Regret back to day one

So after a stressful week at work my husband was like come on a couple drinks would relax you don’t have to think about work anymore we’ll just have a couple and I said no repeatedly but then I gave in. I was only going to have a couple and I was done but then he went to the store to get more and we ended up drinking until we blacked out and fell asleep. Needless to say I felt like crap all day long on my only day off and now I’m going back to work today trying to continue my sober Journey again next time I’m just going to remember no means no no means no I will not drink. Wish me luck

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If your husband really loves you, he will support you and there will be no alcohol in your home! If he keeps pushing you, ask yourself if he is good for you

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Honestly thats fucked up. When someones trying to do better we shouldnt try to drag them down with us. But then again thats human nature, isnt it? Im sure he just misses his good time buddy.
Just to say, dont hold him to a standard thats impossible for him to fill, but he needs to know you are dead serious about sobriety and if he isnt going to join in, he shouldn’t sabotage.
Stay strong :muscle:

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I agree with this one.

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He probably feels he wants a drinking partner. Unfortunately he is putting his comfort above your health and wants. This is a great thread with people in the same situation. You have to be strong and keep your boundaries.

Are you affected by a loved one who’s an addict?

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Thats messed up on his part.
But at the end of the day, you have to take responsibility. You choose to drink…
But its still messed up that he is pressuring you.

Stand up, brush yourself off, and start again.

Y

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Hey there…I’m sorry that you’re dealing with that at home. My husband is thankfully also sober, but…when it comes to eating, we both have a tendency to fall off the wagon sometimes and go wild eating ice cream etc (still addicts at heart :wink:), we make a plan when we are NOT in the moment as to how to deal with it when it arrises.

Perhaps you tell him not to ask you to drink at all. Even come up with a word that you use so that you don’t have to keep saying no

“Hey come on let’s cut loose tonight”

“Aardvark”

“But we both had a difficult week and we could use it”

“Aardvark”

“Let’s be like we used to, don’t you love me?!”

“Aardvark.”

Now, I’m not saying to use the word aardvark…if fact that probably makes it too funny. But what it DOES do is 1) it causes you both to see the conversation more clearly for what it is. The one sided attempt at convincing you to do something you don’t want to. The more you take your side of the conversation out of it, the easier it is for both of you to see that this is HIM trying to get you to do something you don’t want to. And 2) it takes you having to figure out new ways to say NO out of it. No on its own is very definitive, but….once you get going in conversation and your saying “no because…” or “I really don’t feel like it…” then over time your no can be talked into a maybe and then a yes. Not deviating from your word EVER makes it clear that you won’t budge. Both to you AND to him.

Not sure if this helps…but it’s been working for us and I wanted to share :heart:

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I agree with the others here. You do not have to justify to him or anyone else that you want to not drink. Unfortunately, our whole society is messed up about alcohol, which also doesn’t help! You’re not alone, my husband is a drinker too. So it’s hard not to drink when the beer, wine, rum, vodka, etc. are right there all the time. I wish you well!

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Tell your husband that NO is a complete sentence.

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I’m really angry at him. What an awful thing to do to somebody that you know is trying to live a sober life. The truth is, he wasn’t trying to relax or de-stress you. He was being completely selfish because he didn’t want to drink alone. He pressurised you to make himself feel better about drinking.

I realise that you had some responsibility in this, you could have said no. I would have gotten so angry with him. “NO! AND STOP ASKING ME!!” is what you should have said. You aren’t completely blameless in this.

By not shutting him down, you allowed your husband and alcohol to take away what could have been a lovely sober day. You could have used that time in a much happier, healthier way.

I see your husband as a big fly in your ointment. If he doesn’t love you enough to leave you alone, and keep drink out of your home, then you have a big problem with him. I know my husband wouldn’t ever do this to me, and if he did, I would question our relationship and whether I should be with him at all. Your husband is supposed to support you in what you want to do.

In your shoes, I’d issue an ultimatum. He has a drink problem he has to acknowledge to start with. He :clap: has :clap: a :clap: problem :clap:

He has to solemnly promise to never push you or bring drink into your home. As it stands, he is against you, that is not conducive with a happy marriage. I wish you luck on your sober journey :pray:

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Agree on all counts!

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Im glad to be single while ive gotten sober, i get really lonely sometimes but im pleased i dont have to deal with a partner who wont support me in sobriety. Im sorry your having to put up with that :pensive:

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I can completely relate. My husband and I have been together 12 years and when we met we both partied regularly and drank/smoked mj daily. Now I’m working on my sobriety and he regularly derails my progress by pressing me with “just one”. Ugh! I don’t have the answer and am still working to stay successful despite this but just wanted you to know you’re not alone in this struggle. Hugs and positive vibes! :teddy_bear: we can do this!

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You do have the answer. If you want your sobriety badly enough, you will ask him not to drink or smoke in your home. There are no grey areas with sobriety.

Being sober is something you want to be, or it is not. If you want to be sober, it is not a wild expectation that your life partner should support you.

Something I thought to share, it can’t figure out how to give you a link. Craig Beck has a podcast called “Happy Sober Podcast”. Check out his June 7th episode, “How To Quit Drinking When Your Partner Refuses To Help”. I hope this helps with perspective.

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I’m there with you fully understand, my partner still drinks, but I’ve chosen not too and kind of isolated my self in my head away from drinking, if he chooses too and other people around me, that’s up to them but I’m looking after me, which I know is the best for me and our family, you will get stronger each day, stay on here it’s brilliant strength sent to you

I second this. I love his no BS approach :+1: