Starting to feel utterly powerless to my addiciton. I have the most amazing woman in my life who I can be so open and honest with, that supports and trusts me, who wants nothing but my happiness and I feel like I’m taking her hugely for granted. I binge out on porn and everytime I do I completely lose focus of what’s important. Starting to really feel if my life is worth it. I can’t hurt her like I’ve hurt so many others though she’s persistent on sticking by me.
Trying to get actual therapy though the BUS waiting lists have passed me pillar to post for the past 2 years. Tired today.
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I have no words of wisdom but, I hope that you find the help you need. It’s so good that you have a supportive partner. Never give up.
Me 2, thats why I joined this group, what Im gonna do is try harder to re-program my brain. Just fight it sucks for a few mts or hours, but if you get up and do something productive youll forget about getting high.
I feel your pain. I have been a sex addict since I was ten. I finally was told I was an addict seven months ago. I thought I could not live without porn and acting out. I white knuckled and have a sobriety plan that helps. I have found a lot of support through SAA. I go to three or four meetings a week. Progress not prefection one day at a time.
Is your girlfriend able to help with those urges? Being there for you sexually? I’m not sure if that would help you. Just a thought.
Yes when I’m on porn the hours fly by. I can be tired and feel awake. It is tough because porn is so easy and available now in the home. I’m trying to focus on exercise. Setting goals to complete a race. Thinking of training and how I’m going to get my workout in instead of porn. Only a few days sober but trying.
Keep at it. Find a meeting. Get a sponsor.