Rejection causing anxiety

[Shiv79]

Been a while. I’ve just been observing, and trying to set foundations for my sobriety. But need to share.

Where to start… I’m nearly 4 months sober. I’m divorced, and am on my own with two boys. My boys know I am going to AA meetings and that I’m trying not to drink, one day at a time. Yesterday I went to watch my eldest play rugby. He had two games, so I did nearly 100 miles to support both games. At the end of the second game he just walked off with his dad, and didn’t say goodbye, I had to shout him back. It left me feeling hurt, unimportant and embarrassed. Why am I going on? Months ago I’d of drank on that. But I didn’t. Instead went to bed at 6pm B feeling very low. But I had such real dreams about drinking, I woke thinking I might of done. But I hadn’t. I haven’t dreamt about wine etc for a while now. Somehow feel I have gone backwards. And I feel so bloody low and anxious. Just needed to put it out there.

Lots of love x

[Kleanstar]

Sending you love and light.

Firstly well done for not drinking. That is huge.

I can relate to the feelings of rejection causing anxiety from the ones we love been among the most painful to cope with.

Unfortunately i am realizing this is part of learning to live life on life’s terms. And sometimes this hurts like heck.

We can be emotionally immature and sensitive as addicts. Your kid would probably not have meant anything by their action, just acting like kids caught up in the moment.

But our egos don’t register this.

You took a huge step though by not picking up. You recognized your feeling and took good action by going to bed early. Your kids would be so proud too.

Now is the letting go part. Meetings really help me when I feel like that. I am only in early recovery. I have a long way to go.

Thinking of you x

[Shiv79]

Thank you. You’ve hit the nail on the head, it’s about letting go. Today is a new day sober, and I need to be grateful and positive. Putting things into perspective is important. No real damage done, just a bruised ego.

Thanks so much for the reply, its helped. Have a great day xx

[Lilemm]

Shiv my old buddy me old pal, you did fucking amazing,that would of ripped any mum’s heart out ex drinker or not so you were right and you are ok to feel those emotions that’s progress my dear friend,you got to bed sober progress again my friend you dreamt about drinking …DING DING DING 3 IN A ROW AGAIN PROGRESS.I beleave we share the same Birth day I’m dreaming sooooooo much at the moment about old using ppl and drugs but I feel it’s our Safeway of acting it out REMEMBER PROGRESS IS NOT PERFECTION …

[Shiv79]

Bloody hard isn’t it!!! I actually feel like I have a hangover today. But I’ve not!! Thank God. Much love Emma, nearly 4 months my friend, and for that i am so grateful. And if I push the ego to one side, I know the boys prefer me like this xx Have a good day… X

[anon84416494]

Is this something that ordinarily it would be something him and his Dad do together? Does he spend less time with his Dad than with you? How old is your son? Is this out of the ordinary? How is the relationship with your son?

Has he actually rejected you or is this just how you feel?

[Shiv79]

We share access, I always go to watch, even when not my weekend. He’s 14. All over me when he wants something. Typical teen really. He’s good at using me, this weekend I wasn’t needed. Just ultra sensitive, need to calm my expectations down x

[SassyRocks]

I don’t feel like you have gone backwards. You are human and humans get embarrassed sad, etc. That is normal. It is normal to feel poorly sometimes or anxious…especially today. I myself am feeling it as well. Drinking dreams happen as well. I have watched you here, you are doing so we ll, I hope you are proud of that. You didn’t drink, you posted here…all good things. It is okay to be not okay…you don’t have to drink at that. And it is also okay to cut yourself some slack. I am glad you are here and sober.