Tomorrow I’m going back to my psychiatrist to restart Disulfiram (Antabuse). I’ve been drinking continuously for the past 20 days, and I can clearly see I’ve fallen back into the same cycle I’ve tried hard to escape before.
I don’t want this anymore. I want to break this pattern for good.
I’ve been here before—I know what sober days feel like. I had structure, clarity, and real interest in learning and working. Lately, everything has been slipping: money wasted, overthinking, anxiety, and that constant feeling of being judged or not good enough.
Im so glad ur back! Im sorry u went thru 20 days of hell But im happy to hear that ur seeing ur psychiatrist tmrw.
What things can you do differently this time around? If I remember correctly, u were trying to build some sort of a recovery routine last time (Correct me if im wrong lol). Maybe begin by returning to the basics of recovery. Meetings, readings, journalling, meditation… whatever it is that has helped u in the past.
I believe that u CAN get sober time under ur belt again. Hopefully that medication will help too
Thanks @Butterflymoonwoman for me medication helped (Disilfirum) last time that helped me to get foundation and stay sober for 6 months which is a long sobriety I have received in my entire life.
2 hours to go to meet my doctor today. I will explain him how relapse happened.
Actually my relapse happened when I smoked weed continuously all the time for 5 days and next day morning I slipped to alcohol
Today is really, really hard. I know day one is the toughest. I started my medication today. It’s 6:30 PM now—I’m going to take a shower, eat some light food (my appetite is very low), and then take my medicines.
I went for a short walk (just 10 minutes) with my Daisy (my 5-year-old female Labrador) after 22 days, and she was happy. My mother was happy too.
I switched off my phone. Many friends were calling me to smoke weed and drink alcohol. I know they never used to call me when I was staying sober. Because when I’m on a relapse, they know they can get the most out of me—car, free drinks, cigarettes, etc.
Even the wine shop owner used to be happy because I made bigger bills than most other customers.
My mood and sleep improved because of medinces. Medicines are really helping me because from day 2 i can feel happiniess without drugs and no over thinking and my mind is calmer now.
Sedation is there because of the medicines. No cravings also thanks god.
But im happy to hear that ur seeing ur psychiatrist tmrw.
(Correct me if im wrong lol). Maybe begin by returning to the basics of recovery. Meetings, readings, journalling, meditation… whatever it is that has helped u in the past.
