saying not today, I’ll make a meeting and see how I feel after and frankly I would get high on the fellowship, start walk in the clouds without a drink.
Sober just shy of 1600 days nows, and life is still full of the silver lining feeling. Keep walking your path, help everyone you can, make those meetings, do that service work friend… it’s all an investment in yourself and that investment always pays.
Oof well said brother love it. Hahaha yup enough of it will fuck up you’re buzz 
. You stay blessed in recovery my new friend I’ll be seeing you:grin: