Been a while. I’ve just been observing, and trying to set foundations for my sobriety. But need to share.
Where to start… I’m nearly 4 months sober. I’m divorced, and am on my own with two boys. My boys know I am going to AA meetings and that I’m trying not to drink, one day at a time. Yesterday I went to watch my eldest play rugby. He had two games, so I did nearly 100 miles to support both games. At the end of the second game he just walked off with his dad, and didn’t say goodbye, I had to shout him back. It left me feeling hurt, unimportant and embarrassed. Why am I going on? Months ago I’d of drank on that. But I didn’t. Instead went to bed at 6pm B feeling very low. But I had such real dreams about drinking, I woke thinking I might of done. But I hadn’t. I haven’t dreamt about wine etc for a while now. Somehow feel I have gone backwards. And I feel so bloody low and anxious. Just needed to put it out there.
Lots of love x