I was doing so good. Been a heroin addict for almost 12 years now… Got clean and was clean for almost 5 months. I even started working and gained trust back I lost with my family. And then i dont know what happened. I ran into someone I used to use with. And I had money since I have been working and saving. And before I knew it I was getting high again. Almost every day. Still working. But slowly losing all the work I put in. My mom was suspicious a few times but I made her think she was just crazy… Until I overdosed in her basement a few nights ago. Thank God she came down and checked on me. Thank God we had Narcan here. And when I came to, I wasn’t worried that I just died. I was worried they found my stash… How screwed up is that!?! So I am back to square one. Starting it all over. I just downloaded this app to help me get through this. I need all the help I can get.
You can do this! Take one min, one hr, one day at time. You are important to someone!!! 
So glad you recognise you need help.
Have you chatted to your mum about what you’re going through? Sometimes it can be refreshing to have it in the open than the stress of keeping it hidden
So glad you’re alive and happy to see you found this site. There are a ton of people who have right where you’re at. Please take some time to read through the posts on here and keep reaching out and talking about what you’re going through. You don’t have to do this alone.
Wow Laura. I’m so glad your alive and here with us now. You’ve had that good feeling of being clean and you can get that back. Take it one day at a time and check in daily. We’re all here cheering you on. 
I know how rough it can be. 5 months is a good amount of time. Thats the time we are feeling regular which means they tend to think they can use it up again.
Dont be upset you relapsed. Im a constant relapser.
My last drunk i blacked out and spent a ton of money. I was so embarrest i was broke from my relaps. Everyone knew it too. I got non stop lecturs that i just wanted to stop.
They gave me the lecturs because they cared. One person even said they will shut me out if i dont learn
I had no respect for myself and others. I looked at life like it was a game.
Life is more important then anything.
Drugs are full of lies and low self esteem.
Drugs have the capabilety to destroy lives and end them
the disease of addiction can also grow wether we use or not. You could be 30 years sober or just starting off sober or just still use. It gets worse ane worse and worse. Addiction is progresive no matter what.
I went to the bar for 3 beers. 120 dollars later i was blacked out walking home.
Only focuse on the here and now. No one is garentied tomorrow anyway. Dont drink in the moment
Other then that dont stress. and your mom loves you i would think. Be kind to her.
Respect yourself and everyone who cares about you.
Using is worse then sobriety
P.s. You are very goodlooking and have will power. I would be devastated to see that lost like i have so so many times
Dont be sad. Be happy cuz you got that will power.
I am so glad you survived! You almost lost your life! You’ve been given another chance at recovery and it may be your last, time to buckle down and do some of the things that have helped others conquer their addictions long-term. There are so many options to choose from but the important thing is doing something drastically different because what you tried before almost cost you your life! Reading the stories of people on this forum who have been clean for years should give you lots of tips. Rehab might be a good place to start, this is a life-threatening illness and when people almost lose their lives to other illnesses, inpatient care is usually where they start healing. Grateful you are still with us and very worried for you.
Have you ever tryed A.A? Theres a solution to the disease you suffer from. I know this because I’m in the solution from the same disease. Ive been in A.A for 5 months now and im working the steps with a sponsor. My situation sounds familiar to yours. Im working and in sober living and dont have any supervision. So im free to do what i want. And in knowing that and when i look back on my past i know that i have to live the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous everyday or ill get loaded again. But the freedom this program has allowed me can only be gotten by doing the steps. I want to suggest that you give it a try. Honestly what has all your best thinking got you. Try something different. I did and i did it as honestly as i can. I learned how to apply spiritual principles to my everyday living. Life still ain’t easy but its a lot better then when i was just living to get loaded. I used and drink for 30 years heroin meth alcohol it didnt matter i used everything. Today i dont have to nor want to and its because i made a decision to try A.A.
Alcohol has been my constant drug of choice and that got me into many other things over the years. Every other opiate besides heroin. So I get it. It’s hard. I used suboxone when I could find it and then switched to kratom(which unfortunately im still on but I’ll conquer that when the time comes) Luckily for me, cutting out the alcohol makes me 99% less likely to go looking for something else.
But your story pulls my heart strings for a different reason though. When I met my boyfriend, who started as a bartender where I work, I didnt know he was a recovering heroin addict, who just 6 months before overdosed in his parents drive way. I couldn’t believe that. He was vibrant, and funny, and perfect for me. He had went to rehab and was back living with his parents. They helped him while he dug his way out of debt, saved up to buy a car, and within a year he had his own place again. And a year after that he moved in with me and my daughter. Every time I think about his past, I get very sad. Your story made me think of that night where his family surrounded him while medics revived his lifeless body. I thank God he was able to live. I cant imagine never meeting him and not having him in my life. It was amazing to watch as he turned his life around. You can do that too. People want that for you. You can be better than your addiction. You just have to keep going. Keep trying. Do whatever helped the last time you were sober and then do more. Whatever it takes. Bc this disease of ours sucks. And everyone on here knows it. That’s why we’re here. We’re gonna beat it together. Make yourself proud. You can do this Laura.
You got this girl! You can and will overcome the bullshit and you will come out on top…
Glad you’re here… I lost my best friend to a heroin overdose earlier this year. There are tons of good people on here. Wish you the best in your sobriety! You can do it
Happy that you made it! You got a new chance of life. Have you ever consider going to a NA meeting? Check it out! It may be of good help to enter the room filled with real people who understand what you are dealing with.
And maybe there are help groups for family members of addicts in your neighbourhood your mom could join? I think she can use some help too. It’s hard for our relatives to see us suffer.
I wasn’t worried that I just died. I was worried they found my stash… How screwed up is that!?
When I was drinking my “prime directive” was to protect the drinking at all costs. I relate strongly to your thinking on this!
A few months ago, you did something to break the cycle and to start getting better. What did you do then to detox? How did you start your recovery work? And then what happened preceding the relapse? It sounds like you thought it was safe to return to old friends or old haunts. What can you do to counter that thinking? Were you going to meetings of any kind and honestly and fully working that program of recovery?
What is there for you to do now, that you have not done before? What are you willing to do to get clean and serene? What are you holding back on doing? Time to smash that illusion - do what you must do to live free and happy! It happened to me, a drunk of the hopeless variety, and I believe it can happen for you, too.
Blessings on your house 
.
You have proved to yourself you can live clean ,so pick ysself up dust ysself off and keep moving forward,put ysself in your mum’s shoes that’s just of been awful for all involved ,please stay safe and if u have to use which I advise against smoke it don’t iv it.and ask ysself what are you going to change this time rd to make it stick,imva 20 year heroin and benzos user I’ve been clean just shy of a month .I wish you all the best remember stay connected.xx
If you did it once, you can do it again. And being here will only improve your chances.
It happens so fast. I had the same story. Ran into an old friend and that was it. I used once after like 6 years and I was a junkie again. I’m not kidding. It was like it was yesterday And not years between the use.
Took me 6 months to get out again.
I know now that it was only a matter of time before I was gonna use again. Cuz I just stopped but I failed to have any spiritual growth. I addressed none of the reasons that I drank and used in the first place. So of course I was gonna use again as soon as the opportunity came. I had no defense against it because I’m a fucking junkie. That defense had to come from something more than me. I had to learn it. I had to ask for it
Meetings help. Maybe give that a try
Well done on reaching 5 months of sobriety and for being honest with yourself. Have a think back…were you happier sober? It sounds like you got things back on track with your family and work. It isn’t too late to regain control.
You’ve got this!
Thank God u r here and found your way back to getting help and support. I’m a heroin addict so I understand the struggle of getting clean. As u know it’s possible to get clean again. I relapse in September and it was a struggle 4 a while but I was lucky it was only 4 one day but thst relapse was bad enough to realise what i could loose . Please keep reading and reaching out on here were all here to help eachother through our recovery x
Welcome, I am glad you are alive, and here in this community.
I think you know what happened. You ran into an old drug-buddy, and fell into old thoughts and behaviors…
Anyone here who has relapsed will tell you how surprising it is to learn that their addiction is waiting for them, to pick up right where we left off.
I passed 2 years sober from alcohol, a couple weeks ago. I have little doubt that a single “just one for old times” would be all it takes to get me back drinking every night.
I have promised everyone to whom I am accountable that should I have a single drink, I will start attending meetings. This is my next escalation point. This is what I will do differently, if my current efforts fail.
So what do you plan to do differently this time?
You can do it…mdont give up!