Hope your migraine eased soon
Have a wonderful Sunday 
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Wrapping up Day 171.
Slept a lot. Reminding myself that grief takes a lot of energy to metabolize. And I’m definitely still grieving the loss of my relationship with my older brother.
Had a good therapy session today where I discussed everything going on with him, and feeling guilty for my boundaries. She assured me that I’m not overreacting and also pointed out (like other people on here have) that it’s actually good to be told that I’ve changed–it means I’m growing.
Yes, I’m not the same person that I was 6 months ago. And that’s a good thing.
Very grateful to be sober during all of this. Grateful for my friends and loved ones. I’m finally starting to feel more comfortable at work again, and I’m not really flinching when someone approaches me.
Going to celebrate US independence day this Friday with my family, and go to my parents’ house on Sunday to hang out. I’m sad about the rift that has grown between myself and the last member of my family of origin, but I can’t hold that space for him, his journey is his own. Surrounding myself with the people who do love and support me unconditionally.
One day at a time. I can and will do this.
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Day 172.
About to go to sleep. Stayed up a bit too late watching videos because my hair was still drying (going to bed with wet hair when it’s thick and curly is a recipe for disaster). Bit of a headache but overall doing okay.
An uneventful day today and in my line of work, that’s a good thing.
Have another beautiful day, sober peeps.
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You are doing so great…So glad you continue to post here.
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Day 174.
Very strange and scattered dreams last night. But it ended with me taking my deceased dog for a walk, so that was really nice.
She was my soul dog, I raised her since she was a puppy and I was 12, she kept me alive when I was living in the hell that is abuse, she was with me for every big change in my life. She passed in December 2019, so it’s always really nice when I get to see her in dreams.
Her name was Papita (little potato), and I called her Pita.
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Day 175.
Crazy stressful day at work today, and then jumping right into dinner with my family. Can’t wait to finally unwind with good food and my loved ones. Still wanting my adrenaline to come down. What a day.
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Day 178.
My sleep hasn’t been too great these past few days. Trying to get myself together right now since i have a couple of appointments. Follow up call with the PHP and then therapy later this afternoon.
Very sleepy, but I’m going to make some cute and try to get my blood flowing.
Breaking my sobriety will help absolutely nothing. ODAAT.
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Just got a call from my aunt and due to an airline fiasco, she and my uncle will not be visiting this week. I’m pretty bummed out about the whole situation. Yet there is an element of relief in that I won’t have to interact with my older brother since now he won’t come into town.
Grateful I have therapy in an hour. Still trying to navigate these feelings of guilt when it comes to maintaining my boundaries. Glad that I’m sober through all of this or I know it wouldn’t be possible.
Anyway. That’s all for now, i think.
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Day 179.
Actually had a good night’s sleep last night, which is crazy to me. Only a few days away from 6 months of sobriety, which is even crazier.
Feeling pretty optimistic this morning. 
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Day 181.
6 Months Sober
I’ve been having a pretty irritable/stressful last couple of days, with some pretty strong cravings. But I haven’t given up or given in. And seeing all those days stacked up is a pretty huge deal for me.
One more day sober 
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Congrats, 6 months is so awesome and inspiring! Keep up the good work, you got this!
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Heck yeah! Great work on your 6 months. I know that milestone malady is real and can lead us to having stronger urges as we approach a milestone. Stay vigilant friend. Be proud of yourself! Keep up the amazing work 
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Day 183.
Been having a lot of physical pain lately. Haven’t been posting much, but I’ve been reading here every day. Need to keep working on my sobriety.
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I am so sorry to hear about your pain. Hope you feel better soon 
Glad you are still here with us
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Day 184.
Still here. Still sober. Still pretty damn tired, my sleep schedule is kinda of messed up. Gotta go to bed earlier tonight.
Had a good couple of days overall. Went to a local museum yesterday. Going to the buddhist temple today. Tomorrow i have appointments with my psychiatrist and therapist.
Chugging along, one day at a time.
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Just checking in real quick. Maybe it’s the heat, but I’m sooooo sleepy even after taking a nap earlier. Really glad I made time to go to the temple today. Sat on the rooftop deck and started reading a new book that’s been sitting on my end table. Feeling pretty good overall. Kind of bored. Times like this would be perfect for smoking and then zoning out afterwards. Going to try to start a new cross stitch project. Gotta do whatever it takes to go to bed sober tonight. Don’t think I ever posted my last project, so here it is.
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I’m a bit late on it but Big Congrats on 6 months Reese!!
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Lovely cross stitch…thanks for sharing 
. Life’s too short to zone out…glad you are going to start on a new cross stitch…look forward to seeing it
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Day 185.
I’m dealing with a lot of muscle pain in my shoulders/neck/upper back. That’s usually where stress likes to sit. I keep thinking about smoking the CBD heavy weed or the gummies for some pain relief. But I know that even if I got the non-THC gummies or whatever, it would be a really slippery slope for me.
Just trying to do yoga and stretches and regular old tylenol. I feel like a massage therapist would really help, but the thought of someone touching me still makes my skin crawl. I really hate that unless it’s one of my patients or family members, any time I’m touched I’m just reminded of my trauma, and then I feel like I’m “damaged goods”. I know these are unhelpful thoughts with no basis, and I try to challenge them as soon as they pop up. But they’re still there, still affecting me.
I have an appointment with my psychiatrist followed by my therapist today. Going to try to do some cleaning around the house before then, since I know I’ll be emotionally drained afterwards. Taking today moment by moment.
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Sorry a bit late. Yahoo on 6 months…
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